somegirl

@fridjonk Yeah, that's true, but my name+surname are too common, it's taken on every website, and for my "career path" (especially in this day and age), branding and easy search is important, I feel like. @RendHeaven Cheers for us! Thank you, best of luck to you too @aurum Yeah. It's been going on for a long time now, I'm literally stuck. I am aware of this, but I don't know what do to about it or how to fix it other than deciding on my name, which I'm constantly unable to do. @abrakamowse I'm doing something similar like RossDraws, I dont know if you know about him :P. Just digital girl portraits, illustrations, something that can be hung on a wall (t-shirt, stickers) and look pleasing to the eye! Oh that's cool, how did you get into it? I mean, how did people find out they can comission you for art? Do you have a profile offering all your services?

@abrakamowse Thank you so much! I didn't know about him, I looked him up. It's very creative and cool name to go by. I like other ideas too, including your suggestion, I will try to see if I can come up with something cool using this method. I hope I will succeed lol. @Hello from Russia Everyone has told me it's a minor thing, but I think it's not, and that's why I'm careful. Once I decide the name, I cannot change it anymore, because if I do I will just confuse people and it would be a mess afterwards. So this is like deciding once and for all. lol That's why I'm so hesitant to not make a mistake I will regret later. This has been holding me back for longer that I want to admit, it's embarassing.

If you're not able to enjoy sex with condoms, it would not make such a big difference without it. It's more important to have the right person to do it with.

Who will be vaccinated first?

God, this seems to be the common issue in today's relationships between two young adults. It is tricky. Because on one hand she already found someone she is compatible with, but on another she found him so young that she didn't have time to be on her own or date guys around and just have fun exploring new possibilities. I can see it being a problem. As a matter of fact, one of my former girl friends cheated on her more-than-perfect boyfriend because of this. She was 17 when she met him. She's 21 now, like me. They got back together eventually and they claim to be happy together again and he even wants to marry her. But it's not so perfect now, ever since that happened, because her boyfriend recently started bringing that thing up saying "It came back to me, I remember it all again, I cannot forgive you". Then they would have a fight again and then they would come back together. That's what their relationship looks like now. It's a rollercoaster. And it's unhealthy. When he has flashbacks of her cheating, he treats her very poorly. Abuses her verbally too. We all wonder why she puts up with it. So make your own conclusion out of this. It's an example I have personally had a chance to see. I would suggest to ask your friend what's her priority? To find a husband to marry, or to experience life and then hope to come back to be with him (which is a big risk because he might not be open to reconnect with her again) or try to find someone who is as amazing as he was?

Even though it's true that everything is ultimately survival game, I think going through life thinking people don't appreciate you for you and that everyone is ultimately doing things for their survival benefits and selfish reasons is unhealthy way to look at things. It makes you feel sad and depressed if you go about life thinking like that. It means even when someone in the streets is hurt physically for example, people come up to the person because they have something to gain? Isn't it possible that some people deeply care about well being of others and that's it? I would maybe look at life like it's a game where we need to learn the rules so we can play it efficiently. Take nothing personally.

@flume You're very wise Flume, I've read couple of your comments you post and I agree on everything! I would only wonder, where do people meet their girlfriends/boyfriends usually? Like, beside mutual friends and, even worse, bars and clubs? It seems to me that it's totally random. Like, it seems like people meet each other on streets or something. I even see some people who rarely go out with their friends always finding a boyfriend/girlfriend to be with.

God, I don't visit the site for 1 or two days and a whole show happens. I will be having FOMO for now on.

I haven't always had a negative view on sex. I was actually pretty non-judgemental about it, open, confident, I embraced my feminine sexuality through clothing and my behaviour, posture, gesture, the way I walked, spoke, and was very proud, seductive, free. I imagined once I start being sexually active, I will probably get addicted to it etc. But ever since I started being sexually active, it's not as I imagined it to be. I'm definitely a different person now, considering how differently I think about those stuff now. It's actually shocking, I'm actually different. The fire has been extinguished. Now all of a sudden I have fear of pregnancy (being super careful), fearful of catching STDs, I am timid and embarassed about having sex, I don't want to have sex as much, I don't have confidence, I am not flirtatious and seductive in general. My views about sex has drastically changed. I locked my sexuality. I would be fine not having sex for the rest of my life, that's how I feel. I obviously have a serious problem and I would appreciate your answers and what I need to do to make things a little more enjoyable in bed.

-Hmmm. How could you come up with that conclusion based on the description about my issues I have regarding sex? -This is correct. -Yeah. -I'm in a commited long term relationship. Cannot exactly do that anymore lol. -This is more acceptable answer. And a good one, thank you.

-I am in relationship with my bf. -For a year. -I am actually judgemental. Maybe a bit more than I'd like to admit. -Oh, I was so open to it till I started being sexually active. -Again, I stopped being confident ever since I started being sexually active. So the answer is rarely, if ever. -I was embracing my femininity and sexuality by being flirtatious, playful with guys (when I was single), dressing sexy, I didn't have problem showing off my body through my clothing. Would wear tight clothing often, heels. But it was done in a sphisticated way, I was not vulgar. And people were seeing that and complimenting me. Had an amazing feedback from both girls and guys. -Of course it isn't. It's such a broad term. But it was the easiest to express it through clothing. The most obvious, I mean. When someone sees me for the first time, they see my face, hair and clothes I wear. But there was so much more than that. It could be seen in a way I carry myself. -Right now? Not proud at all. I don't want to show off at all. The funny thing is, I didn't gain weight or anything like that, I'm basically the same as I was before getting into relationship, I just all of a sudden shied away from the world and locked myself in when I started being sexually active. -I am sure it would fix it a little bit if I tried it. But the thing is I'm not even motivated to act and carry myself in such sexy and feminine way anymore. -Right now I only feel as if I would not have problem not having sex for the rest of my life. But this is not what I want. This is the exact reason why I find this to be a problem. I am writing a thread because I don't feel good about feeling this way about sex. -It's coming from a wrong place, somewhere in the mind. The same place where the thought "You suck" would come from, for example. -It's obvious that this is obviously not what I want to feel like about sex. I want to love it! And I want to be happy and confident in my sexuality. -Good question. I think it's because of my boyfriend. Long story, I answered it already, this is the answer: The thing is, I trust him 100% that he would not cheat on me. No doubt. He has proven his loyality. The reason I've not been feeling this conflict about sex (one of the reasons) is because he didn't convince me he takes care of his sexual health. I'll explain. He started having some weird symptoms down there earlier this year and he ignored it completely because it went away fast, but he never told me about it, and we slept without protection (once). In the end it turned out to not be a big deal, it's the virus that appears only when immune system drastically drops and is only infectious when the symptoms are showing. It's not a big deal, that's what the doctors have told us. But before we got such answers from doctors, I got SO scared and paranoid. I'm sensitive, as I said. Plus he is my first sexual partner. I didn't feel great after I heard he had some symptoms he didn't tell me about. And he told me after we slept without protection. I felt deceived. And he made mistake for not telling me. I haven't felt the safest because I saw how lightly he took his sexual health. Now that this whole drama happened, he thinks differently about it. -Um, well, that's a broad question. I am timid when I;m miting new people maybe, sometimes. -It is possible. Why? Well -Soul bonding experience. Out of this world, when it's done right. Safe place. -For a while. Ever since I started being sexually active. -Same answer I applied to "Where are these fears of pregnancy and catching STD'S coming from?" can be applied to this question too. In a nutshell, my boyfriend obviously not convincing me having sex is the safest thing there is. -I feel it in my mind and it's coming from a negative place. It doesn't come from the light and positive place for sure.

Same. I am very sensitive and emotional. I'm not sure. We share a lot, we know what's going on in our lives, we see each other. But I wouldn't say we have deep emotional bonding. We have closeness but not that deep and amazing as I maybe anticipated. The thing is, I trust him 100% that he would not cheat on me. No doubt. He has proven his loyality. The reason I've not been feeling this conflict about sex (one of the reasons) is because he didn't convince me he takes care of his sexual health. I'll explain. He started having some weird symptoms down there earlier this year and he ignored it completely because it went away fast, but he never told me about it, and we slept without protection (once). In the end it turned out to not be a big deal, it's the virus that appears only when immune system drastically drops and is only infectious when the symptoms are showing. It's not a big deal, that's what the doctors have told us. But before we got such answers from doctors, I got SO scared and paranoid. I'm sensitive, as I said. Plus he is my first sexual partner. I didn't feel great after I heard he had some symptoms he didn't tell me about. And he told me after we slept without protection. I felt deceived. And he made mistake for not telling me. I haven't felt the safest because I saw how lightly he took his sexual health. Now that this whole drama happened, he thinks differently about it.

So true. Thanks, and sure, will look into diet also. @Globalcollective Thank you a lot. This I will keep in mind.

Could you explain how you did it? It would be very helpful

@Shin you mean foreplay must last longer?

@Gesundheit Lack of desire. Lack of wanting to experiment with it any more. Maybe it's just the person I'm with, maybe it's because I'm just generally unhappy with my life and therefore I might be emotionally unavailable or closed because of it. But I was hoping sex could still be amazing, even when things are not perfect in my life (after all, we hear people only wanting casual sex and are still able to enjoy it, despite not being emotionally available). @loub Thank you for taking time to write all that! Amazing question. I am first and foremost not generally happy with my current life situation. And I am not therefore happy with myself. And everything stems from that. I imagined myself to be very playful in bed, very seductive, confident. I am none of that lol. I am 21 btw. @flume It wasn't like one time and then I was disappointed. I did it the second, third, fourth time. It was a whole year almost, with the same person (and lockdown that prevented us from seeing each other). And I still feel the same. I imagine this to be the same as kissing. When you kiss someone you really like, you feel butterflies. But if you kiss a stranger, you only feel meat rubbing against each other. Correct me if I'm having overly simplistic view on this. Btw appreciate all the help and effort to help me!

@aurum I didn't have many sexual experiences (partners), only one.

@flume interesting. Honestly I didn't know it was mostly man's rensposibility. But if sex doesn't feel that great for women in general, why they do it over and over again? Just to satisfy the guy? Even though she doesn't really enjoy it as much as he does?

Thanks for your consolation. Maybe it's him, maybe it's me not being too into it. And/or inner problems I have. But I was reading how no matter how much you might love someone, that it is not guaranteed that the sex will be great too. Love is not enough. And as a matter of fact, sex might be amazing between two people who don't love each other at all.

My bf is actually has a lot of experience in it. It might be because of emotions I feel. Or lack thereof.

Enlightment? No, not at all.

I am heterosexual for sure. I don't feel that amazing feeling everyone is talking about. I used to have high sexual drive up until I actually started being sexually active. Then it stopped, magically.

Yeah, especially because girls are more prone to catching certain STDs than guys statistically. We have to be more careful. And not to mention - pregnancy. But even despite all of this things, I see girls not bein so anxious and worried about it... And they love sex.

@Shin I don't think I am either those sexual orientations. I used to be so excited about it! I couldn't wait to have it. I think something else is wrong.

I'm a bit afraid of imagining something I actually don't want and materializing it into existence. So for example, I would visualize/imagine bright future with a loved one, travelling around the world and then all of a sudden a scary thought pops up, getting hit by a car. Then I try next thought that feels good, and then again, interruption by a tragic scene. It's as if there is something in my mind purposely ruining the scene I want to create in my mind! Maybe if I don't give meaning to any of these unwanted thoughts and disidentify myself from it and don't associate myself with it, it won't matter, and I won't, in fact, materialize these stuff in real life? I don't know what to do about this. Any advice?