Tangerinedream

I don’t know warren buffet so can’t comment on him specifically. There is a lot of research to show that the amount of trauma and emotional pain people hold onto is what makes them sick. Things like repressed emotions and hidden stresses lead to cancer and other ailments. Dr Gabor Mate did a lot of research on this (his book when the body says no) It’s also speculated that people who are optimistic about life live longer than those who are pessimistic. But then you hear about optimistic and happy people dying, but to that I would ask, were they really holding onto some trauma and stress that they kept hidden through a guise of positivity? For example people pleasers and those who suppress anger, often end up very sick (chronic pain, strange ailments with no cure) of course bad diet, smoking and drinking is bad for your health and low conscious ultimately, but the ones who actually get sick from these things, were they also emotionally repressed and using thee things as an escape/coping mechanism for a deep issue, or are they happy carefree people having fun and not taking life too seriously? all things to take into account and time will tell as more research is done.

I don’t know, seems political. what I find crazy is how In European countries if you have been vaccinated with something that isn’t a mainstream one like mrna or Astra Zeneca, it won’t be recognised in EU. For example I live in Germany and know people who had been fully vaccinated in China or Russia who then had to get fully vaccinated again (after moving to Germany) so they could be counted as vaxxed and get their QR code pass. So now they have had 4 full shots of something since the summer and 5 shots if they want booster status. It’s frightening. Even now in Germany they have said J&j doesn’t count anymore and those people who had it now need 2 shots of Pfizer or moderna or they loose their vaccinated status.

My boyfriend is super friendly, extroverted and gets along with everyone easily. He makes friends really easily and is a good conversationalist, he likes talking and can have a conversation with someone for a long time just talking about life etc.. he’s very open and has a genuine vibe so people naturally wanna be around him. I’m more introverted and don’t like chatting too much so it’s good for me if we go out and he can do most of the talking, like I can comfortably leave him with family or people he doesn’t know and he will be fine because he never gets awkward. One thing that’s been annoying me a bit lately is that he makes friends with so many girls. He’s open about me being his girlfriend and talks about me, but they will hang out together. First, I trust him it’s not about me worrying he will cheat but I just get annoyed and find it weird sometimes. He befriended one of the neighbours in the building, and they have hung out together several times, he will go to her flat for a cup of tea, or they go out for coffee etc. It’s like girls just get attracted to him and I find it weird when they know he has a gf. I couldn’t imagine myself messaging and meeting with a guy who had a gf. Last month we met another couple at a cafe who we got talking to and got each others contacts. Now the girl has been messaging with my boyfriend organising with him for us to meet up for drinks, I just find it strange that she would message him and not me about it? This makes me put up resistance of not wanting to meet them. those are just 2 examples. I know this probably screams of insecurity and it probably is to some extent, but because I feel that I wouldn’t do that, I have a hard time understanding why they would. Am I just so brainwashed into thinking that a man and woman can’t hang out together without someone catching feelings or there being some kind of expectation? My boyfriend knows I think it’s weird, but he says I’m always invited and it’s me who doesn’t want to make a connection with them. This is partly true and I did hang out with them all together, but it’s like she is ‘his friend’ so I don’t feel like I can connect, Since he and the neighbour had hung out several times before she met me. He has plenty of guy friends but they don’t live here although they do talk on the phone a lot. He said he wants more male friends but that he just hasn’t met anyone who keeps in touch and it’s not his fault that most of the people he meets are female and gets along with them. We live in a city where it’s hard to form friendships! I’ve never tried to stop him or made a big deal out of it, mostly I will frown about it or just say what I’m saying here. Infact I tell him to go without me because I don’t want to. It’s also not something we have argued about, more just me being pissy about it. I know I sound bitter and it’s also probably something to do with the fact that I don’t make friends easily - because I can be hard to let people in! My main close friends are my sisters who I can chat with everything about. But mostly I don’t have any deep friendships. so yeah I dunno what it is, like I said it’s not about me feeling like I don’t trust him, maybe it’s more of an abandonment thing? I also wonder if we are incompatible, maybe I’m simply too introverted so these things get to me. Am I just overthinking it?

Thanks for sharing! Wow, the Nigerian guy in the video has such a good energy. He’s so happy and friendly even when living in such conditions. He’s clearly very smart and could leave that place but he doesn’t and stays there to help his community. It’s admirable.

humans already are just like robots we are also programmed from outside sources. What I would be interested to know is if a robot could be able to feel love and emotions and have a drive to be social (or anti social) ? If a kind of human-like conscious machine could be created, would it have the need to act from a place of survival? Would the robot spontaneously go and cook some food or text another robot friend?would it want to do unconscious things to try and relax and cope with stress? Would they get stressed? seek out companionship? maybe they could be programmed to do those things but in limited form. For example if an artificial ego could be created by let’s say, programming a lot of memories in to the bot - you could program memories of a bad childhood and a pessimistic outlook on life. Or happy childhood memories and a positive outlook. But could the happy one then also have the ability to become sad or feel lonely? Could the pessimistic one ‘wake up’ and have realisations about its childhood and then work to try and change its views? I guess what I would wonder is if they could be created to be unlimited in their thoughts and feelings. I dunno.

I think it would be situational. It’s easy to say you wouldn’t do it if you aren’t in a long term relationship or deeply in love with someone. It’s not so black and white. If you are in a long term commitment marriage or partnership I think it’s a bit naive to think everything will be great the whole time. There will be ups and downs. So it totally depends. It also depends on the person, some people are more easily forgiving where as some people couldn’t live with it. Personally I couldn’t accept it, but that’s coming from the point of view of being in 2 and a half year relationship with no real ties or children. Whereas if I were married for 20 years maybe I could forgive them I dunno. Also I doubt will smith has been 100% faithful.

@Lyubov yes agree. I’ve tried to do the detached thing but realised it’s healthier for me to come out and say what’s bothering me rather than act like I’m too cool to care. now I’ve found that every time i talk something through it makes me more relaxed and makes me not worry so much. I guess also coz I’m an over thinker and a bit of a worrier, that saying what’s on my mind most of the time helps me. It’s all about figuring out your own boundaries and what you are ok with and what you aren’t. I did have a rough relationship in the past where I couldn’t trust my boyfriend at all, but he gave me many reasons not to trust him and he was very secretive. At that time though I was too afraid to say anything because I’d been brought up to brush everything under the rug and not confront anyone. So I ended up feeling I was going crazy and was in a lot of emotional pain which ultimately pushed us further apart because we couldn’t be honest with eachother. So I’ve actually came along way now.

thank you for the replies I’m feeling better already after writing this all out. I guess the only reason it had came up is the fact of these friends being female, which triggered something. Since he’s a very open person it’s natural that people would want to be his friend whether it be girl or boy. This is something that I struggle with - being myself around people I don’t know and being comfortable in any situation. I chatted with my boyfriend again about it, I brought up how I was feeling and we discussed everything. He understands how I feel about everything and said it’s normal I might be territorial about it that kind of thing, we laughed that he also quite liked that I was being territorial and thought it was cute. I said I find it strange how these girls want to hang around with him knowing he has a girlfriend - I said like, most girlfriends wouldn’t allow it. For example my brothers wife would go crazy if he were to go and drink tea with the neighbour lol. He said well they are too close minded to think anything else (which is true lol) he also suggested that that maybe the reason is that they feel more comfortable knowing he’s in a relationship, because if he was single it would feel like more pressure and like it was a date. So the fact he’s taken, means they can be friends without expectations. I guess I hadn’t thought of it in that way. He also said they have never given him any signal that they were into him, and if they did then he obviously wouldn’t have alone time with them.. and that if he was at all attracted he also wouldn’t meet them. I made the point of ‘what if it were me hanging around one on one with guys, would you be ok with that?’ He said it would depend how often I was hanging around with him, but if it were for example someone I’d known for a long time it would be ok. He also made the point that comparing his situation with mine is also more difficult, because I’ve never been the type of person to be sociable with females, let alone males so it would be more odd if I suddenly started spending time with another guy, so if I were to do it that would be more worrying. Whereas he has always been social and has been friends with girls all his life so it’s not something out of the blue for him. I said because we have a close relationship that this doesn’t make me worry so much, but I just had to vent out a few things, since I don’t wanna appear like a ‘fool’ but I also don’t want to control him or stop him seeing people. Anyway all in all Just feeling like it all seems silly in the big picture. So yeah let’s see what happens. He just agreed that he would be more aware and check if I’m ok with something before he does it.

@Raptorsin7 no, I do trust him I don’t have any fears that he would cheat. We have a very close relationship. However I know people that would say I’m crazy for allowing my boyfriend to hang out with other girls - so then I kinda think maybe I should be more upset? But overall I’m pretty chill and uncontrolling about it. I think that if we weren’t so close then I would of course be worried. But he tells me everything when he comes home he isn’t secretive about things.

@Roy I think you may be right. The thing is, I’m not in any emotional pain or feeling hurt. Probably because I’ve done a lot of inner work. It’s just me feeling irritated, and as you say, having a hard time accepting it. I don’t expect him to change and I also think it’s good for him to go and get out his extroverted energy with someone who also wants to chat - For example the neighbour is also very chatty and extroverted.

@PurpleTree ???

Germany has now said that if you had the J&J vaccine it no longer counts, and you should take another 2 shots of Pfizer/moderna to keep vaccination status. It’s actually been proven to be effective against omicron, just not as effective against delta. anyhoo, I wonder if other countries will follow suit? so now 3 million people in Germany who had the Johnson vaccine will loose their qr code if they don’t get more jabs. sorry link is in German but you can translate on Google chrome. https://www.berliner-zeitung.de/news/johnson-und-johnson-millionen-deutsche-ploetzlich-nicht-mehr-vollstaendig-geimpft-li.206662?fbclid=IwAR0FtHsKsRSyuG_B9lXsBdtxPt_RO28XgoJQM8veWLHIpwzs5SltDw783AI

@Ima Freeman yes this is also the case in Germany since last year, you need to be vaccinated to go in all shops and show ID to enter. But now they have tightened it for bars and restaurants, you need to be vaccinated + negative test/booster and show ID. So a lot of documents just to go somewhere. Personally I will only go eat out if it’s planned, the days of spontaneity are over. So places are loosing customers. Germany also wants to impose the forced vaccinations, but I was reading that it’s been pushed back and it’s probably not going to happen now. But who knows, let’s see. is it completely official now in Austria that it will happen? Has it been passed? also will this include people who don’t get the booster shots or only those who are completely unvaccinated? I know that the vaccine pass will be invalid after 9 months, so will those people also be fined if they don’t get a new shot ?

Another thing is that since last weekend, to enter many places just being vaccinated isn’t enough now. I had 2 shots of Moderna, but I now need a negative test if I want to go in a restaurant or bar, and soon more places. BUT if you have the booster, then you don’t need to do a test. where is the logic in that.. shouldn’t everyone need a test whether boostered or not since it can still be spread? That means if I am negative and mix inside with people who are boostered but untested… I can still catch Covid from them. It’s getting more and more strict here it’s crazy and even with all these rules, Germany still hit 100k cases in a day yesterday.

People please be more conscious about the way you word things and speak about others. There is so much toxic language being used here, lots of profanity towards others and hateful words. Especially in regards to women. Very offensive words and phrases get used all the time, this is supposed to be a personal development and consciousness forum. Please just think about what you’re saying and how what you say might be triggering or upsetting.

The way leo shuts down any talk about anti-vax. The same moderation should be taken here when it’s inciting hate against women. But it won’t be because it’s so normalised.

@Eph75 yes of course. But people should also take responsibility for their own actions and what they are saying. Just another case of the triggerer taking no blame and the triggered one having to accept it rather than coming together as a community. But this isn’t just about any one solo person being triggered, this type of language incites hate in the community. And of course it’s going to be women who are more triggered since most stuff is directed towards them, so men won’t notice it as much.

I would say weakness is more about emotional and mental weakness rather than physical weakness.

Great post thanks for sharing your insights could you give an example about a woman needing to incorporate her masculine side? If a woman suppresses her masculine, how will that play out?

What is your emotional state like? It takes a lot of emotional strength to be strong for someone else without loosing yourself. Or this can be recipe for a co dependant relationship. You can totally give love to this person and it’s true that genuine love can bring someone out of the darkness. But you need to still put yourself first and have strong boundaries in place. Just be wary of getting in a situation where you are the light in their life and they feel they can’t live without you. If you are committed to them and want to make it work together then you can try.

Well to most people, intellectual stuff is boring. You may come off as ‘snobby’ if you get too intellectual with people. maybe you can find some kind of a meet up group regarding the types of topics you want to talk about.

Maybe those people also feel the same as you.. why not decide to be the guy who isn’t boring and asks obscure and random questions to people to get them to open up.. Show interest in peoples lives, find out what they like. Most people don’t like to talk about themselves and won’t communicate. what are your interests? Go do stuff involving your interests and meet people who have the same interests so you have something to bond over. Just make the decision to start being the one who talk about interesting stuff and ask people questions, instead of hoping other people will be interesting. if you want to attract interesting people then you yourself have to be interesting, or others will find you boring..

I’m just saying what I understood from the article. Maybe I’m wrong did you read it?

What I understood from the article is that there has always been forgotten men, these ‘excess’ men throughout history would be killed off at war etc. having more women than men in society is better for evolution since one man can father more children than a woman can birth children in a lifetime. So incels today are more noticeable because they aren’t sent away to war or killed off like they would be in the past, they live and stay home and communicate over the internet. so there is an over abundance of masculinity. Incels shouldn’t be mad at women they should be mad at the patriarchy that created this. The same patriarchy that controlled women also had control over the excess of men by sending them away and killing them off. Wow, really, Interesting perspective thanks for sharing.

What does the top 10-20% of men/women even mean? You are thinking about the top richest/high status men and top attractive women. They usually date eachother, because they also understand eachother. So unless you want to become a celebrity or hot shot businessman then don’t expect to get in those type of circles. what could you offer to a top 10% woman? Pointless thinking about those type of girls because they aren’t in your league at all. The same as a hot ,rich male actor isn’t in my league. Why you only think in extremes? you judge that women will only want the top men whilst you yourself speak of only wanting top women. Maybe stop making such extremes for yourself, you can easily date people who are in your own social circle or on your own level. But instead you give yourself an unrealistic extreme to live up to, and then tell yourself it’s because the game is rigged. when In reality there are ‘normal’ girls who aren’t supermodels or instagram girls that would be interested in you if you started socialising more and didn’t judge them as not good enuff. You judge yourself as not being good enough, but then judge that others are not good enough for you