Dario1995

@inFlow Took a 4km walk after that "burning" feeling, felt reborn! Thanks

@VincentArogya Thats true. @inFlow I know, i didnt write : "i want do die" from Ones perspective. But this transformation right now is insane. It is like switching light on and off all the time. And when its off, sense of separation is so big, im burning. Literally I go from total Peace to total depression and suicidal thoughts. But i know this is necessary, cold showers, grounding and meditation will do its miracles. Thanks for advice <3

@Persipnei Went trough that one. Good thing is it is just psychological addiction, not physical like nicotine. Do not force it. When desire arises accept it, and then instead of smoking some, eat an apple, drink some water, or do some squats. This way you can "fool" your mind.

@Shin Yeah i am aware of that ? @zeroISinfinity How in the world did you know I was on toilet seat? ? @mandyjw Ordinary - family, job, friends.

@zeroISinfinity Wanted to ask you so many things Did you managed to somehow live a normal human life?

@zeroISinfinity I am typing this for an hour, because i cant express how i feel. OH MY GOD. I am imagining it all. Cant say nothing to you because there is no you, and i am typing to myself. Its retarded. This even doesnt exist. Hahahh.

@Persipnei But i feel like full enlightenment means physical death automatically. Is that the actual point of this? To prepare you for the death? Oh boy

Yes there is a lot attachment left Thanks for scaring the shit out of me ? I am kidding, i can feel this is only the beginning, and there is no end for transformation.

Yesterday while meditating, some random thought-story went on as always, and i dont know why, from its own, a thought asked myself : who are you speaking to all the time? I felt some peace, aloneness and nothing special really. But then today, while driving, same thing happened,and this time it was do awesome and profound and only thing you can call it : realization. It was so quiet because i understood I am the only one, and all of people are I am. Oneness. Only I am. I am it, I am God. And all different appereance are I am also so I am only one and alone. And I can trascend everything. Every bit of life in universe. Leo was right. Infinite, freedom,liberation. It lasted for couple of hours. Now i am experiencing ego backlash (depression, stress). From this, duality perspective it is so alone in there. And I want to die, i cant do this. Yes, it is blissfull in I am, but my life is gone. I am afraid of transcending every thing. Really. How the fuck you continue living your ordinary life while being IT, GOD, IAM, SELF? Realization was the easy part somehow... I really dont see a point. Maybe thats the ego speaking, i dont know. Im eternal anyways, who cares. I know that some of you had or has this sort of problems. Can you guide me?

All experiences are true. There are no "more true" experience. Non Duality and Duality are the same. This is bigger than duality and non duality. All searches are "traps" . Speaking with angels and demons, experiencing kundalini, suicide and morning shit in the toilet are the same. wow. I did not expect it to be like this AT ALL. Right here. Always here. wow. shit! Absolutely nothing changed. Ego death experience and experience with full ego are the same.

I cannot stop to laugh hahahahah wow mate. This is fucked up hahaha.

@SoonHei You sir, you helped a lot. Don't know how, but after reading your answers, wow. I went deeper than states, thoughts,and feelings. Then it became clear . I literraly had Buddha smile on when that "happened". Maybe I smiled for the first time in my life .

I didn't read many, but these are some good books. Power of Now Way of Liberation - Adyashanti I am that - Maharashi Nisgardatta Also, read this forum. It can open your mind . Here you can read things you didn't want to hear, which may frighten you, but it can also help you in hard times. And opening your mind plays a part in awakening.

@SoonHei That ONE is experiencing itself as the coin, isn't it. But that far i dont get. The closest i experienced is no self: just thoughts and bodily senses. They are known by itself, there isn't anyone knowing them. They are conciousness itself, so there is nothing but conciousness, and still there is ilusion of subject-object relationship. But how conciossness creates that? Its beautiful and its true

@PurpleTree sorry, didnt know you are not new to this. Maybe you should take a break, or change a tehnique. Everybody is different