Value

I watched Leo's videos about sex a while back and applied it with my previous GF's with good results, nothing like the 5-10 orgasms per night he is talking about but they got to cum at least 1 and sometimes 2 or 3 times per night. But with my current GF I haven't been able to make her cum even once in our 4 months of knowing each other. What I have noticed is that she doesn't seem to follow my lead in the foreplay, and she won't relax and let me touch her / lick her for very long. I have tried many things but I can't seem to make her relax in the foreplay. Any tips? I really feel bad about this atm to be honest.

You personally pay no time worrying about infidelity, right? Is it because you accept that she might do minor cheating at some point or like how does that work in your case?

Okay, I have been going through the comments and reading up a little bit on sexual repression, anorgasmia, hormones and more. First off, we really love each other. We are the perfect match except for this problem = I want to make it work if I can. According to this article, a whopping 4,6% of women have Anorgasmia - the inability to orgasm. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anorgasmia @Leo Gura - She has come with one guy, once. I tried to ask some smart questions. She said that she never came with a guy before except once with one specific guy (that I think) she was extremely in love with. No details except she said it was the first time she actually enjoyed sex, in contrast to for example her first relationship in which she only had sex a total of 5 times and never liked it (that was way before at age 15-18). - She thinks our sex is great. She is higly attractive and has had a rather high number of short sexual relationships in the past (like 1-3 month long). She really fell for me on a more deep emotional level though, which I genuinely believe and also reciprocate. The thing is she says that she thinks our sex is great and tells her friends about it - we do connect emotionally and the sexual flow overall between us is good, which just makes this issue more confusing. - The idea that guys don't like to please girls. I asked her if she has ever experienced sexual abuse. She said she hasn't (not sure if she was avoiding the topic or not). In response she brought up something like "man, you don't know what it is like to be judged by society. And all these feminist articles that says 'Reclaim the famle orgasm' and things like that." Basically she has this idea that guys actually don't want to please their girls, and thinks going down on girls feel gross. We also spoke about she sometimes meets guys that seem to want to make the girl cum for their own ego. - Can't lead her to deep relaxation, Thyroid Hormones / Energy Problems Furthermore she takes hormones for the thyroid (don't know if it is Hypo or Hyper-thyroid). I can't do relaxation exercises with her either (as in trying to experiment with sexual hypnosis etc), she easily loses concentration and has some energy problems and / or stress and/or sleep disorders - daytime she is very alert but nighttime falls asleep instantly (like when we lay down to do breathing exercise). Other than that she has a crazy, emotionally abusive father that she is barely in contact with. - When things get intense during oral sex she wants out When I go down on her it is as though she feels like it gets too intense and wants out of it before I can make her cum. She wants me to go inside her as quickly as possible, which is what she does enjoy. Found a retailer of Magic Wand, buying one next week. - Maybe she is also desensitized from frequent solo masturbation? I noticed that she (seemingly without even thinking about it) is touching herself (yup, rubbing herself without hiding it even) some mornings when she is barely awake and feeling stressed, it doesn't even seem like a sexual thing to her. Does that relate at all to what you brought up @Justine ? A while ago when we casually spoke about masturbation she said that she usually thinks about previous sex she has had when she masturbates (which feels a bit awkward for me since I know she only ever came with one specific guy). @somegirl Ofcourse what feels best to her is king. @Sine I did try to guide her to cum for me once but it didn't quite work at that time. Furhtermore as I wrote above to Leo I can't really do relaxation techniques with her - she doesn't really follow and falls asleep easily / loses concentration. @ChamberOfReflection Relating to what you are saying, with previous GFs it hasn't been an issue. Never made anyone cum using my dick actually, only clitoral. Wrote more above. @flowboy Thanks for the tip, it might be something we could try. Currently residing in the middle of Europe but otherwise in Scandinavia. @bejapuskas You brought up a good point. For more info see above but overall I would say I am not being attached to her cuming when I am actually with her. Many thanks for the other input / comments as well.

Overall Disorganized/Fearful Avoidant Got fearful-avoidant for both my parents, but got secure for my partner.

@Leo Gura So not because of physical or neurological changes in the ear but rather from the subjective experiential increase in awareness? I have always been able to see the "vision tinnitus" easily - the little pixel like dots that are visible as part of your visual field when you focus on them, wonder if there is a correlation.

@somegirl Ofc that's always my main focus. May I ask what the other thing you could think about would be? Thanks for the input folks. To bridge the gap between differing opinions a little, I think we can all agree on that the point is for me to give her the best experience possible

@Leo Gura Spot on what I am feeling.

@Leo Gura Ok, thanks for the tips. Let me point out, she doesn't seem particularly sexually repressed. She is comfortable with dirty talk, touching me, going down on me and has had many sexual partners in the past.

If so, you have any tips on what might be some good steps to take?

Thanks for the input guys. Some additional points: The relationship overall is good. We both love each other a lot. The sex over all is actually good as well with us connecting well emotionally and enjoying it. The thing about stressing out over orgasm count can def be a real issue but not really something I'm doing when sleeing with her. If I did, I would have been stressing out about it every night for months on end. Still, it doesn't feel right that she is not getting to cum. She is often at work until really late (9-10 hours sometimes) and stresses out about it a lot. Also I noticed she currently has no regular activities or social circles except from hanging with me, in the new city we live in. Could that be the problem? I haven't talked to her about this because I don't want to put pressure on her, and because the sex overall is still good. Thanks.

@Leo Gura how common is this type of medium level infidelity among GFs? Should I worry about it?

Is there a causal relationship there? / Musician with mild tinnitus

@Leo Gura To me this advice seems to be lacking the prospect of possibly killing your social status in school during the learning process. I think one should tread more carefully when doing these things in a school or work environment.

Just start taking notes and structure them, with time it will sort itself gradually. I write down important ideas and observations day by day in my iPhone. 1-2 times per month I re-read, copy-paste and structure them into Microsoft OneNote. Through this process I automatically observe new patterns and make more distinct note taking-categories and get overview of where my life is headed. This habit automatically puts my life in the right direction and also generates solutions to all my problems and hangups.

Thanks a lot!

I am looking to get into Erotic Hypnosis, performing it on/with a girl I am seeing. Maybe somebody has some experience or knowledge to share?:)

@Leo Gura It is disgusting to see the closedmindedness and dogma among reputable scientists regarding this matter. I'm even saving some debunk and skepticism footage for future reference, as a coming showcase in how resistance to new scientific paradigms manifests.

@Leo Gura Love this one.

Finally a scientist who is able to think epistimologically. Although there is a somewhat positive correlation between brain size and degree consciousness, I would be interested to hear how he motivates that considering he is saying that the brain limits consciousness rather than creates is.

Kinda like saying life is harder for wealthy people.

It is not too late, and acting can teach you a lot about yourself (I'm actually doing a lot of improv teather for that reason). Best of luck if you wish to pursue it!

@Hardkill Look up Lue Elizondo man, if you don't reconsider then I don't know what.

This is insane - ever since the first video with Lue Elizondo from 2017 I have been following this topic. It's remarkable.

I am going to travel asap after vaccination. I have been kind of isolating myself working on my life purpose the last 5-7 years. I want to meet new people, adventure, date people and basically get the most of the 20-something-year-old lifestyle that I can. My plan is to also work from my computer 2-3 hours a day when away, as I currently have the opportunity to make money that way. I want to catch up with the life experience some of my peers seem to have gotten "for free" when partying at college, etc. What are you tips for going about doing this? I want to really explore/develop my social aspects fully. I'm thinking of volunteering at workaway. I love to know if anyone has some good tips for how to get an adventure while doing this. <3

I did this, practicing 3 hours a day for its own sake thinking "If I practice 3 hours a day no matter what, nothing can stop me". I got mad chops but I still realize how inefficient I was. To me I learn quicker when indulging in a genuinely inspiring project - with a clear, motivating end vision. Tracking hours gets toxic and can't compete with genuine inspiration and holistic pursuit.