somegirl

@Roy Well, so far I have always been the one who broke up with others. So I don't know how it is to be broken up with. The closest I've got to be broken up with is "get fired" from on organization I was in. It felt like a break up. And while I wanted it to happen in some sense, and I felt relieved to leave, I noticed that my ego was a bit bruised. Ego felt slightly offended, even though I wanted to leave, myself. But I didn't spend too much time thinking about it, it was a subtle feeling of "You're dumping ME? THE AUDACITY". So this is why I think my ego would probably do the same, just on a bigger scale, in a relationship. Though I'm not sure.

I mean, you can even find "intellectual" stuff in there too. You can find profiles that only post stuff you are interested in. But it has become dating site, yeah. It's super superficial. But that's how it is. You have to choose if you're okay with that. I don't even think the dating part is a negative. It's just how things have developed over time, whereas before people only had possibility to meet others face to face and didn't even have ability to see people outside their country. So this is an amazing new stuff we are able to do. -- I didn't really understand your last paragraph and what happened there, but whatever happened, I don't believe it has anything to do with Instagram.

@Someone here Well I think you should be able to find girls who have went through medical procedures to get a real penis. Some girls are into that and don't find it strange. So don't worry. Embrace who you are and what you like (as long as it's not hurting anyone ?)!

I guess you just like girls with penises. That's your sexual preference. I mean, I would have told you that you finding pussy gross has to do with you being a virgin, but then you also mentioned dicks turn you on so that kinda tells me you're just attracted to girls with dicks. Since you explicitly said you're not gay and wouldn't have sex with guys (If I remembered it right). Except I wouldn't know how that would function. So you want to have sex with girls (since you're not gay) but not "typical" girls with their genitalia but you want to have sex with girls with dicks, which means only anal sex is possible in that case. And I assume you can find those kind of girls. There are out there. And don't worry, there's all kinds of people in this world. This is not weird. Everyone has things that turn them on. It's important to experiment and see what you like. P.S. Pussy is not a passive hole, it has many functions and I guess you meant that as in "it only receives dick" but let's not reduce pussy to just that. There's many aspects of it, that's not her only function.

@sleep I can relate to you as I also have weak, airy voice and not strong volume. My voice is weird and not girly at all. I have love/hate relationship with it lol. People sometimes have trouble hearing me the first time I say something. I have been to clubs and parties with loud music and all... I was speaking very loudly, and I can manage to get people to hear me, but it takes such an effort man. My throat... ? Though I know I'm able to have loud voice because I was screaming as an teenager all the time arguing with everything and everyone. Thought that would help me "train my voice" to become stronger but it didn't. I think it might have became weaker. So I don't know will it always be this way for us. For example I can think of people like Miley Cyrus and her strong, vibrating voice. I bet she can whisper and still be heard very clearly. She always had strong voice but her voice became significantly deeper when she started smoking weed. So... I guess there's that.

✅ I want to be able to feel that anything I wish is possible in this life. I really want this. I want more control. It doesn't feel too encouraging when I notice that things I want don't become tangible reality. It's like... I keep wanting things that don't happen. What's the point in me wanting things? Why is there even such thing in life when I don't see the results? To keep wanting them? I don't believe that's the case. I mean, it's not like nothing I ever wanted didn't become reality but it's like... It's kinda random. I don't know how I do it. And I want to find out how I do it. How it functions.

I want to grasp this reality. Find out how things function. I want to be able to control my life and what happens in it a little more. Otherwise I just feel unhappy. Like everything is so random. I find it frustrating when I see that I can't influence my life and reality. ✅ I want universe to show me evidence that I can influence what happens to me.

@something_else Thanks for being his advocate. ? I understood what @Knowledge Hoarder differently, which is why I commented. This was what I found interesting and kind of unreasonable. But whatever.

Sure it's not, it's just that I found funny that someone would suggest that you should move on to another girl if the first girl is not willing to have sex even after a first date. A bit much, no? A girl is not playing games when they are taking time to decide if it's smart to sleep with a guy so soon (of course some play games). It's just that a girl functions differently than a guy. It's more riskier for a girl to sleep with a wrong guy. This is why girls are picky. We have more things at stake. I agree with this. I was just talking about people suggesting that one should move on if they're not getting laid after the first date.

Yeah, if you think about it, he should sleep with a girl the moment he sees her, no questions asked. Waiting to go on dates and get to know her is such a hassle. Besides, a girl is just a means to an end (sex), her personality doesn't even matter. That's such an irrational thought that your mind is playing on you. You won't sleep with 40,000 most likely, and they WON'T go to the same place at the same time as you. That's so freaking unlikely. This is just your mind playing games on you and rationalizing why you shouldn't go out and talk to girls.

I knew someone would write this... ?

Oh dear.. You have to select wisely where do you get your infos. Twitter and Reddit are not places where you get good advices. Sad people live there lol. Every time I posted my relationship problem on Reddit, I got advice that I should break up immediately and how he is such a red flag, worst person ever lol. People who are truly in a happy and fullfilled relationship where everything works out for them do not write like that. Heck, they are not even on those sites. Again, you have to choose where you get this infos from and who says them. Those "I'm too good for you" with never ending list of criteria for guys usually aren't happy individuals and can't manage to get into a healthy relationship ever. We'll see. Yeah, got you. Sorryyy, not my intention! I know he's not invested in me at this moment. I will see how he will behave once we meet each other in real life. If he doesn't message me consistently after that, then all will be understood.

Of course. Why would you feel ashamed of your sexual nature? Noone is telling you to be ashamed by that, it's even encouraged for guys, moreso than girls. Well... I don't know what info sources you consume, but you should ignore such media and people that suggest "approaching is bad" "sex is bad" etc. Cause it's not true at all lol. Maybe those are your limiting beliefs you adopted from god knows where. And therefore you label those things as "bad", subconsciously, and also subconsciously pushing it away from you. I actually find it extremely attracting when I guy embraces those things you said above, take the lead etc... That's what a man is supposed to do, in my opinion. Luckily the world is not so black and white and you don't have to choose between those two options. What did I do to make you believe "I let my guard down"? So what if he messaged me? ? How is he going to meet someone if he doesn't talk to them beforehand? If we were going to meet in person we would need to talk beforehand, given we don't live in the same town. And well, I would consider myself attractive. He messaged me probably because he found me interesting too. And I can't judge him that he's messaged me "only because of my looks" because that's everything he can possibly know about me anyway. Instagram is that kind of social media - a bit superficial at first. I think he just found me attractive based on the images, and decided to message me. Because that's all he knows about me. It all starts from looks even in real life, that's the first thing you see. You approach someone because you find them attractive, and then find out how they are as a person after talking to them. Well that part is not correct. We had that one brief conversation and that was the end of our interaction. He didn't "left me on seen" or anything like that. I don't know what his intentions are but it's kinda funny that some people assume that he's not being a serious guy when all he did was be kinda famous and message a girl he found interesting on social app.

I also wonder about this.

Okay, I hear you, I actually understand what you're saying and can empathize with this issue you guys are having. Having to balance between being a decent human being and being a jerk (which seemingly gets more results and sex) This all actually reminded me of one friend I have. And I also wonder how he feels. I can imagine he's not happy romantically/sexually and is frustrated and probably wonders what he's doing wrong. All his life he's been surrounded with girls (friends) but noone actually wanted to date him (and it's not because he's ugly, he's actually pretty handsome) but because he's being "a nice guy". I understand that. I can imagine him sexually frustrated and kinda bitter, deep down. Okay so having this in mind, what you're suggesting would be an alternative? How would you want to change this - to swing to the other side of the pendulum and be a "bad guy" like other guys you mentioned? And how would you feel being this way (if you decide to take that path)? How would you feel leaving girls heartbroken left and right? Would that fullfill you? Lol. I'm glad I have secret fans following everything I write. ? Since you mentioned, what the heck was wrong with me finding that guy interesting? ? Do you get messages from mini celebrities every day? ? And also, who is to say he is an f boy? Just because he has followers and is kinda popular, that automatically means he's not a good and loyal potential partner and messages girls left and right? Let me see how he is and decide from there. ?

✅ I want him to sjow me again that he's interested in me.

Lool, true true. ?

Wow, this was beautiful to read :') Can resonate with some of your wishes, you gave me an idea for my wishlist. Thanks.

This one guy, a bf of my close friend from university, is so so freaking similar to me. The way he talks, thinks, mannerisms, the goodness of his heart, innocent, lack of hated in his heart... I think this is how I am too. Or how I seem to other people. He is literally me in male form. It's interesting because I am looking at him and I'm thinking "So this is how others see me" At least this was how I used to be, but I'm slowly coming back to being this version of me. Along the way, some things have happened that left me feeling hurt/bitter/filled with hate. I don't want to be like this and I think I have already written about it in this journal. I'm slowly working on becoming a version of myself I would love to be. I am already behaving AS IF I am already that person. Just like S. Full of positivity, lacks ability to hate (but also stands up for myself when needed), just love, pureness of heart... Radiating positive and light energy.

I see. If this was literally how it was, then I would never want to engage in such thing. But the thing is, I know about an example where I guy would have casual sex regularly with a girl with no strings attached, but treated her with care all along. And still, no relationship have come out of it. They kept it casual because both of them didn't want commitment, just sex. I see. I just think it wouldn't hurt a person if you ask them. They wouldn't get mad/offended or anything like that. It's just... "Hey, you're human, just wanna make sure you're not hurt or something happened that I didn't know. Oh okay, bye" I don't know, it that unrealistic?

This is interesting comparison. So in order to have casual sex with someone, someone would have to deny and surpress "human side" of them and eveything that comes with it (empathy, care, compassion). Don't you agree that that would be bad for someone's soul and spirit, in the long run? Where's the joy in that when someone has to pretend to be cold and emotionless?

I disagree. Why would that be a given? If you ask a person how they are after sex, it just shows you are decent human being. It doesn't mean that you want a relationship with them just because you show basic care for other human being.

I truly believe it is harmful if you treat that person as an object afterwards (meaning, you guys don't talk after spending the night together, you don't check up on her/him afterwards, ask how they are etc). It doesn't matter that you guys are not officially in relationship, that doesn't mean you can treat them as a rug and like they don't have emotions. It's basic human decency to ask about them after just having casual sex with them.

What do you mean? What he should have done in these circumstances he described in his original post? Jump on those girls? Lol The fact is that things didn't align with him yet. He's behaving respectfully towards girls, as he should. He's not being "overly nice", just normal. I guess he could even get girls he wants to only if he tries a little harder.

Damn. If that really is true, I just don't understand that. I still think most of the girls wouldn't be okay with that. There are some exceptions obviously, which you stated. But it's true, just because I think I wouldn't do something as a girl, doesn't think other girls wouldn't do that too.