somegirl

I don't want to be financially dependent on a guy. I have seen women not leaving toxic relationships or relationships where they weren't happy because they couldn't live on their own. They were dependent on a guy to take care of them. I don't want that. If some people think that is too masculine, to make an income on my own, I really don't agree with it.

I see, might be. What do you think men value, basides beauty? I mean.. I get spitirual stuff might be a bit of a stretch to ask for in a guy, but other things? Being understanding and considerate? Eloquent and ambitious? If that's so rare and/or too much to ask for, I don't know if this whole thing is for me. lol You sound like a high quality guy. What do you value in a girl? So true so true. I agree that it can manifest physically, on their faces etc. "But until you learn deal with your trauma, you may be walking around with a vibe/energy that is instinctually repulsing the kinds of men you want." This makes perfect sense. This is why I was wondering how to heal it. Everyone is talking about us needing to find limiting beliefs, but noone is saying what to do with it once you find it. I don't think I had a terrible childhood. But there were some things that happened in my teenage years that left me with some kind of bitterness/trauma. "I'd say a good place to start would be find a therapist/coach who embodies divine feminine qualities, or at the very least is in a relationship with the kind of men you would want. You can learn from her how/why she was able to attract the kind of man she was able to get." Good advice. Thanks. Will see about therapists though, if it is covered by my insurance lol.

Mhm, got it. Have some of those, but not all of them. For example, I'm not too friendly with strangers right off the bat. Though I also think it's a good thing because you don't want to be nice to any kind of guy, especially not nice towards ones you want to leave you alone. Also won't be submissive if I don't agree with him on something. Generally drama free if he treats me right (by that I mean like a human being with their own set of needs/wishes/aspirstions in life). "Not showing how I can be more masculine than him", do you mean me having my own thing (career) in life is showing him that I'm more masculine than him? Who said I'm beyond anything because of degree (that I didn't get yet)? Even though I will learn to cook and will be cleaning and doing all that stuff once we live togethee, I honestly expect our house chores to get split cause I won't be a house wife. I will also have a career, as well as him, so it would only be unfair that I do all of the work around the house while he doesn't. As for 2% of guys being interested in spirituaily, I get that, you're right there are a lot less guys interested in thoss kind of stuff than girls... Though I at least hope he would be more open to meditation, at least. Because being open to new ideas show that he will be open to more radical stuff later on. High value for me... Guy who has his own thing going on in his life and is successful at it, and loves doing what he's doing... Masculine, takes good care of himself, respects his mother, funny but knows when to be serious, understanding, open-minded. Listens to my needs. Really cares to make me comfortable and well taken care of. Treats me like a lady. Doesn't pressure me into anything. Non-needy. Has his own social circle... Etc.

Do you not want a life partner as well? Don't we all? Pretty comfortable being on my own, believe me, but I want to make this life a little more interesting. Share it with someone. Looking for specific kind of guy cause I don't want to make a hell out of my life. Hearing all kinds of stories about bad marriages/relationships all the time. About abuse, constant arguments, and plus when you add kids into that mix, then life becomes a hell on earth. No thanks.

@NoSelfSelf What do you mean? Doesn't being funny bring joyful, lighthearted atmosphere in our relationship? Doesn't knowing what I want out of life career-wise indicate what type of person I am? Doesn't being open-minded bring some kind of non-judgmental attitude I offer? What should a girl offer to a guy, in your opinion, besides looks? If looks is all girls should offer, I strongly disagree with it.

How is there asymmetry? Not all of them. I have started this process a while ago. Though even when I uncover hidden core limiting beliefs of mine, what do I do with it? How do I change it?

@Leo Gura Got it. Thanks. It's true that you can pretty much meet amazing people anywhere. Just gotta somehow attract them. Lots of things have to match up. I tried online dating before and I absolutely hated it. I don't know how much I am open for it again. Even though it's more convinient and easy, guys online are something different lol. Most of them were not the ones I find attractive at all, and some of them were just simply behaving creepy when I was open enough to go out with them and meet them face-to-face. This is through instagram. I even once installed Tinder out of curiosity and went out with two guys from there and yeah, they were not serious.

@Raphael Omg the guy I've been waiting for, DM me!

@Leo Gura Makes sense, lately all the friends I made were girls. Though honestly, I don't see people in my life that met a lot of guys and then found the one. It usually kind od happens on a first/second try for them. Besides that, where do you think high quality people are hiding? I hoped university would be the best place to meet such people but Corona had other plans. Might join some social organisations for young people if anything.

@Jacob Morres I have to find him physically attractive, max 5 years older than me, has to be a student or if he is not then he has to be doing something in his life that brings him joy or is at least ambitious, eloquent, good communicator, understanding and considerate, funny but knows when to be serious, open-minded to deep spiritual topics. Because only when he's open minded, can we do self-development together.

Tf...

If you have trouble with eye contact, try saying inside your mind (as if you're talking to her) something self-comforting ("I am handsome, that's why you're looking at me"). Don't say it out loud, just think it while holding eye contact. Or think of someone you find attractive while holding eye contact. I used to think of a crush while my friend was taking photos of me and I always managed to create that attractive/sexy eye contact with camera. It works.

A joke so unfunny and stupid that it becomes funny.

@Yulduz I can relate to you in a way that you have a hard time setting boundaries and being afraid not to upset a guy for having your needs. You have to work on that. It's so important to feel comfortable expressing yourself freely. This guy is done. He wants to make you his world which is not a trait in a guy you're looking for. Nor is it a healthy one. He isn't grounded by himself and needs someone else to fulfill him. My ex was like that, and I felt also uncomfortable as you do now. It's extremely bad to put that kind of pressure on anyone. Noone is responsible for their happiness, only they are. So don't believe this bs. You can just be open and write everything that is on your mind. That should be enough. After that just block him and enjoy your amazing life.

Yeah, still having problems loading the page on the phone. Less so on the computer, but it's still bad.

@Emotionalmosquito exactly. I think it's so hard for us to understand because we're naturally biased. We like pleasure over pain. Whereas (and I didn't have direct experience of God) God loves everything equally.

@mandyjw Oh, my misunderstanding. All good!

@Roy Good one

@mandyjw Aha. Well, no need for those type of reactions, I didn't know. I just sometimes see some people just repeating what Leo is saying, and it makes me think they don't actually believe it, they just adopt what he's saying. That's all. Thanks. @Arcangelo I see. Sorry! The same answer could be applied here as well.

@mandyjw ?

@Arcangelo you're just parroting Leo's words, without you actually experiencing it. I wanna know from your point of view what is true. Not what someone else would say.

I don't know who in their right mind would want to experience that. Or wished to experience that.

@PurpleTree Imagine being in a position where you can control basically anything and anyone and you don't use that opportunity to make millions with little to no effort? Why grind and suffer in life when you can make your life be on easy-mode? Only a person with strong and high integrity and high consciousness wouldn't abuse their position. Which is basically not so many people. And plus such people wouldn't even want to be politicians in the first place.

I would have been more shocked if politicians didn't make 100s of millions of dollars. That would have been news.

It would've been weird if this wasn't true. I don't get why people are surprised. People are selfish. Anyone in their place would abuse their position of power to their benefit. With as little effort as they can possibly get away with. Come on...