ColeMC01

As a guy i am supposed to "approach" and "hunt" and "get" girls. I hate this role a lot. I really like the idea of girls doing the work and me just having to pick the one i prefer. This is really negative if you want to be successful with girls because unfortunately girls do not approach and the guy has to do all the work until he sleeps with her. I have some friends who get girls interested in them without them having to do shit but it is not reliable and unfortunately i am not good looking or naturally charismatic enough for that to be the case. I would like you guys to give me some new mindsets or paradigms to look at this so i feel empowered and grateful to be the hunter. I know this post sounds quite sad but it is causing me unhappiness and struggles. Why do you guys think this is happening? I love myself and i consider myself a great guy, i have decent self esteem and am relatively social and likable person. Would really appreciate your help and advice This post is not my complaining about being a guy or being a victim, i am aware of my problem and would appreciate some advice or guidance. Thank you very much for all the help and support.

@Preety_India I am more feminine in this way because i want that. @Girzo Already been doing meditation and gym for a while now.

@Leo Gura How did you motivate yourself to approach 450 girls until your first success and still go strong and going. If you had my mindset you would not have made it that far, what did you tell yourself to do it?

@Preety_India Girls and guys hunt and get hunted equally. Hunting and being hunted and gender are independent variables. The main thing is not what i want it to be. Reality is like this and i cannot change them. I am asking for advice and help in how to frame the idea of hunting in a positive, empowering way. So some new mindsets and new paradigms

@RendHeaven Any way to frame it in a positive empowering way? So you actually WANT to approach and hunt and feel great about it. It is not just about approaching, the whole thing where you do ALL until you sleep together. Hunting goes a long way even after approaching.

@Leo Gura It is not about being lazy. I am wiling to do the work and improve myself, i just do not like the idea of hunting. If i would get girls hunting me IF i did x y z things then i would be happy with that. I do not expect things for free, i expect things to come once you work for it. But i do not like the kind of work where you have to hunt. Imagine you are born in a society that determines your job since young, you do not like the job that is given to you and now is forced to deal with it. I am asking for advice on how to frame it in an empowering way so it feels motivating and inspiring. Calling me a devil will not motivate me to become a better man. Ps: we re all devils inside hehe

@Bando The issue is that if you are not a high quality guy then those girls you really like will not like you because of the competition.Valuable girls are like high paying jobs, they get filled fast. You need to become a high quality guy first. The " i will screen" until i find right girl for me will leave you single if you do not have a lot to offer in a language that girls like. Unfortunately being self actualized person or wise is not a language she likes

@intotheblack Thank you, i do workout regularly and am considered decent looking by most of society (although short) however ofc i do not look like a model so i will not have girls throwing themselves at me. I do take care of myself though so nothing to improve there honestly.

@Leo Gura I have a question. If extroversion is more biologically attractive for females than how come guys have evolved in a way for introverts to be a thing. If introverts are not desirable for a girl attraction wise then they would have been wiped out or not even evolve to a thing at the first place. I think what females desire in a man is strength and that can be even if you are not extroverted. Strength is what allows you to protect, defend and dominate. Extroversion can help with that since we are a social species but at the core it is strength that they desire the most. Correct me if i am wrong. I have seen more laid back, chill and relaxed kind of guys with introverted vibes be very successful with girls naturally. Do not confuse introversion with being shy, socially awkward or boring.

@Leo Gura That also works for in person also. If a girl finds you unattractive then even with good game you cannot really get her. That is why the term "numbers game" comes from. If it was just game then good players would have a 100 percent attraction rate for single girls (not closing as closing has a lot of logistics in it) and in reality it is not 100 percent. The difference is getting turned down by looks. If a girl sees you as unattractive you cannot get her unless you get very lucky. You do not need to be attractive, just average in her eyes.

That is because white people are considered more attractive and have higher status in Asia. That is why a lot of people say going on those areas will get you laid easily. Watch the video if the results from online dating are not good for you. And do not just use tinder, use all of them at once. Cast a huge net. 1 date a week is more than you will have time for anyway given that you have a life already

@Leo Gura That is very true. However the same can be said about a lot of things. You can say the same for RSD for example yet it still works for the most part. Online dating and game both require some level of effort. You say that being good looking makes online dating very easy and that is true. However the same can be said about game also. A model looking guy will not even need game as he can easily fuck girls as long as he is not a complete loser whimp and actually talks to them. So freebies exist for both. You can say that online dating is less dependent on effort and more on just looks, which is very true. However saying "If you don't look like a model you cannot get shit even with effort" it kind of reminds me of incels and the blackpill claiming "its over if you are not Chad"

@Leo Gura There are wayy too many pick up stuff on youtube so in any case the devilry would have been fed pretty well. The thing is that girls love a douche bag more so of course horny devils that were ignored all their lives by women will be tempted to act more like that. It is fucked but this whole thing is selfish and fucked anyway. You are asking a hungry stray dog to behave properly, he will bite your hand in hopes of some food.

As you guys can clearly see effort does make a difference in online game results. So stop being lazy and take some good pictures

@Leo Gura Not being a pussy and making moves is like 80% of pickup. Being social in itself will just give you a shit lot of friend-zones unless you are handsome or natural at game. @longusername12345 All the parties you go to and hot girls you talk with wont mean SHIT unless you make some moves on them. Coming from personal experience here. No moves= no sex

I really enjoyed reading this, it is very very similar to how i would act in your situation. Leo's advice is really good even very difficult to implement if you are not that kind of personality. Overall i find your story and behavior extremely relatable haha. Would love to hear the updates of your journey.

@Leo Gura That is like saying become a millionaire or something. It takes at least 5 years to do for most people so it is not a realistic option. Most people cannot afford to put their career on hold for 2 years and only do pick up. 1000 would be a more realistic number. If you have good teachers and not RSD garbage then you can become good with 1000 approaches. John Anthony Lifestyle or The Natural Lifestyles programs should be enough to make 1000 approaches all the investment you need.

@Leo Gura How do you manage to do that? For it is very easy for a girl to enjoy my presence but she is not excited to meet me. It is more like comparing the excitement you get from a good book compared to a over the top action movie. I tend to be more the first case, so enjoyable but no real excitement.

@Preety_India Highly agree, people should be upfront with their intent. This takes a lot of balls that guys these days lack. That is why they are so obtuse about that they want. Also a lot of pure selfishness of course. The thing is that most guys just care about sex since that is their primal agenda, they are willing to do anything to fulfill their agenda. That is why i said that conflicting agendas create issues. Whenever a guy fulfills his agenda doing things our society calls unethical then yeah people will be hurt. More conscious people tend to get laid less for this good reason, because it is harder. Just like business, clean ethical business is less profitable and harder than selfish ruthless business. Most guys are starving businesses that are willing to do anything it takes to make some money, they are not developed enough to understand the issues. Or just bad character. If a guy wants to be a developed conscious and "good" human being he will be laid less. The quality of the girl will also be lower. Quantity over quality here. That is the male agenda. The female agenda wants quality over quantity. So we are stuck in sex wars. It fucking sucks for girls this part of dating and i am very sorry. Personally i would never do that shit to a girl but i cannot expect most guys to be like me. Most guys laugh at you if you show them a basic self help book let alone doing deep conscious work. My advice for you is to try to find highly conscious people to date and try to see for red flags. On the positive side being highly conscious makes you less "traditionally attractive" to females since you will be less assertive, dominant and less of a dick in general which is what girls tend to like. So you will have less competition for these guys. The most "traditionally attractive guys" personality wise tend to be not conscious that much. Look at most of RSD and shit like that. Yeah some of them are both "traditionally attractive" and highly developed 'stage green or higher" but those guys are too few to even bother talking about. So in this way you will not have a lot of competition anyway, at least i think so.

Personally no but it is a beautiful thing indeed. If you enjoy it then i am very happy for you

@Preety_India Men these days are very very weak due to the high level of comfort and "embracing the feminine". Do not get me wrong i do think men should integrate both masculine and feminine, however most men these days embrace the feminine in a horrible way. Instead of making themselves more expressive, empathetic, caring and intuitive they just become over emotional cry babies that give up as soon as things get a bit hard. It is part of cultural evolution, the high price of comfort and gender integration is a period of confused weak men. I am sure in the future this integration from ruthless masculinity to a more soft integrated masculinity will end positively but right now we are in the middle of it. It is like living in a house that is being renovated inside out, it is not that nice hehe. I guess self help is trying to make men stronger, with higher self esteem and more confident and responsible but yeah it takes time. Also you need to take into account that these days most men do not want to commit to a marriage or something before mid 30s. Men tend to have a longer shelf life and reach their sexual peak around 30-35 while females reach it around 25. Therefore this also creates conflicting agendas. Men also tend to be more wired for sexual variety so they feel like they need to bang a lot of girls before settling down, and even then they will get bored after a while. This is the case especially for the most attractive men that females that want stability want to lock down the most. A shy nerd will probably be okay settling fast but girls dont want him. They want the strong guy that wants sexual variety . Wanting sexual variety has nothing to do with being immature or childlike. It is typical male behavior. Just like females want strong monogamy. There is no good or bad here. Responsible strong men will just break up or dump someone instead of cheating or lying, but they will leave the girl nonetheless. Just like the girl will leave the weak guy for someone stronger. It goes both ways. Both genders can be cruel, manipulative and ruthless. It is just done in different ways. I do not want to go into statistics about who cheats more but the genders have different agendas that conflict. That is all there is to it. No agenda is superior or better or more right. They just are.

@Eren Eeager No. I am turned by what i wrote above

@Leo Gura I am also not turned on by seeing a vagina but i am if i see tits ass cute face nice toned body etc I do not think most guys get hard if they see a picture of a vagina in itself. Roast me if i am wrong

@Leo Gura How is it stage blue when wealth is the pinnacle of stage orange.

@neutralempty I did not understand your message