Mulky

Thanks guys NoSelfSelf I honestly don't know, I think it was nde but could also have to do with my parents/grandparents. I do however want to point out, nde is not required, nobody has control over if that will happen, and you certainly don't want to invite it. And if you did it on purpose it wouldn't be the same, death contemplation is good enough.

Learning about spiral dynamics made sense of many things in my life, a great many things that would have been otherwise bewildering. I have been turquoise since childhood, I think from a nde around the time of my earliest memories. I also had a way of looking at people and life in my youth that was sort of like spiral dynamics. I remember finding it odd that people thought being nice was weak, when I felt someone really strong would be benevolent. I also grew up in the bible belt in an area where I didn't meet many people past orange, and many... many blues... exhaustingly so lol. For many of these reason I always considered people odd,(and they found me odd). Now I feel as though power, a thing that always had bad associations with me, through unchecked epistemological mistakes, is the most needed thing. because power is usually thought to be in relation to someone else, and usually involves some sort of control, it has always had a gross quality to it for me. The power I'm now interested in is power within myself, resting imminent invulnerable power that is purely benevolent and has the good of all at heart. Power with no desire to force or intrude on anything but rest in its purity, to be at peace and unharmable, to stand tranquil in the face of anything, any kind of threat. I had some sense that this was the next step, but had a full on epiphany when receiving advice from Matt on this forum. The ultimate power, however, I feel rests as pure strength in itself not in any way going out to intrude upon anything, but can stand up to anything. I'm excited for this next chapter in my journey. In the earlier stages of massive meditation, introspection, peace, love, etc, in a way you don't always have to employ bravery. Spirituality can be a way of escape, but then it comes back around and leads you down a road where you actually have to be much braver. I feel like this is the stage of bravery, strength, and power, to bring real potency to the softer lovier aspect that was developed in turquoise. Somewhat scary at times but also fun.

Being able to sustain exposure to any quality of energy and feeling without having to put up any sort of wall/block. Sensitive yet able to pass everything through without blocking it, still developing this. Any kind of situation is possible in life, being unafraid of physical harm from others for some reason causes others to never physically threaten you. However karmic/emotional ties/connections to other flawed beings still exists as some sort of subtle threat. Once again being truly unafraid of this seems to be a possible way to overcome this. On some subtle level almost everyone is being harrassed by countless tiny disturbances and being moved by them. Moving with them only strengthens them. There is some sort of powerful inner strength that needs to be developed to repel all of this chaotic movement. If you're "enlightened", or "awakened", you have to ask yourself, are you really unassailable, powerful, immune, free? If you search yourself and be honest have you really made it, are the understandings you have really enough to fully free you from human insanity. If a completely blind person can bring any kind of suffering into your life, something needs to change. If you are really of peace, love, freedom, kindness, empathy, the only reason not to bring all of that out in the face of fear is lack of bravery. If a fearful energy can penetrate you, if you can enter a room full of immense suffering, and not maintain your purely free energy, if it tightens up in any way, there is still work to be done. Cause how can you be free/immune and heal others if you are penetrated and brought down by this energy. This has been my main challenge, even as a kid. The change is the epiphany that love and peace can be very bold and strong, and horribly chaotic energy can be seen through and healed through intense, vigilante equanimous attention and fearlessness from not reacting and not running.

No, you don't exert it at all.

The obstacle to enlightenment is getting the advice, to remove itself. It's getting told to remove itself by knowing that it's pretend. But what's observing all of that happening doesn't need advice.

IF you had a way to keep zooming in forever, then yes there would be no end to how small something could be, small and bigness can go on forever.

Also watching Bob Ross is very nice.

I appreciate every ones insights on this. Even if I don't respond I have still considered your comment.

It doesn't understand, remember, or create, these are all done by things that are objects on some level, because they have properties, they do things, etc. If that is the case, won't any type of learning, remembering, understanding, etc, be done by something that will forget or possibly lose its understanding again.

"Consciousness just observes” is the typical subject/object duality. There’s ultimately no “this” here which watches “that” over there. It’s all observed yet there’s no separate observer. That's exactly what I am saying, that wouldn't be the case if there was anything at all to consiousness itself such as remembering, understanding, creating, or doing. Anything that does any of those things will meet its end eventually, it won't last forever. So in seeking enlightenment it is already the case that consciousness itself is enlightened, what seems to GET enlightened is a mind that is temporary. The point is that if there is something that can become enlightened that thing that became enlightened is not a true identity, because it is a being that can change states/forms, it is really just a movement in life, and not a true foundaitional existence. The existence that is true isn't like that at all, but also that existence can't keep anything, such as a memory. The non dual existence you were describing, in that, it can be said that nothing could be held on to. There is no this, that watches that over there. But in that existance all the this's and that's on any level can move and take any type of form, and this level includes all that we call mental and experiential. For this reason that nothing is stuck to the pure existence under it all, lessons, evolution, memory, couldn't stick either. They could stick to a more subtle form, a more subtle body, or mind, but not to the pure underlying existence. So it really seems to be true that enlightenment just is the truth and it's either known or not, but the being that either knows it or not, isn't the real being, its another object in life.

Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance on Netflix, is pure art. Literally, in fact, pretty much everything you will see on the show is some form of actual sculpture. It is brilliant. I very rarely like any show, but this is on another level. Also touches on spirituality as a bonus.

@synchronicity ya it's a pretty cool vibe overall and very interesting videos.

The tree in your picture reminds me of the dark crystal the new series is amazing.

Well, my favorite movie is Donnie Darko, and I get a slight Donnie Darko vibe from you in the videos

Vivaldi, one of the original rockstars

Since it is true that existence is infinite, everything exists an infinite number of times, every possible way any thing can be. Is this the reason when you think of a movie your experiencing a real reality, because you know through the infinite nature of existence that is real somewhere in that "exact" form. Or is it through some other way that you experience it as a real reality. Like if I imagine something I know it exists somewhere, but I don't feel I'm experiencing it really in any way other than imagining it.

I thought the video was pretty cool

Ok I will check it out thanks Matt

they do till they don't

@Matt8800 Ok thanks again for all the detailed help Matt any other books you could recommend would also be useful, about developing strength etc. Also, do I ever take this predator stance with people who seem to be energy vampires, or is that just for the underlying energy.

One of the earliest memories I can still Remember, I'm guessing I was about 5. Looked up at the sky and an experience happened that can't be explained but the easiest way would be to say I became the sky. Then I thought about it and it didn't make any sense so i thought it away or something.

OK thanks Mu_

I thought it was funny, whats the other forum btw?

Yeah ive had that happen several times, its pretty nice feeling. It's pretty much just letting go completely and just existing, and I think maybe it feels like your leaning when you aren't, because you're normally embodied in some sort of way that is probably pretend and that is actually off balance to the side, but really I'm not sure. The title here really got me because of had that exact thing happen and never heard it mentioned before. Can't say much about its significance other than its definetly at a time of feeling not synonymous with the body.

@Matt8800 Pretty hardcore but yes I'll give it a try and I will look into that book. Thanks