Breakingthewall

Yes, but there is a will that wants things be exactly as they are. to deepen in love, for whatever. there is an intention, a will that manipulates the infinite and creates the apparent. How can this be selfless? If god were selfless, the only thing there would be is infinity without form existing

enlightenment, or awakening, is realizing what reality is. when it is said: no one is awake here, it is the truth, no one here has really fully realized what reality is. but we all tend to confuse learned wisdom with understanding, and to think that by a few interesting insights we have gotten to the bottom of everything. This is a problem because it prevents us from really advancing in something possible and real. here and now reality is, and you, and me, are that. we are veiled, blind to almost everything, and the work is to lift the veils and see directly and cleanly, without contaminating ideas, neither from Buddha nor from Leo or from anyone else. humility is important, and the realization that only you can open your eyes and see And, If you think that reality cannot be understood, you are wrong. reality is you, and you can fully understand yourself. As soon as you really realize infinity, you will see that you can realize everything. You just have to break the first barrier, the ice crust of the lake, and start diving. the depth is infinite, but you don't need to dive infinitely to understand its structure

I now understand much better what is absolute and what is relative and I agree with you in several of the things you said in our last conversation. The absolute is beyond the relative. really, there is only the absolute, but the relative veils it. The thing is to understand how this happens. the absolute is simply infinity. it's unimaginable, and I wouldn't call it experience, perhaps it's beyond experience, although I'm not sure about that. what is obvious is what the relative is: it is the absolute, hiding everything except exactly what is necessary for the relative experience to take place. obviously there are not two, since if there were, the absolute would not be absolute. there is one, the absolute, which is this, now, hiding its infinity. understanding how this happens is the next step

Do you understand what the form is? the form is the energy that excludes everything that is not the form. if you stop doing that, you become infinite, formless. that energy is egoism. nobody talks about rejecting the form, only about understanding it.

Yes, but will is not infinite, because it does not include the lack of will. god is imaginary, it is the first appearance that creates itself in absolute infinity. total infinity is formless, any form is limitation, and I don't see how will and intelligence can be formless, but probably I'm wrong because I'm not really god realized, just infinity realized

God is not selfless, He has a purpose and does things according to his will. what is disinterested is the absolute total infinity. God is the will and the intelligence that arise in the absolute total infinity. will is by definition selfish

the form is egoism, without egoism there is no form. For there to be a form, it must want to be, and this is selfishness. even a proton is selfish, and a human is enormously selfish. It's the jungle and you have to survive. you have to uproot plants, kill animals and if necessary (and it does) win over other humans. You do not want to be under the pyramid, with you and your children with diseases and hunger. This is obvious. but being aware of it, you can be completely integral in this game, and the first step is to be realistic and see it

the ego is finite because this experience is finite. Let's see, reality is infinite, but it creates a defined experience by creating apparent limits. in your experience some things appear, not infinite things. This is the illusion, but the illusion is real, you can't get out of it. it is unreal in the sense that those limits are transitory and apparent. You can see through them, but they will come back. so you are finite and infinite at the same time, and this experience is relative and absolute at the same time. apparently relative, but apparently from god's pov, from yours as ego it's truly relative

Solipsism means that you are this experience that is going on, not the guy who seems to be the center of the experience. when you see this you realize the need to be completely integral and upright in your way of being. not to create distortion with lies, violence and domination. of the need to create a clean, pure experience. Why? because you are this experience and you love yourself

The number 1 problem of this work is to think that you are fully awake when you are 1% awake. You don't even realize what it means to be awake, how far you can go and how asleep you are, until you have broken many limits in your mind.

Because that is to be awake to a certain extent. Let's see, I have realized the infinity of existence, it is totally obvious when you see it, and what this experience is: it is the infinity limited by ,let's say ,imaginary limits, since reality is without limit, but real in the sense that they are creating this experience and we cannot get out of them. this is infinity but my experience is a guy with a phone. where is everything else? locked, behind those limits. I'm blind to it and the most important: What creates those limits? Am I aware of creating them, of the intelligence and the will that manipulate the infinite? that is, of God. nope, absolutely not. So I'm awake, to a degree, but I want to see it and I will see it. therefore, one must avoid thinking so quickly: I am awake. No. humility and realism

@Razard86 @Bazooka Jesusi understand what you are saying, nail yourself into your experience, in the now, realizing that now is reality, nothing is outside. this is correct but there is a limitation that you cannot break without drugs, or at least, almost no one can. the now is limited, all experience is limitation. even total cessation is limited. without limitation what remains is absolute total infinity. becoming infinite is not just a mental change, it is an energetic change. It is true that it is you yourself who limits you, but yourself as a god, not as a human. all your perception, your experience, is limited. without limits you would dissolve. with drugs you can become infinite for a while, without them, I suppose it's possible but with very serious meditation practices

Infinity is not imagination, it's just absence of limits. What is imagination are the limits

I understand! . the absolute dead void is the last frontier and it is not infinite. because if it were infinite, it could not be dead. it's obvious. It is limited. when doing 5 meo the thing has been: total breakthrough, but nothing, a tunnel that penetrates more and more into nothing. suddenly, it has exploded. it was no longer a tunnel. No limits. it was everything. it was life. Total existence. We have to break that bubble any cost because it's a prison. reality is this, the total infinite being.

quoting conan the barbarian: let the wise argue about crom, he doesn't care! pain and blood amuse him. he is! btw, I just did 5 meo to be able to give a proper opinion. infinite. ?????. God . the key is: infinity. unimaginable. total. the answer is: laughter. total joy. dance. man, if infinity opens, wtf. it is unimaginable. Who understands this?

@Water by the River Great explanation, true wisdom imo. true wisdom imo. the key is to see that absolute emptiness is just another direct experience that is occurring. It is very difficult because it is the absence of everything except experience. In this is what you are looking for, you

That is not far from my experience. the total absence of everything. There no sensory input, no mind, just limitlessness and absolutely nothing. It's something you have to face until you can bear it i guess. I can access that at will with 5 meo, I think I'll do it more often.

Its not terror, it's horror, is different. you can be calm and fearless in the middle of horror but it is still horror. The horror is the total absence of love.

It's not so simple imo. you can understand that you are the direct experience but still remain limited. drugs break those limits. The limits are duality, created by fear. the limits make your energy flow bounce towards yourself. I guess you can break this bubble without drugs, but drugs help a lot to understand what are you doing, what reality is. And there is more to understand. You are real experience, ok, but what you really are? What that experience is? You need to go deep in the experience to see. The experience itself veils it's nature

Totally egoless. The reality is just absolute emptiness, and the emptiness is absolute horror. The essence of reality is death. There is not observer, just death without end. I think that if i solve that enigma, i will have taken a huge step for what this moment, this actual existence, has prepared me for.

The pain in nothing, it's just life. But the horror is something very different. It's like an abyss. You can't break in, because it has not end. It's infinite. It's horrible ?. The first time I came out on the other side it was like this: I took 5 meo, a high dose, and the reality was infinite horror. I got up clutching my head, pacing around the room. a bottomless pit of horror, like a horror gong rumbling into existence. I thought, well, this is what I had to see today. and then I thought: no, I break the limits. that is my essence. I put a very high dose into the pipe without weight it and thought, show me the truth or kill me. immerse me in eternal horror. I surrender to it, and it happened. I. existence. absolute. God.

I already know how the game finish. when I have traversed that seemingly bottomless ocean of horror, the absolute has manifested itself. Hallelujah. the existence that flows from the infinite abyss and links with itself in a dance of love. The glass have been filled. but how to understand that and at the same time the absolute horror? It's not absolute I guess, but it looks like it. There is the Enigma that i have to solve. I know i will , I'm quite close. I don't mean the trauma with my father, that's nothing to me. I mean the horror of existence that has opened up in me as a result of that experience. it is something mystical . god wants to explore absolute horror. so nice. Solution: the absolute horror is absolute love. That is the Enigma that i ve to solve, to understand. Seems impossible, as all the Enigmas

For me there is something very difficult and strange. my father. my father was a pit of horror. My father underwent surgery for throat cancer at the age of 39 and smoked 80 real cigarettes a day, had gin for breakfast, he completely seduced me, my mission in life was to idolize that being. He made me shower with him when I was 10 years old to insult me, make fun of my body. The most hated being was my mother. My mother was from another country, I was raised to hate that country. I watched my father suffocate for 24 hours in horror. When he died, in that exactly moment, I looked into his eyes, and I saw ridiculousness. stupidity, and I had a fit of laughter. I pretend to cry because there were people close. Sometimes, when i do 5meo, i became my father, and it's a pit of horror and i can't understand it. It's the absolute horror. Then i have to do 5 meo again and surrender myself to the horror and go to the other side. It's very difficult, really challenging. The last 2 times i had no balls to immerse myself again in the horror and i couldn't get out in the other side. The Game. Let's Play.

Well, for me was god realization. I don't know what it is for you or for Leo o for anyone the God Realization. for me it was two different (both on psychedelic): one, reality opens and manifests itself as a fire of absolute love, absolute will, absolute power. absolute life. whole existence. the small part of me that remains is bathed in tears and humility. that fire can make me ashes and when everything returns to normal, there is the absolute beauty of everything and a certain relief of not being burned. the time it was quiet is: I am total existence, I rest in the perfect joy of eternity. inside of me is everything. all the love possible, all you could want, is here, now. I am, I am free. it is perfect. is this god realization? it is a realization of the absolute that is existence, but now I have another realization: I am sitting in a park writing on the phone. what is the difference? only the opening, the rupture of the capsule created by survival, but here and now there are also those other experiences, all the infinite love is always here and now. there is nothing more than this, this moment, there are only levels of perception.

I have had awakenings to God, 3 times, brief, and I have thought the same thing than you, but later I realized that God was another direct experience, another state. God is nothing more than a toothache, the two things are existence. I still don't understand it well, and God's awakenings have been brief because it had a terrifying quality, that my surrender and humility were not enough, except once that was calm and perfect. At that moment I thought: it's true, there is another category of being, God is the highest category. but then I realized that god and the actual experience now were the same, this, now. existence existing. Direct experience.