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I've thought I was done with smoking cigarettes so many times yet they have always found a way back into my life. I can be mindful of how destructive they are and really to me there is nothing that makes you feel worse than smoking half a pack daily, yet years go by and I keep coming back to them. I vaped for a while, but that seems dodgy too. It feels a lot cleaner than cigs, but it still makes you cough and I just don't think it would be very smart to vape in the long run. I know of many people who got hooked on nicotine at a young age and then at some point dropped cigs to use snus instead. I think it is better because it doesn't fuck with your lungs and it also nice to not smell of cigarettes or cause other people to suffer from second hand smoke. Yet it is still tobacco and you end up swallowing it, it is causing cancer and is notorious for destroying your gums. Recently I started experimenting with "nicotine pouches", to kick off the smoking habit that creeped its way back into my life during a major ego backlash. It seems as though they can too cause problems with your gums, but you can pick a brand/flavour that doesn't "drill" into your gums the same way snus does. The ingredient list on the brand I'm using atm is "Cellulose, Water, Glycerol, Nicotine, Peppermint oil, Baking soda, Natural aromas". It is pretty hard to find information on this line of products as of right now. I guess not much research has been done it yet. To me it seems like the absolute cleanest way to use nicotine. I don't crave cigs at all when I'm using these and they are very enjoyable to me. Am I missing something? It seems like one of those too good to be true scenarios. Does anyone here have any insight into these products and is there serious health risks with them besides potential gum damage and whatever issues there may be with nicotine usage in general?

The game I'm referring to is Team Fortress 2. As for switching to a game that is similar and has a higher potential for e-sports, i tried that with Overwatch. It was nothing like TF2 in the end and I really rather continue to work in a retail job than try to play that game at a professional level. TF2 has continued to decline in the few years after I left it, it is now struggling with hackers and such in the public servers and lack of developer support. Trying to revive it now seems like an even more daunting task than it would've been a few years ago, yet I would rather attempt that than to continue living a purposeless life. But I'm not so sure if this is just some major ego backlash trying to bring me back to my old comfort zone or if that game truly was and is my purpose. TF2 e-sports always lacked the support from the developers. People have always seen it as a casual game. To me I'm yet to find a game that is as mechanically addicting and satisfying as tf2, the only game that came even close to that would be quake. I guess quake is a good example for why the task to make a living out of TF2 seems impossible. That game has it all, it is an absolute spectacle to watch and the skill level of the top players is insane. Yet it is not a very big e-sport anymore. Kids are more interested in stuff like fortnite and call of duty, which are just not appealing to me.

When I was around 12 years old, I got really invested into a particular video game. Before I even purchased the game and was able to play it, I remember spending countless hours watching videos about it and I got really invested into its mechanics. Fast forward 10 years and I was still heavily invested in it. I spent over 10 000 hours playing this game (real gameplay hours tracked through steam) and I ended up being one of the "top" players in my region in it. To this day I have not been able to reach a similar level of passion for anything else in my life. I ended up selling my gaming computer and leaving that whole thing behind, as I got interested in self-development and started looking at that whole ordeal as an addiction rather than something to pursue for the rest of my life. A big reason for that was the fact that the game never quite picked up as a real e-sport, and I felt it wasn't feasible to create a living from it. As far as I know there is only one person in the whole community who has been able to make a feasible living out of it, and they are still playing it to this day, and seem to be really struggling with it as the game is slowly dying off as is expected. A few years after leaving all of it behind, having grown more than ever yet still unable to find something that I have a similar level of passion toward, I'm left with the question.. Could it have been possible? Even if the game was dying off and the younger generations were interested in completely different types of videogames, would it still have been possible to somehow keep pursuing that path and make a living out of it? I feel as if though that passion I generated as a child toward this game, cannot be brought back. I feel as if I had a limited reservoir of passion in me, and I spent it on this game. I've been really struggling to get excited and generate passion toward anything else in my life in a similar way ever since. I don't know if being "realistic" in this case will really serve me, as I keep struggling with addictions and keep backsliding into problematic behaviour, probably mostly due to lack of purpose and direction. Sure I can get excited about reading, mediation, eating healthy, staying on track.. But that passion doesn't come automatically and I have to really cultivate it and stay discliplined at all times. It's not like that 10 year period of my life where I never had any doubt about what I wanted to spend all my free time doing. Is this just me getting desperate and depressed about the fact that I spent so much of my life wasting time on a videogame that was never going to help me progress my life, or did I actually drop the only genuine passion I will ever have, because I got too brainwashed by self-development content and seeing such behaviour as just a video game addiction? I never played any other games seriously btw, it was just the mechanics and community of this particular game that had me so invested. I felt I had limitless possibilities to improve at it and I almost never felt demotivated to continue the grind. I guess this is something that is in the back of my mind nowadays all the time, because deep down I know that I could've had a huge impact on that game and its community, and I could've played it forever. The main question I have is, is there some initial "life purposes" that are just unrealistic, non feasible, and will not produce fruit no matter how much time you invest into them? (atleast financially) Any answers and thoughts on this are appreciated <3

My girlfriend has some serious insecurities about her looks and various habits that she perceives as shameful. Whenever shes about to leave the house she tends to get a rush of anger or frustration as she is trying to find an outfit she likes and is doing her makeup. She often says things like: "I look like trash" or at worst she will say things that imply she is so dissatisfied with herself that she would rather be dead. It seems as though no matter how many compliments I throw at her, it doesn't seem genuine to her and she doesn't care for them, or she will accuse me of just treating her as an object and just being thirsty. I've tried giving her advice that has helped me fix a lot of my own security issues through personal development work, but recently I've felt as if though my approach to that stuff is a more masculine approach and she doesn't seriously want to try to apply it. The whole "loving yourself" concept seems to be just a fairy tale to her with no practical value to it whatsoever. She doesn't like it when I touch her tummy, she is often ashamed after sex because she "isn't doing anything and is letting me do all the work", she doesn't want to accept a lot of the compliments I'm giving her.. Truth be told I sort of find it cute. In the long term though its clear she needs to work that shit out, just for her to be happy. There is no way this girl would ever be interested in the sort of personal development that actualized.org is centered around. From reading the book "the way of the superior man", I learned that I just need to love her more. Love her through the insecurities and the episodes of anger and insecurity. Realistically though I guess either my love isn't strong enough or that teaching is a load of shit, because I don't think it matters what I say, it wont fix her insecurity problems. That is how I feel right now away. I think my masculine approach to psychological problems wont serve her at all, therefore my direct advice is useless to her. I also think the constant compliments etc. might actually be doing more damage to her in the long run, as she is further becoming dependent on external approval for her confidence. I would appreciate any insight on this topic, I do care for this girl and could see myself living my life out with her, I really just want to find new approaches to this problem.

Thank you all for the wise and insightful replies. I'm going to work on growing out of my juvenile idea of masculinity and continue staying true to my authentic self. If that means eventually losing my gf, so be it, even though that is definitely easier said than done.

Recently I went through a series of psilocybin trips and the most penetrating insight I got from them was to be more authentic, less constrained in my body language and my general self-expression to increase my happiness in life. I've been together with my girlfriend for almost a year now, this is my first serious relationship ever even though I'm 23 years old. One of the things I really appreciate about her is how she shows interest in my personal developement interests and although she had her initial doubts about me using psychedelics, her mind was changed when she actually saw me tripping. After my last trip I began trying to integrate my insight about authenticity and thats when I started noticing things were quite different in our relationship. Here is how I interpret it: Up until now I was basically implementing various pickup strategies and mindsets with her; I noticed that when I was reserved, distant and emotionally flatlined, she was more attracted to me. I was actively taking responsibility for our activities, leading her, making decisions, being blunt with her.. Basically I was being masculine as a manipulation to get her to like me, that is how she became attracted to me in the first place. After my trip I look around me and everywhere I see guys doing this same shit. Playing some masculine role. I feel basically everyone is doing it, some just do it more subtly than others. The problem is that after my trips, I don't wanna do that shit anymore. I want to be who I am, sometimes feminine sometimes masculine. In the last week I've been making childish jokes and giggling to myself, amusing myself yet clearly becoming more unattractive to my girlfriend who has withdrawn to herself more and generally it doesn't seem like she feels physical attraction to me anymore. After we discussed it and I told her pretty openly what I think has happened she basically said she's just been feeling anxious and has had low sex drive, claiming it was unrelated to her feelings towards me, but to me it seems quite clear what has happened. Its like I just wanna say to her something like: "Can you not see how I could put up an act for you again so you would feel more attracted to me? Can we not just skip these bullshit games and work on ourselves to be happier, rather than play this stupid masculine feminine dynamic?" Yet I understand that she has to follow her feelings and instincts, and if she feels no physical pull toward me when I'm being less masculine, that won't be able to be solved by logical understanding or conversation. I just feel like I'm stuck with a couple options none of which are particulary appealing: 1. Get back into "faking" masculinity and doing pick up strategies to turn her on. 2. Find another girl and probably have to do the same pick up stuff to attract them in the first place. 3. Just give it time and hope that things balance out, that she falls in love with my authentic uninhibited, at times girly personality? I appreciate any perspective or advice on this, thank you to anyone who bothered to read.

I haven't used my frying pan since I got an instant pot. It has a stainless steel pot which you can use for sauteeing foods and it works just as well as a frying pan. I use it to cook all veg, meat, grains... I basically got no use for my other pans and pots anymore. Pressure cooking apparently preserves nutrients quite well too. I recommend getting one of those instead of dropping a bunch of money on a high quality frying pan. Frying stuff isnt optimal for good health anyways.

@EnergyArtist To be honest I was always super sceptical about that stuff. To get something for nothing, to orgasm without loss of energy, seems like a fallacy at first glance. I assume that is what you are referring to? I have no direct experience with such practices though and haven't really done any research about them either. Maybe you have some resources you could point me toward?

I've practiced "NoFap" for over 3 years now too, it has been a wild ride. The subreddit was pretty much my introduction to self-improvement back in the day, it is also where I discovered actualized.org as someone recommended it there. At one point in my life I became convinced that the "benefits" were almost definitely just a very strong belief that I was holding and were made stronger by confirmation bias, which is probably partly true, but even still I find it impossible to deny the power of holding your seed. The most important lesson I learned is stop labeling orgasms as "relapses" and "failures". This sort of repressive approach is destructive in my opinion. Most humans go about their life fapping whenever they feel like it and they don't suffer from it the same way you will if you keep thinking you are failing over and over again by jerking off and guilting yourself for it. Learn to love yourself, not just during your best streaks but also during your low points of frequent masturbation. If you haven't watched Leo's video called Awareness Alone Is Curative, I highly recommend you do, and try to apply that approach to NoFap. For me personally the best approach has been to try to limit my ejaculations to once a week or once every two weeks. That wouldn't be possible if you are being harsh on yourself and judging yourself every time you orgasm. Observe, don't judge. Also fuck doing nofap for women. Go practice pickup if that is what you want out of life. You can use this technique for meditation and exercise gains and feel super good in your body. Relationships are secondary IMO.