The0Self

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It’s what’s I did. There was no choice though. Just kind of seemed to happen. On the other side though, it’s seen how laughable it was to pursue enlightenment. Pursuing enlightenment is synonymous with (unsuccessfully but apparently successfully) avoiding enlightenment (death), literally.

20ug max for micro 100ug min for macro

How do you know what I refer to as this? I’m literally talking about this. Yeah no one knows what (or if) it is, but the only way to appear to convey anything at all is to take an unreal position in everything, so deal with it lol. It can be called whatever you want, it doesn’t matter. In the context of this conversation, call it Now. There’s no present moment, past, or future. Only now, which again, is all there is, but no one knows what it is, how it is, or even if it is, and no one is either it or not it. Even Now is not some “thing” that is.

There is no moment. There’s only now/this.

@karkaore DP/DR differs from apparent enlightenment. With enlightenment there is only void. With DP/DR there is a terrifying glitch in the appearance wherein one is made aware of the centerlessness of what appears. In apparent enlightenment no one is there that could be made aware of anything.

Here it seems it’s basically unthinkable for loneliness to arise ??

Is there anything apparently happening that is actually happening "right" now? The end of wanting an answer to that is the end of the questioner/experiencer. What is this? IS this? This? ____? ____!

Not exactly. It means this appearance never takes form; it never becomes something that arose. And it means there's no you. ^^

Sounds about right; just hasn't gone full circle yet. God appearing as dualistic, limited-love interactions with others is itself limitless-love. In the end, even God is merely this ultimate infinite liberation appearing as God.

Even eternity is just Now appearing as eternity . Now is all there is; absolute.

Whenever some “thing” feels solid, it’s due to a hidden craving — for something else, whether that’s not-this-thing or more-of-this-thing or this-thing-in-the-future. In seeing this over and over, deconstruction becomes easier. Try it with easier “things” first such as mild unpleasant emotions or physical pain: in meditation, after an hour or so, your legs will likely hurt very much — if you become interested in the pain and try to objectify the “whole thing” with steady open heartedness and patience for a long time and really try to find all the sensations that make it up, and lean into it, eventually its solidity will fade, and if you keep going, it will fade entirely. This can be done with everything, and in my view this is the point of meditative contemplation — it reveals that everything is constructed, and in seeing this thousands of times, construction is increasingly less likely to fool you. Eventually it can be glimpsed that even consciousness is constructed. All objects depend on the way of looking at them, and the way of looking depends on the objects (empty, strange loop) and insight-objects, so nothing is actually a truly existent entity that stands on its own. Everything is empty/dependent — the degree to which this is not understood is illusion/ignorance, which is intrinsically tied to unnecessary suffering. But in a way, the only illusion/ignorance is that there is illusion/ignorance. This process can progress to deeper levels until it is seen that knowing and known arise from each other, together, timelessly — they are simply empty appearances, since one would have to exist before the other for the other to arise, which is impossible because neither can exist on its own... So nothing ever actually happens. In other words, what seems to be happening never takes form — never becomes “something that arose.” Appearances aren’t arising! They aren’t coming into existence. Appearance/everything/no-thing is utterly non-contextual. The tripod of illusion is self-thing-time — focus on deconstructing one, with steadiness, and the other 2 will lose solidity as well. When the exclusive-reality (inherent-existence) of one is fully deconstructed, that of the other 2 disappear with it.

Lol I used to get tabs that were dosed at 100, 110, and 140

^^ yep + https://www.livingsupplements.com/

Turn away from all experience by either: 1. turning toward the assumed knower of whatever objects still arise, or 2. relaxing all voluntary intention except for the intention to do just that. Ignoring all experience / thought / objects / intentions in the process... again, except for the singular thread of intention to do the above. Once Witnessing becomes apparent (you’ll know; only object left is the subject; feels very transcendent and experience seems to almost flip inside out), apply that singular intention to itself as well, going full ⭕️. Good luck!

It’s not technically physically addictive but microdosing (or macrodosing) too often can have similar effects to dependence, particularly tolerance acquisition, as well as psychological addiction not too dissimilar to frequent cannabis use. If microdosing is working for you (I found it quite fruitful in the past) then by all means keep it up — it works especially well with contemplation — but just make sure you let tolerance clear out for 12-14 days before you take a real effective dose (my favorite is 110ug). In my experience, tolerance is 80% restored by day 7-10 and 99-100% by day 12-14.

All that ^^ is happening in, and as, Now (you’re correct in a way, in that Now is no-thing). However... “The now” is a phrase that will always have you looking in the wrong place. Now is effortlessly all there is. But yeah “the now” is not real — it’s a concept that serves as the barrier between past and present, which are actually just Now (not “the now”) appearing as past and present. Now is neither real nor unreal. Now is nondual awareness prior to anything — but it’s hardly accurate to describe is as consciousness or awareness, since it isn’t some thing — it’s certainly not “consciousness as I know it.” It cannot be known. Now is all there is. Boundlessness; beginningless-endlessness. It can’t be gotten or found because it has no edges which one could be outside of.

You never become enlightened. You apparently get enlightened of the reality of I am. There is only this enlightenment that is already. If you don’t want it, you survive in apparent bondage (the only way to survive). As soon as you no longer don’t want this enlightenment (which you are sitting in right now), you get enlightened, but only apparently, and no one wakes up. Just happened here only a few days ago.

Turn away from them as well. Any experience is not what you’re looking for, so turn away from every experienced object no matter how subtle — either by turning toward the knower or by relaxing all voluntary intention except for the intention to do just that, ignoring all experience/thought/objects in the process. You’re basically getting attention out of the way... So that the insight engine of metacognitive awareness can prevail. In the end, it’s not the objects nor any mental or “figuring-out” process that matters, it’s the progressive lack of all of those until nothing is left, then holding that transcendent state patiently, faithfully (perhaps even longingly), and repeatedly — aiming to effortlessly hold this “pure subjectivity” (which feels really fucking good), which is revealed to actually be a special type of object. It’s very conducive for getting into gnarly meditative states, including Witnessing (Akilesh calls it the spacious mind; Rob Burbea calls it the Vastness of Awareness; Shinzen calls it the figure-ground reversal), which itself can actually be used for God-realization without psychedelics — it’s highly unlikely you’ll become God-realized without psychedelics, but if any non-chemical methods can work for the purpose of God-realization, it’s likely a very short list, and Witnessing is on it.

Death of the body? That's imaginary. This is already death. There is no after. It's a dream that bodies die -- this dream is for the illusion to seem real and meaningful. Simple as that. You're avoiding this by imagining that it has purpose and that it will lead to a future where you can both have questions answered, and not die.

^^ Meditation is probably not the best thing right now.

The pages just appear. And they can appear contextual / as part of a story. As for why we have memory... Well, there's no real why, but how else would you be able to fool yourself into thinking you're someone? Memory reifies time which reifies experience of reality.

Infinity. That's all. It can appear as anything, including the imagination of what it would be like to be conscious of some "thing" if it were possible for the infinite to know the finite (which is of course impossible).

Perhaps try The Mind Illuminated system and self inquiry (or just turning away from all experience indiscriminately to find out what's beyond experience). And at least 45 minutes a day. 30 min won't always cut it for insight and especially not Jhanas.

It was just an experience. A very exalted one it seems. Perhaps jhanic. Or (it’s just a cute story, totally, but), maybe you just glanced in the “direction” of emptiness or even unconditional love, which started to evaporate your ego, and then you looked away to continue surviving.