somegirl

Ohh so what... I was rejected as well, big deal. Of course it hurts but come on, let's not lose hope immediately. ? One does not lose hope in the face of couple of failures.

I think I want both.

How can you know that? I don't have a big picture like an animal? Sure, I don't, but how do you know an animal does? Have you had direct experience of it? Of God and the structure of reality? Agree. Well, again, God created us this way. They knew what will happen. So the religious judging a person just because it behaves like a person is ridiculous to me. I have never been religious, but I was confused with the karma thing because Leo mentioned it couple of times, and I know he is not in Stage Blue... Karma is something that is mentioned among religious people, not Stage Yellow and above people.

✅Whoever I'm interested in wants to commit to me.

✅ I want a guy with amazing energy and aura around him. A guy who is social and makes friends with people easily, but know who his priority is (me). A guy who chooses me in a room full of people. ✅ I want a guy who is positive to be around. I feel delightful after an interaction with him.

@egoeimai no problem. Though he has no right to get pissed at you just because you don't reciprocate romantic feelings. That would be such a bad look. And if he doesn't appreciate you as a person again after you telling him the truth... I mean, he should respect you more for being honest and open with him and not leading him on. If he wants to live in illusion, that's his problem ? He might be sad/frustrated inside, but he shouldn't let that out on you. If he does, that's such a red flag and you would be dodging a bullet.

@egoeimai It's hard for me to explain. It just feels different when they talk to you. You notice them giving you a bit more attention than usual. They look at you differently, they are very attentive towards you. They don't try to argue with you on anything and they agree with everything you say. They don't wanna risk offending you and are afraid to mess up in front of you. They stutter when you are present. They might be a bit nervious around you too and pretend they don't want to sit beside you for example, but inside they are just too nervious.

How do you know what OP is like? When we first meet a person, we usually give them a benefit of the doubt. Maybe she really was viewing him as a friend and honestly didn't see that he was developing feelings for him. Me personally, I am very sensitive to these stuff and I can easily see when someone is developing feelings, but some people focus on different thing and might miss an obvious clue. Don't assume that others have bad and calculated intentions immediately. ? Watch out for projections ?

You would have to get out of that fear and tell him. You will have tons of situations in life where you would need to do the uncomfortable thing. I get your nervousness. However he already confessed his love for you and put you in a position where now it's your turn to tell him how you honestly feel. Tell him about the age gap and what you told us here. Just be kind, don't be harsh. About the friendship part... I think it would not be possible from now on, given he has already developed feelings. Or if you do manage to stay in friendship with him, you know it will be fake and awkward because you know how he honestly feels about you. However it is interesting to me that you're friends with 17 years older guy. Wonder what common topics one can have with that much older person.

The Yellow perspective: This is good ? I see, thanks for clarification. I was just confused because Leo mentioned it couple of times as a consequence of being selfish, and it didn't make sense that God would punish you for something, even if you're selfish, if God loves everything. And yes, it sounded very christian. But I guess I was interpreting karma the wrong way.

I have always equated it with something bad/negative. Like universe is out to get you if you're doing selfish stuff, and you will pay for it sooner or later (abortion for example). I don't remember clearly but one time I was reading about someones miserable life experience and someone commented "It's probably a built up karma from past life." And I'm like... Damn, is that really how it works? Someone's making a note and keeping it and dragging it even in your "next life" (if it exists)? ?

@Arthogaan lol. God loves everything they see, I can imagine that being their face when looking at us lol.

Isn't there such thing as karma? There is a price to pay when someone's being too selfish. I think Leo also mentioned karma a couple of times. Beautiful advice. ? Because it is allowed, that's interesting. So some people simply do not allow themselves to experience things they say they want? And btw, if I may ask, are you saying this because you yourself realized God? (aka had direct experience of it)

But God is Pikachu too.

EVERYTHING comes from within. How you feel, you radiate, it's true. You may not notice that your body language has changed, but it does change subtly, but also, your aura and energy changes. People pick up on that. Happened to me 2545641 times, so I can confirm this is so true.

It's not wise to not say something sometimes. And it's wise to say something even if it leads to conflict other times. You have to evaluate situation and decide when is the good time to stand up for youself and what you have to say. You can't avoid conflict at all costs, as you could see, it's hurting you personally sometimes. I guess you can say stuff in a considerate way? And in a way that won't make the other person so triggered or defensive if you care so much not to get into any conflict. This is an art of communication... Saying something that bothers you so you get your point across, but at the same time letting them know CLEARLY that you won't tolerate such behaviour and that they should stop. Sometimes people don't get it so you would have to get on another level for them to get you. It depends really on a situation and a person you're talking to. Some people don't get nice words. So you have to raise your tone a bit. Sometimes someone immediately gets the point.

I agree, but why are we then called selfish for using our human abilities we are given in the first place?

Yeah but I often hear Leo say "Everything is God, you're just too selfish to see/too this and that to see." And I'm like... But God created us this way (or we created ourselves to be this way) so I don't know why now it's our fault that we are this way. We were created with ego. We were created to experience this life in human form and to want things. So now when we use that ability that is given to us, we're almost judged for "being selfish". Of course we can strive for more spiritual things, which we are, given we're on this forum, but wanting "material stuff" is literally the reason we are alive in human form today. We cannot live without food, social acceptance, sex, love etc. Yeah but I still want that tropical island even though it will get boring. lol I mean... If that's selfish then I don't know what isn't. Why is there such a thing created if I'm gonna be judged to be wanting such "material stuff". We are created as human beings that are able to wish for things. And then when we wish for something, someone is like "Oh no no, that's selfish". Well, then let me be selfish because all humans have ego. Why create ego if you're gonna judge it. This is why this meme is good representation of that. It's like... You create a being and give it certain abilities, and then get surprised when that being uses those abilities. Then why the heck give it in the first place if it's bad or if it's "creating karma". Doesn't make sense.

@SamC Out of concern or because they are jelaous. My friends never did this to me, unless I told them I don't like the guy and would want them to intervene. But otherwise they just let me be free and make my own choices with a guy.

@RendHeaven Thanks, though... it's so hard to forgive myself when I made a person who cares for me and tries so hard to make things good, feel like a punching bag. For making this person feel guilty when they try so hard to make everything right. I should be ashamed of myself. What an ugrateful idiot I am. --- Now I also see why it's crucial to forgive people. I see why my ex wanted my forgiveness and how badly it feels when someone refuses to. May I forgive myself and everyone and may everyone forgive me.

Well this was an absolutely horrible day. Feel so bad that I was behaving bad. Ironically, I actually set the intention that "This was gonna be the best day so far". And complete opposite happened. So... Is this all a hoax? I am on my period and my stomach hurts all day, including right now as I'm writing. Absolutely horrible day. I don't usually (thank God) have these kind of period cramps, but this was something else... Felt like I was about to vomit at one point. Felt grumpy and moody all day. All day. Felt tired, felt on edge to fight, was in pain... Was hungry... And it all escalated when I couldn't get my hunger satisfied. I came back home and ate food that didn't satisfy my hunger, and I let it all out on one person. I feel horrible and emotional right now and I feel awful that I have to go outside my house tomorrow because I feel I am not safe around people, because I feel the way I feel. I am an absolute mess, inside and outside. I need to apologize. I just hate myself that I was behaving in a way I did. I made so much progress in that department only to go back to 0. I hope God and universe and this person forgive me. I am horrible. I'm so emotional and grumpy because everything hurts. My stomach hurts and negative stuff go through my mind. I hate it. I hate that universe made girls go through this. It's fucking unfair. I don't want to be under influence of period. I was not under influence of it up until recently. i don't know what's happening to me. I want this cramps to freaking stop. It's been one whole freaking day.

I heard two guys talking about me when I passed by them. One of then said "So you like this girl who walked pass us?" ?

I think it's concerning and a cowardly move to avoid telling someone the truth (that you want to break up), and to wish to be on a receiving end of it so you can avoid looking like the bad person and face uncomfortable feelings. Super cowardly. Yes, it's uncomfortable thing to do, but wanting to be broken up with because you are too afraid to tell someone the truth, and to avoid taking responsibility, is bad. It doesn't contribute to your development as a person, you're just running away from things you need to face.

So the moment you don't understand someone, then he's a cult leader. Seems... reason...able... I agree with what others are saying. Maybe take a break (as he suggested in a video too btw). Do normal human stuff and then maybe come back to doing the work, when and if you are ready for it, and then maybe you will meet Leo where he's at. It doesn't make sense to me either. But it's because I'm not there yet. And that's fine. Let's not demonize people we are not able to understand (yet). From human POV, even saying that you are God also doesn't make much sense, but yet, it is seemingly true (I have not reaced such state). So... Yeah... My point was, let's not be so quick to jump into demonization of something we are not able to understand from our current state of consciousness. I would keep an open mind. Besides that, when something doesn't feel good, consider that it might not be true. Or you're looking at it the wrong way (which he also said in a video, someone correct me if I'm wrong).