somegirl

Elaborate? Maybe an example?

I see. I wouldn't say I have problem with IG models. I think I look good and I'm told that constantly. I just come across people who only value my body/my looks and not anything else. And it happened couple of times that I started to wonder "Do I even have anything else to offer than the looks? Is that really all I am worth?". I mean I have many talents, have unique taste in music, I have friends and am funny and fun to be around when relaxed... So I just get confused how I constantly come across people who are not amazed by my personality. This is why I think, on a deep level, fundamentally, I do not value my personality myself. Because if I did, thid wouldn't be happening.

I'm glad you guys can fix stuff in life by not doing anything. Though that approach doesn't work for me. I can't just "not do" anything and pray on higher power to give me enough luck to fix some aspect of my life, accidentally. Edit: If you were referring to meditation technique, then apologies.

I have seen concrete proof in the real world. By that I mean past experiences etc. I can't even tell you this without lying to you, because all I feel when I ask myself "Is it a feeling or sensation" is numbness. Hmm. This sounds promising. What Leo's meditation video you're referring to exactly? So if I understood you right, once I feel the negative emotions, if I don't feel too overwhelmed, I can go ahead and start telling myself different, more positive narrative? And visualize myself the way I want to be? So I don't stop meditation in any point? Just make playlist that would involve calm music for the first and second part. Well. I do feel a bit embarassed now :P. But I did actually do it, though my problem (generally in life) is... That I'm not constant about things I decide to do. I just keep sabotaging myself. Though when I was doing EFT (for not too long), I just felt super weird and silly. Like... "Some tapping will change my deep rooted subconscious limiting beliefs? Yeah right..." (that was my inner monologe lol). It can be done in a wrong way? How so? I was doing it like this: I was first addressing the problem I was having in life or the problem I am currently having (so I wasn't denying that) and then I said "But I accept and absolutely love myself". Example: "Even though I had some negative experiences with people when I was growing up and I felt absolutely miserable and alone... I choose to absolutely love and accept myself nevertheless." If this is how it is supposed to be done. I am actually so so happy for you. I love to hear that things can indeed change for people and that these techniques do birth some results and are not just some woo-woo stuff. It gets me excited about trying it even more. Sorry Federico, I will actually try this for few days or weeks and will report results back to you. I promise.

I hate this...

I actually started maditating and built so much momentum in such a short time that I entered different/more blissful state of consciousness where I felt awesome about myself/where I wasn't too "in my head". I was actually doing shadow work while meditating, where I imagined the situations that I didn't like and trying to find pleasure in that. It's sick, but it's so good... Like trying to imagine all the situations I felt rejected and liking that. Adoring to be rejected. I tried to hug and accept that part of my shadow who enjoyed being rejected. Because everything that happens in our life, some part of ourselves wanted to experience that. It's hard to hear, it was hard for me to hear but... I feel a sense of control when I feel like I can take responsibility for my life.

Yes... I have symptoms of unworthiness and the cause is... I was born a woman ??? It's a disease lol.

I believe that I don't deserve for someone to put a lot of effort into me, to win me over. I believe I don't deserve the guys I desire the most (I can only afford to settle). I believe there's something wrong with me. I believe some people are better/superior than me. That I am not acceptable as I am right now. I believe I need to hide my true self and pretend to be or pretend to feel something else so I can be accepted and not abandoned. (as little girl I was given silent treatment by multiple people whenever I showed them my anger that was caused by them).

Well I'm glad universe is keeping me away from those kind of people constantly, like, all my life, not letting me befriend them/be with them so they could potentially hurt me, even though I was hurting for being rejected. *sarcasm* I know but how do I achieve this ??? This state of mind where I think I am cool and that I don't need anybody anyway.

It's very easy to identify what are one's limitng beliefs. Simple, look at your life and see what stuff doesn't work out for you. You have no friends or always had friendships that involved betrayal? Then you have limiting belief about friendships. No money? You have limiting belief about money etc... As you said, it's not easy. Why, because that belief has already been enforced in my life multiple times. It has shown me that that limiting belief is true. Welp. If only I could have access to that. Soooo freaking true. Yes but it can also backfire on you and you end up rejected and then that limitnig belief of "unworthiness" gets reinforced. Funny that you mentioned that because I used to have limiting belief about public speaking but today it doesn't scare me one bit. I can easily do it. And back then I dreamed of the day that I am able to say this. Sigh... Thanks for the effort.

Thanks... Though imagine for example... If I want to be friends with someone... I think they are cool and whatnot. And I feel like I can't befriend them because they are "too cool" for me and I am not "in their league"... But I approach them anyway and... They reject me. Now the "I don't deserve things I want" just gets reinforced. And then I die alone in misery

I appreciate you writing that, though I should have put a note that I'm not looking for any therapy or course that would require money from my side. I'm not yet there with money stuff, just a student. I think there is a sea of resources available on the internet for free, I just need a little assistance to find the right information. Just like @flowboy helped me by suggesting I read a book "Existential kink" by Elliott Carolyn for people who have problem with destructive patterns they keep repeating in their lives.

I get you, but I didn't have a limiting belief about picking up the milk in the first place. When I told myself "I can't pick up the milk" I knew I was fooling myself because I KNEW I could and I did. I take action based on what I want to be, but it feels... Unnatural. Forced. I mean sometimes "fake it till you make it" really does work, but sometimes it just doesn't. Especially when it comes to feelings of self-worth and self-love.

Alright. Exercise failed, I spilled the milk. No, kidding, I did that weird-ass exercise. Now what?

@NoSelfSelf When you have an issue you need help with, I'm gonna say to go outside and check if I'm there lol.

@NoSelfSelf Such humour. Much funny.

I am so thankful for Erik for always being honest with me and providing me with information that is relevant to my situation. He analyses each situation with sharp accuracy ,looking at problem from multiple angles and is able to understand everyone in question (if the problem involves multiple people). He's very straightforward, but in a way that one can handle the truth. He's helped me realize the problem that I wasn't aware I was having, and he didn't even need to do that. He decided to do that out of pure intentions and I respect him a lot for that. He occasionally checks up on me, again, not needing to, but because he wants to, and those little things show me that he has pure intentions to help people in need. I thank him again for being so kind and generous. You're setting a great example, Erik ❤️ Keep it up ❤️

I don't want to eat. It doesn't bring me joy, it just feels like nothing.

I feel freaking bad when love is not returned. I feel jelaous for other people who have managed to win love of the person I want too. It's like... Ugh. It's happening way too much and there's a pattern. Some part of me obviously enjoys it. It is sadistic. And I shouldn't judge thay part of me. I should embrace her. Let her be sadistic. Cause she's also part of a whole that is me.

✅ I want universe to give me clear signs about things I should do next and whether I am on the right path or not. I saw a sign just now and I think the universe is telling me "Yes, that's right, you're searching the right thing because that's exactly what's happening in your situation." I hope I'm not just delusional.

I feel like I am entering different state of consciousness. I am meditating and trying to heal parts of my identity that is creating me problems today. Integrate parts of myself that are traumatized, suffering and afraid. I have deep compassion for them. I can see them in my mind. I can see how traumatized one part of me is. How unworthy the other part of me think she is. I fundamentally think I'm unworthy of certain things. Like some things I want are just out of my reach, I am not deserving of them. I am too this and that for "that" to happen. I have had some stuff happen that tell me otherwise - that I can attract some situations that I dreamed of when I was little, but... I think limiting belief is still there. And it sabotages me a lot. Right now I feel I messed up something. I need to feel the feeling completely. It is so uncomfortable. And I feel like I just want to curse at myself. But it is all necessary. I don't want to run away from feelings. I feel they are necessary to feel, in order for change to happen. For clarity to appear. I need to realize my greatness and awesomeness. I can't see it now. Like It is looming, but... I'm not there yet. ✅ I want to become aware of my awesomeness, my greatness and how uniquely beautiful I am, inside and out. I want that. ✅ I want to realize that I am deserving of respect, love and absolute adoration. I deserve for someone to look at me like I am some kind of magic in human form. ✅ I want to realize that I deserve for someone to make effort for me, to hussle for me. I deserve for someone to work hard, it is NOT too much to ask for. It is not an inconvenience for them. It shouldn't be, because I deserve it. I want to realize this. ✅ I want to realize that I offer more than my external beauty. I am not just this beautiful body. I am more than that and I offer more than that. ✅ I want to attracts people who also realize how interesting and awesome I am and how much stuff I am bringing to table. Who think I deserve the world and the utmost respect. (I just realized now - Do I think I'm awesome? Do I think I deserve the world? How can I attract people who think that way if I don't believe that about myself?) ✅ I want to be my own best friend, my greatest lover, my biggest supporter and the person I love the most in this world. ✅ I want the people I desire to befriend/be with, to also want the same in return. ✅I want to accept all parts of my being. The embarassed side, the shy side, the terrified side, the "stupid" side, the ignored side, the angry hurt side. The not loved back side (special place for that one). I want to love them all and integrate them.

Now that I do not care about him anymore, he messages me. Even makes fool of himself. It is funny how reality works.

What are some practical things one can do to be in that state most of the time?

Welcome passenger, you must be new here. Joking aside, this is why people drink. To reach that state. It's amazing. Like, I don't drink like I used to, but when I do, I don't drink because of the taste (I don't like it) but because I want it to get me somewhere lol. I am yet to find out how to reach that amazing carefree state when not drinking. I'm professional overthinker when sober.

I felt a slight compassion though. I don't wanna hate him, but I ask of him to respect me. Like that's the bare minimum.