Dario1995

@Nahm actually, when you say it like that, no, i cant let go that easy. Maybe i need to work on that, not be so serious

@TripleFly Im not afraid of the experience. Im not gonna try change it, just be aware of it and move on. This monkey mind is more and more drowning in the conciusness, and it is trying to be important as it was. @Demeter Yes, it is familiar to me, that desire to be enlightened. I did not read it. Actually i do not read so much spiritual books, because my opinion is that truth should be simple, avaliable for everyone, every moment? Not that i am saying that one should not read spiritual books. It can guide you, i agree.

@Demeter Yes, i did, until a month ago, when i completely gave up myself to self inquiry. It seems to me that i need some grounding. In a week i am starting at a new job, which is far more serious than what i am doing currently, in sense of free time, and mind occupying. ( i am a civil engineer). But every time i try do enjoy something, thought immediatly apperas : hmm, who is enjoying this? Who is aware of that thought? Et cetera. I did now, it makes sense. What i learned is that depression often( not always) means "work in progress". You know, my frustration lies in spontaneous enlightenment stories ( Eckhart for example). It is like, i want that ?. Maybe i need to mention, before this phase, i was crying like 4,5 times a day, not from sadness, but from increased sensitivity I experienced. Thank You so much for this reply. And i like to chat, therefore long posts. Much Love -Dario-