Tangerinedream

I never cared about social status. Even In school when other girls liked the ‘popular’ guys, I always was attracted to the mysterious quiet guys. I prefer alternative n quirky type guys. But still they should be independent and self sufficient. But I don’t give a damn if they are rich/high status or not.

@Preety_India I don’t think it’s the case that all women are being approached all the time. There is only a handful of times when I was cold approached on the street by a random guy. There is lots of things to take into account, I’m a loner and don’t go out partying anymore so I have less chances of being approached than a girl who is often out on the street or going to clubs.

I know this isn’t exactly a serious emotional problem but I didn’t know where else to write it... I, like many women no doubt have fear of ageing and looking older. It’s not about whether or not I can attract people, this is not my fear. this is more about how I feel, looking at myself and feeling down, looking tired more easily etc. I have always been self conscious about my appearance and I feel I’m getting worse confidence wise, not better. How can I change this and be more radiant no matter how many wrinkles I have?

It all depends on how you feel about it? does the situation feel resolved or unresolved? do you feel differently about her now? I think it's normal that something like this might come up at some point during a long term relationship. If she is sorry and knows she made a mistake and you can move on from it then you can try and start over with eachother. set some new boundries, so she understands that if something like that happens again that will be it for you. It depends on if she is aware she made a mistake and is willing to change to move forward. If nothing changes then time to move on. really understand your feelings around it though, don't stay in the relationship and let resentment or jealousy build up.

thankyou for sharing your insignts. regarding topic of whether or not relationships work with people outside of social network i think it depends. once thing i didnt like about living in my small town was that fact that everyone knew eachother, and whoever you dated you would know somebody who had dated them before! people would know who had slept with who and there is a lot of small town gossip lol. so i would want to date people outside of my town and I eventually moved away to meet new people. but i do agree with knowing omeone before you enter commited relationship.. the "flings" i had, where we started off as lovers rarely lasted more than 6 weeks...they never went past the fling stage, because normally in that situation you are having fun and are following your attraction triggers.. but then you start to see the real personality and realise how incompatible you are and it doesnt end up lasting. (not saying it can't happen) my first long term boyfriend, I had known from my friend circle, and we were friends for 2 years, hanging out all together before me and him got together romatically. my 2nd boyfriend was met also through social circle, i already knew who he was and we eventually got talking, and again from hanging out all together in a group we started a relationship. but my 3rd and current partner, I met when I left my town, we met eachother then stayed in contact for a while talking and stuff for a few month, (he was living outside city and we were both too busy to meet up) eventually we met up again, and spent time out with friends, I met his friends and he met some of mine, we eventually got together. haha. so again, another relatonship where we knew eachother first before becoming romantic..

Exactly hahah

..And there has been threads upon threads here complaining about women’s standards being too high and too many expectations for the perfect man ??? Someone save this thread for the future when there is a new complaint about women’s high standards ? lol

That’s amazing news?. Teal swan has a lot of stuff for healing.

Yes this I think is good and agree that they need to learn how to get better with women. . But can you not give this type of teaching a different name, because some people can’t tell difference between toxic pickup and non toxic pickup. and steering away from the toxic pickup culture. But isn’t it going from 1 toxic dynamic and into another? do you think these incel/red&black pill and even orange pill guys can ever change their psyche or is it too ingrained? could an Incel ever really reform into a truly loving person?

I’m curious, I never hear this perspective from you on the forum regarding pickup. why do you promote pickup knowing it’s just a way to seek validation, and not promote more healing. So you’re saying there’s no hope for someone with a damaged psyche? Then what’s the point of it all lol

Keep texts to minimum before meeting, otherwise too many expectations build up. After meeting take at least 3 hours to reply to a text to make it seem like you are busy lol Once things are going well you can call instead of texting. Better to speak to understand the vibe more. Texting just becomes stressful and causes people to make too many stories in their head about what’s going on.

Yes and no. Of course don’t invest too much in the beginning when dating. But this shouldn’t be the case once in a relationship. I think a way to look at it would be (relationship speaking) that the woman takes 2nd place in the mans life. 1st place is his life purpose. Of course 2nd best doesn’t sound good, but 2nd place is still very high in the mans life. It’s even above family members etc. She can still be your ‘queen’ but a woman doesn’t want to be number 1. Yes, of course she wants to be your number 1 girl, but number 2 in life.

???

Sometimes Victim mentality is a coping mechanism for the person. So if you find yourself feeling triggered, try to see that they are doing it as a way to cope, and that it is how they see the world from their eyes. To them that is how life seems and it’s not easy to change it.

@coca

The way you speak is so vulgar, it shows you have a lot of self judgement and self hatred going on, because it seeps out and toxifies your world view. Do you realise, the way you speak of others tells a lot about you. your world view is you, not others. Show yourself some compassion and love, and you will begin to see others with love.

@Jacob Morres ok I didn’t understand properly, it’s been a long day haha. you are saying that girls saying that getting a lot of attention from guys is not as good as it seems, is the equivalent of a rich person saying being rich is not as good as it seems ??

It’s not a good thing. The thing is, it’s not like every girl is getting hundreds of DM’s or hundreds of offers from guys every day. Maybe if you are an influncer or just have a lot of followers would you get this many dm’s. But anyway, girls getting this many messages won’t even bother to take them seriously, it’s just spam. Dms mean nothing.. And this is how it is for girls a lot of the time, they don’t know who to trust, and who is just trying to get sex from them.

I guess a way for guys to understand the other way around would be to imagine that you have hundreds of ‘ugly’ (whatever you view as ugly) girls throwing themselves at you, but you aren’t attracted to any of them, you just want that 1 hot model to give you attention.

Yeah of course, but people don’t want to see it. Everyone else should change but not them. Haha ?

Having mirror held up against you hurts doesn’t it?

Forum guys: girls have way too high standards, they don’t care about incels/ unattractive/nice/low value guys, how can they be so evil and ruthless. also forum guys: I would never stoop so low as to hit on a girl lower than a 6, no thanks, I have standards to keep up, I would rather masturbate than date anyone that low. ??? the hypocrisy is painful.

And what about the girls you judge below a 6 In looks, who you refuse to give a chance? Where is your compassion for them, why don’t you date them and drop your high standards?

@Peter Miklis yes of course. But the point was if you are in a healthy, loving relationship with lots of communication there’d be no reason to cheat. also many people just don’t have that much focus on sex with other people when they have a happy fulfilling relationship and other things going on like life purpose. If you take a unhappy, unfulfilling relationship, and someone without a life purpose then yes then the members of the relationship will no doubt seek pleasure in other ways. there is many ways to look at it.

@Peter Miklis I can see you really want to be right about this. Why do you want it to be the ultimate truth that every person on the planet would do it if given the chance? were you in a relationship before and got cheated on or vice versa?