somegirl

I noticed two guys looking at me periodically and laughing. And, I wouldn't make it a big deal but this one guy always acts weird in my presence, he always laughs, makes comments I can't hear, murmurs, whispers. Whenever he sees me he always seems suspicious and calculative. I decided to stand up and ask them both "Why are you talking about me?", being polite but also wanting to let them know I noticed and that I've had enough of this guy's behavior. And they were like "We weren't talking about you"... And I said "Well you keep looking at me while talking". They said "We weren't talking about you, we were talking about a professor" (year right). And I responded "Ohhh, a professor (a bit sarcastically)." And left. I mean I really cannot stand this guys anymore. I won't let him get away with always murmuring about me whenever he sees me. What's the deal with him? I mean, noone can tell me I'm being delusional, because I ALWAYS feel like he talks about me and laughs about me whenever he sees me. No, I am not insecure and no this is not my anxiety spesking. I literally only have this feeling when I'm near his presence. I don't get this feeling with other people.

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@evgn You sound like you are depressed. That this has nothing to do with her, but rather you. I agree that she deserves someone who will absolutely love her, but I think you should maybe try and see if you can fix yourself. And then if you're still unhappy, you know what to do.

Yeah... Don't know why I didn't think of that. So this is why I've been feeling the worst ever after deciding and implementing some changes in my life. Ego backlash. Didn't even cross my mind...

Vasectomy is not a good option for guys in general. Some may end up regretting the decision down the line. There has to be other male birth control options available, which, in 2022, there still are only two. And there are 153638 options for women, most of them including some sort of pain, bleeding, altering of the hormones etc. I mean it's just ridiculous. What's even worse is that women settle for pills and then complain how badly they affect them (duh). We should collectively boycott these pills.

Yes but now when condoms fail, women in some states no longer can get an abortion. Condoms are not perfect and they break and tear. And I know this happened in US, but I know it will have an affect in other countries as well. It all starts from the more developed countries and then it just spreads over time. They already banned abortions on Poland (even before US). This trend will continue and I don't honestly know why the heck is this happening. Like aren't we supposed to make progress and not go back 50 years in time? And as for vasectomy - most guys are not ready for that huge life altering step. Especially young guys. Most guys would love to be dads at some point, just not at that particular stage in their life.

Here we go again, regressing in a year of 2022. We thought we would be having flying cars by the age of 2022, but we are actually gonna go back in medieval ages and ban something that should be noone's business except women's since she is the one doing the birthing of a child. Let's not forget that women don't get pregnant on her own... But looks like all the responsibility is put on women, like they are the only ones responsible for the baby being made. And if this will take place, then they need to get their hands dirty and come up with male birth control. We are tired of suffering all the burdens, responsibility and side effects of birth control. Women are not the only one responsible for a child. It's both women's and men's problem and we should act like it. This is simply ridiculous. I can't even express how furious I am.

It's weird. Even though I have seemingly made a mistake in my first year of college (that I didn't know of because my friend never told me), I still don't regret it. I don't regret anything I did during that period of time. I lived my best life then. Even though it had consequences in terms of friendship, I still don't regret it. But decisions I made when I was feeling low... Even if they seemed like right decisions, I do regret. I didn't feel the best and I was making decisions from a low vibration.

@TurquoiseAngel Just a friendly advice - Summorize your story/problem you have because it's too much time reading long texts. Just so you can get more responses.

How old are you guys? This is important to know. Since she has trauma, I'm gonna assume that she is not virgin? True? Either way, this is very one-sided relationship. You should approach this situation by ending this altogether.

@Ingit Just because you had a bad experience with your previous relationship, does not mean every next relationship is going to be like that. I don't know why you let yourself generalize and put every single girl under same category after just one bad encounter with a girl before. Second, if a person wants to leave you, you cannot do anything about it. But the good thing is, the very fact that they decided that they wanna leave you, should be enough of a sign for you that they are not the right person or "the one" anyway. You don't want to have people who are in your life out of pity. You want people who genuinely want to be part of your life, by their own free will. The right people wouldn't wanna leave you ever and will work through every issue with you.

So true. Why would a person keep someone who wants to leave them? The very fact that they want to leave and end this relationship should be enough of a sign for anyone to let go of such person. She/he is obviously not "the one". Otherwise they wouldn't wanna leave! Ugh. I wish my ex just let me leave without making few attempts to convince me to stay and "we can work it out together" and guilt- tripping me stuff. Just let me leave. I don't want you.

I freaking saw one of close friends of S! In the middle of my city, and btw they (S and his friend) live in a nearby city. How likely is that! Omg I don't care what anybody says, this is a freaking sign! A sign! Edit: I even turned my head to look to see again if it was really him, and he also looked at me

Damn this is a good list. I already noticed myself doing some of these lol.

-Judging gurus and teachers and lebelling them as scammers or "not conscious after all" just because they make human mistakes. Teachers and gurus are still humans capable of making mistakes. Ability to make mistakes doesn't disappear once you realize God, I would imagine. ?

-Not being open-minded the possibility of things not being explainable by logic -Not being open to mysticism, magic and miracles of life (that happen every day) -Throwing out the ideas of multiple Gods (referring to Leos videos of meeting multiple sovereign Gods) just because "it's not logical". -Not being open-minded in general

I have required skills and patience for the design part ? If you ever decide to do anything with it, would love to contribute~

And also, this is normal. You shouldn't trust everybody you meet, that's actually a ticket for disaster. Not everyone is your friend and that's normal.

I can so relate to this part. It's just that we tolerated people taking advantage of our good nature and kindness, that we "lose it" so easily today when we notice a tiniest sign of someone trying to f us over, because we naively tolerated it for too long. We're angry that people abused our innocent nature and kind spirit. Now. I get that you're kinda on a defense mode most of the time. You now see that people are able to hurt you (which you so naively believed couldn't happen to you). But you have to know, there are other people in the world who are NOT a threat to you and who wish you only the best. Those people exist and you have to find them and befriend them. You can still be relaxed and have conversations with people you don't know. Be a little cautious with new people, that's actually wise thing to do, but don't be too paranoid. Trust your gut. Smile. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Chances are, most people are not out to hurt you. You have to assess each person individually (some people just give off that suspicious vibe). You have the power to let people get to know you as much as you let them. You choose how much you share with each person. You don't have to be an open book. Share as much as you are comfortable with.

I'm kinda embarassed when I see how fast I just "lose it". Probably cause I am overly cautious to let anybody mistreat me even a tiniest bit anymore. Cause I guess it used to happen a lot and I didn't understand why I was feeling so weak all the time.

Some of the private messages I sent yesterday got deleted ?

So, yes we did resolve the issues that was bothering her about me (I wasn't aware she was having those issues about me because she never told me and I cannot read anyone's mind) but..... She literally held thise issues and opinions about me for the entirety of our college years. Literally. 4 freaking years. And she thought it was fair towards me to just go on with life, withholding those stuff that was bothering her and that could ONLY be resolved, had she brought up that topic to me (which she never did) and what is worse of all is that she was behaving like everything is fine. I am not okay with that. It keeps popping in my mind. How she kind of deceived me. I thought everything was fine when she was smiling and when we had a great time together, but in reality, she was withholding a lot of stuff from me. Though she doesn't know this, I plan on telling her this when I get done with some stuff before that. So I can concentrate. Though something else also came out of this. Even though I thought we resolved everything, new issue came up. Now I cannot ever be certain if everything is fine with her. Because she has showed me she is able to withhold things from me for a freaking long time (I don't know how she managed to do that) while behaving like everything is fine. Who guarantees that she is not withholding something now, while behaving like everything is fine? Now I cannot literally trust her. Now, she is being quiet again. And I can sense something is wrong. But. This time I don't want to ask her about it. I am done with always coming to her to ask her what's wrong. She has mouth. She can tell me. If she's okay with us drifting apart, so be it. I am already done with this... So tired of always literally pulling out words from her. Nah. If you wanna speak you speak. I don't want to beg her to talk to me and explain why she is being quiet. Nope. Done. Done. Done.

This is very easy to answer and explain. What has happened in your case was to be expected. As you work on yourself and work on your self-esteem and respect, not all of your "friends" will be happy about it, as they cannot use you like they used to. When you show some teeth and focus on your own happiness, people who are used to you always saying "yes" will be confused and even mad. Those are not your friends. They loved you for as long as you could give them what they want. Though, at the same time, you have to do this in moderation. You shouldn't always be "unavailable" and selfishly "focusing on yourself". Part of being in a friendship is that you nurish it. So there has to be a balance. Being too selfish and not caring to help your friends in need sometimes is not good either. Find a balance.

@Spiral Wizard I've learnt that older age doesn't necessarily mean that someone is more mature. That doesn't mean shit. Someone my age could be more mature and responsible than someone who is 10 years older than me (and I'm in my early 20s). I would say... A an older person looking to be in a relationship with older teens/young adults (up to 22 year old) is a red flag. They have no business getting involved with someone who is basically still a kid and is not yet mentally and emotionally developed, compared to them. There's a huge risk of older person abusing and taking advantage of their still-not- developed-brain and molding them into being someone they want them to be.

If you don't feel like it, why would you torture yourself doing soemthing you won't enjoy? BUT. If you think it will help your self-esteem in the long term and stop you from obsessing over sex, then I would do it. Just to get it over with. As I said, if you honestly think you will feel better about your decision after the fact and will help you feel happy in your own body, then I would do it. Waiting for the perfect chance is wasting time. It doesn't exist. It won't happen and you will wait a long time.