somegirl

They are sexually frustrated cause they haven't had much experience with the opposite sex. In most cases it is because of that. It's a bit dangerious to fall into that cathegory because you may grow bitter and resentful towards opposite sex for not "giving you" that.

This thread is frankly hilarious. What's the point here? You don't want to learn anything, you're just overgeneralizing female population by asking such question. And honestly you seem a little frustrated and bitter about women. If it's helps you somehow, both men and women are biased, they're both selfish and they both want to appear high value. Asking why "women get angry when man has standards" is gross overgeneralization based on one video you saw on the internet.

Lol, I know plenty. I guess it depends on where you live. People in Europe are more reserved. Yes it is possible that girls go to clubs just to dance and have fun with her friends. It takes either alcohol or exceptionally charming guy for a girl to separate herself from a friend group.

I imagine it is true that women behave in such promiscuous ways in places like clubs, where they get drunk and loosen up. In such condition they would hook up with a guy they otherwise wouldn't even talk with. But in real life, it is very hard to get a girl to sleep with a guy, even more so when she is a virgin. It is just in girl's biology, that it is not in her favour to sleep with as many guys as she can, because girls generally seek security and quality. Plus she would be taking more risks if she would behave in such a way, compared to guys who are more carefree about those stuff and don't have as much things to lose as girls do.

Thank you for this. A lot easier to have it written down ♥️

Stand your ground and let her know what you said here. Obviously you wouldn't be so happy to stay as you are now, because you stated you would want a exclusive monogamous relationship with her.

So I've been hanging out with my group of friends for like 3 years and have been drinking with them during that time. I'm not at all a heavy drinker, though I have low tolerance to alcohol so one beer is enough to get me kinda tipsy. Though eat relatively healthy, so I don't want to mess that up. I still want to hang out with my friends since it's fun, but I don't want to drink strong alcoholic drinks. I've been having a problem with ordering drinks lately, so I usually just have a beer (don't know how good/bad it is). Is there any other (healthy) option that I have available when going to the clubs/bars? And is one beer a week bad health decision anyway? Thanks a lot for you replies in advance.

I get that you probably found someone who sparks your interest and it is very exciting (been there), but one shouldn't be desperate to lose anyone, especially when you are still in "getting to know each other" phase. And you ESPECIALLY don't say to him that you would do anything for him, let alone give up your life for him, at the beginning. Why even say that? It does look desperate. Maybe he felt that desperate feeling he got from you and said what he said. But I get your excitement. You should feel content with whatever happens. All the things he gives you, you can give yourself. That's when you will look confident and also attractive to him. He will then chase you.

I like that you have that attitude and stand behind that principle. I think I might be able to pull that off too, just to stand my ground when I decide not to drink. And be fine whatever happens. Just to clerify, we don't exactly "drink to tolerate each other's company". We do a lot of stuff together, not just go to clubs. But yeah, maybe when I start making changes like these, they won't be able to follow up on that and I might distance myself from them. Or not. Whatever happens happens. I just go with the flow.

Lol, not my thing at all. Don't even smoke regular cigarettes. I don't know what that is. But just a reminder, standard club/pub might not have non-ordinary drinks. Eating a variety of foods every day that provide one with vitamins and other good stuff should replace empty calories and no nutrients in alcohol that one consumes only one day a week, no?

Not really my thing. Haha But I'm sure DMT must be great replacement lol. I order beer, that's the most I can tolerate. I never liked the taste of any alcohol ever. Non-alcoholic cocktails sound like good alternative. And yeah, I'm a bit afraid of that too. But if they don't like it, or have a problem with it, I braced myself to not go out anymore. It's become a bit tiring over the years anyway.

Well, the rule in these clubs are that if you're there, you have to order something. Otherwise they kick you out. And besides that, I mean, in social situations, ordering nothing/water is weird, and I know it sounds stupid, but I have to play by the rules. That's why I wanna be sneaky about it and order something that is the most harmless to my body. What your friends say about you odering water?

I'm very close to this frind of mine. We met in college, and have known each other for 3 years now. Howerever. She has this weird habit where, one day, she will communicate with me alright, we have fun, laugh etc, and then other day she (almost) completely ignores me and doesn't talk to me at all, and we don't connect. And then I often wonder if she is upset with me, or if I did something wrong. We could be in a same company, yet she barely talks to me, and I feel ignored. And I sincerely don't think she does this to hurt me. But nevertheless, it bothers me a bit. I don't know why this happens. I'm now in a situation where I find myself wondering "how will she behave towards me today?" Will she be in a mood to talk to me normally or will she turn and talk to other people, without saying a word to me for a whole day. And I hate this. It's emotionally draining. I don't know what to do. Am I being possesive here? Advice? Thanks.

@Thought Art Introverted enough to talk to other people but not me.

@kinesin Thanks so much for this. It makes a lot of sense. I really did think it's not personal, but I was confused as to why she feels the need to just disconnect from me, and instead talk to other people. She is social, just not with me (at all, on those days). But this gives some sort of understanding.

You think this is the case? Do you think, if she really needs drama, if I ignore her, this will eventually pass? Because I'm not engaging. (I will talk to her nevertheless btw, just asking if this logic makes sense)

The reason I am afraid is because I associate "me feeling bothered about something and expressing it to someone" with conflicts and argumenets. Almost always when I expressed what bothered me, I always made person angry and it didn't end well. That's why. And I don't want to get in conflict with person I care about. I don't want to lose her. But at the same time, I'm aware that, if she is unable to understand me and care for me in this situation when I express what bothers me, she shouldn't be my friend in the first place.

@EmptyVase Well, I am honestly confused about her behaviour. But I think my fault is that I gave away too much of my "power" to her, so now my mood depends on whether or not she will decide to (almost) completely ignore me or talk to me normally. I think wanting to know why you're ignored is not possesive. I might be possesive in a way that I pay attention to her too much and worry how she will behave towards me that day. Edit: Didn't see the first question. I didn't talk to her about it. I'm a bit afraid because I don't want to be in conflict with her.

@Thunder Kiss I used to have this problem. My issue was related to stress. I was under stress and wasn't aware of it so to calm myself down I bite my nails. Maybe it's the case for you too. Just try to relax as much as possible, don't worry about unnecessary stuff and also, just DECIDE to quit it. Just make a decision. It's very powerful to make a decision.

So me and my ex met up today because he told me I forgot an item in his house so he wanted to give it to me. We broke up 2 months ago so this is the first time I saw him. We talked a bit, and I told him (since we were talking about our relationship) that I wouldn't be willing to have sex with him because I have developed aversion towards it so I feel more at peace when I don't do it. He told me that he would be okay with not having sex because he misses so much and he wants me more than sex itself. Is he telling the truth? He is obviously a heterosexual guy with needs so I was suspicious about this.

Wishing society and human nature would be different to suit your lack of willingness to put yourself out there and find someone you like and who likes you back, is silly. Reality is already the way it is. What attracts women and what attracts men is the way it is. Instead of wishing things would be different and "women lower their standards and be less picky and entitled" because some men have trouble with how things already are, it would be wiser to learn the rules of the game and play by it. Girls also have to learn rules, what works and what doesn't. Girls also have their own struggles, which are valid just like men have their own.

Appreciate the honesty there.

I had this same thought too, but is it really true though? I mean, when you see someone you love with somebody else happy, it certainly would suck.

Good point.

Understood, yeah. Thanks for pointing that out. Some things that happened made me feel not entirely good, or safe and made me not trust him in that aspect of relationship. The fact that I was the one insisiting on using protection, for example (he didn't want to use it at first due to discomofort), even though he had many partners before me and has more experience, has left a bad taste in my mouth. The fact that he wasn't entirely honest about his sexual condition and chose to not tell me he had some symptoms that cleared out before sleeping with me without protection also made me feel bad and worried. I know he didn't purposely try to make me feel bad. But I feel these things are a big deal. Noone is perfect, I know that. But I'm trying to get over this. And I feel bad for guilt tripping him. I saw he was sorry.