somegirl

Not a big disadvantage. Moreover, women suffer more because of that lool. Again, that's bad news for women. That I agree with. Society is also more likely to believe women than men when there is a serious accusation going on. But I see men complaining even about that.

Yep, seems reasonable.

Well we could go on and on on examples of how humans have advantages over some animals and plants, but I'm talking/wondering specifically about human race only, in this case - women and men. It's like God has given some kind of special self-defense tool/power to men that God knew was gonna be so useful, whereas women were deprived of it. How so? Why is there not a balance?

It's normal for those awkward silent moments to occur in the beginning. Though it shouldn't let you be paralyzed. If it does, it means you're caring too much about the result of this encounter. I guess you can try to detach from the outcome. Anything that is meant for you will somehow find its way to you and won't leave you. Approach these dates with abundance mindset. Like, they are not the only people in the world (even though you really like them). If it's meant to be, it will work out.

Saw these nice quick tips and advices on relationships and dating and thought it could be helpful for some people here as well. Source: @mentalhealth.q on Instagram

@museumoftrees It's not to gain control, but we won't sleep until there is some kind of emotional connection. We won't do it just to fill out formalities. Lol imagine a girl sleeping with every guy she goes on date with, just because a guy can't wait. Sex is not a casual thing for girls, as I said.

@selfvalley neediness and insecurity.

@kras You don't own her. She is free to express herself. She shouldn't just cover herself once she is in a relationship. She is her own person with her own identity. You gotta trust the process. If she stays, she stays, if she leaves, she leaves. If she is giving your an impression that you can trust her, then she probably won't do anything with other man. If, however, she ends up doing something that would hurt you, obviously it wasn't meant to be. Whatever is meant for you won't leave you. Just trust that.

I didn't see this, this is very good point and one more reason why communication is important, before you guys sleep. Apart from emotional hurt, why noone mentioned this aspect too? It's stupid tactic. Like, you would risk your health (even with protection) with a guy you don't even know that much just in hopes for a relationship to even start? And then what if you find out the next day that he's not actually serious about you anyway, blocked and deleted you, but you already put your health on a line with a guy whose health status you don't even know? Yeah, no...

Is beauty a measurment of worth for women in her entire life? Do people think that the first 25-30 years of her life is the best she can get in her limited time on this earth, and it only gets worse after that "peak"? What should women do after their peak years? Just... Not exist? Cause beauty is all there is to them?

Sex is not a casual thing, especially for girls. It involves your heart and soul. People who treat it casually usually indicate that there is something wrong with them.

@Roy Agreed 100%. That's what I was saying too. You can't just give "it" up everytime you find some person attractive, expecting they will commit after that. Communication should definitely take place so both parties can see if they are on the same page.

@sleep your dreams can become reality. On a serious note, if you think this way about males, maybe you are indeed homosexual. You don't need to wish to be one, you maybe are already one, without realizing it.

I would actually ask a guy what he is looking for on a date. Either first or second date. After all, you both know why you went on a date. It's not like you went on a date to discuss potential friendship, but to discuss potential relationship, if there is attraction. So it's not weird to ask if he's looking for something serious on a date. Believe me, it won't scare them away. If he's that easily scared away you got your answer anyway. Reason I give this advice: One of my friends discussed this with her boyfriend in the beginning stage of relationship, and they are 4 years together and still going. So the right guy will not run away, if his intentions are good and non-malicious. Just talk like two mature adults. That way noone gets confused and everything is clear. I would also recommend to you to listen to people who have successful relationships for advice on this matter, not ones who think they know what they're talking about, but never actually had long term relationships. Just like you wouldn't listen to poor person for a business advice.

@tolo Dating in stage blue country can be incredibly frustrating for the exact reasons you wrote in your original post. It's just different level of consciousness they are at. But I still kinda hope that the right people can find you even in those environments. For example, in high school, there are lots of people there and they are all in similar life stages, but you always somehow managed to befriend the right kind of person for you, who fit with your worldview/personality etc. So I hope the same can be done in this case. I guess you can just go to places that those more-developed people usually go to, out of fun. No expectations.

Though there are some people who get into multiple relationships, even with people they are not truly attracted to, just for the sake of it. Or for learning experience/other reasons. I was one of those people. But then I figured I would rather stay single than be with someone I kind of liked. I wanted to give this guy a chance. I thought I was too picky. But it didn't truly fulfill me. And it made me kinda miserable, now looking back. I want to absolutely adore the person I am with. But I'm kinda grateful i went through that process because now I know what I want a little better.

No, you're in the right. You shouldn't change yourself to "fit in" with stage red/blue people, not at all. If you do, you wouldn't be truly happy and you would be settling. Better work on yourself and stay single than be with someone you know is not right fit for you and won't fulfill you. That leads to long term suffering. Eventually the right person will find you.

Of course most people who approach you do so for superficial reasons. That's all they know, they can't see your personality. They don't know who you are as a person, at least not yet, unless they start talking to you and get to know you beyond your looks. Give people a chance. At least give those ones you find physically attractive, because that IS important, among other things. Then you can go on dates and decide if you like them as a person. And one more thing... If you think it is difficult to find "the one", you will keep living that reality. Self-fullfilling prophecy.

So girl number 3 that I know of, who is my age (early 20's) got engaged today. I thought that is too early but apparently everyone who gets into relationship gets engaged and married, one even has a kid (got it when she was 21). And each one of these relationships lasted 1 year before they got engaged. Do you think it's wise thing to do? What's your opinion on early marriages? And how to overcome a feelings of inferiority and feelings like you're "behind them" in that aspect of life?

Her inconsiderate actions sometimes hurt me and when I voice that to her, she just dismisses my hurt feelings and tells me I'm the crazy one for being upset over such "minor" thing (everything I get upset about she minimizes and invalidates and calls it a "minor thing"). She won't try to understand. And on top of that, when I get even more hurt that she called me crazy just because I voiced my feelings to her, she gets angry at me and doubles down even more. Eventually it escalates and she storms out of the room usually with the comment that she is so busy with other things and that I'm "too difficult to deal with". After that, she gives me silent treatment until I approach her eventually. Which I won't, this time. I am honestly sick of this. As you can imagine, this hurts to no end. I don't know how to deal with her. I can't move, it's not that simple. I'm still in college. And besides that, I try so hard to maintain good relations with her, I help around the house, surprise her with meals, clean etc... And still, she has this toxic careless attitude towards me.

@Albert Roiterstein Wow, thanks for recommendation, didn't know about him!

That's so awesome... You got it all figured out so young. How did you manage to find someone not toxic at such a young age? I would imagine younger person carry so many problems from childhood and they are too immature to become conscious of it and work on it and plus most young people don't know what they are doing. Do you think it was luck for you? Or you think you manifested your desired spouse How can beliefs be changed, to prevent it from repeating in future relationships? Can LOA help with it? Dreamboard? (btw I made Holon dreamboard a while ago). That's interesting to know... Damn but I absolutely love my freedom. Can i still have freedom even with kids? Maybe, probably... Most likely. I don't know whether I want to be a mom or not yet. Seems chaotic to me. But I'm judging it from my experience. Maybe it can be beautiful, non toxic thing.

We weren't talking about her silent treatment but about her invalidating and minimizing everything I say and how hurtful it is. I might try to tell her about silent treatment and how I won't tolerate it. I hope she listens and it gets registered into her mind. I don't expect her to dig deeper into her childhood. Only miracle should happen. No.. You might be very right... That's very interesting. I think she would consider it defeat for her already-fragile-ego if she approaches me first after a fight. I will try to talk to her once I calm down and don't hold negative energy in me.