The0Self

LOL yep... I certainly can.

It’s all simply an empty appearance of unbounded infinity. If doesn’t need to make sense, it’s unbounded.

TMI, TWIM, all kinds of experimentations in open-heartedness and playing with and cultivating positive sensations that built up like a fire... Total story... but yeah that’s how I would’ve described it at the time. There’s no real I though so it’s meaningless to even partake in these threads I’m just chiming in for no reason. Any spiritual tips feed the seeking energy, which is neither wrong nor right, but it is what it is.

It’s not your perception, it’s not of yourself, nothing can be fixed, nothing is broken.

Considering I’ve been addicted to multiple drugs in my life, and after becoming adept at jhanas I never even slightly became addicted to them, I’d say jhana addiction is exceedingly, stupid rare.

Reality isn’t an illusion, but the journey to realizing reality is... like a journey to learning all the secrets about reality, only to nearly find that there is no reality, nor anyone to find even that truth... and that would just be another conclusion about reality anyway — and there is none, so no one realizes that, even though it’d be the only true realization if it were knowable, which it isn’t. What starts with “aha!” ends in “no way...” ? -> ? ?‍♂️ ?

Sometimes it is sadness for the imminent apparent loss of the sense of separation/knowing.

Yep!

Yeah, nothing tanks the male sex drive like low estrogen, counterintuitively. High estradiol is usually associated more with excess water retention than low sex drive. In fact. high estrogen in the presence of adequate testosterone can actually increase libido.

Yeah, while there’s no wrong way to speak about this, OP’s post is not likely one of those “BOOM” formulations since it is (at least to me) clearly not the boundless communication of the message. Try this one on for size ?... The longing for something just around the corner is actually the longing for exactly whatever already appears to be happening. That can really resonate robustly if it’s heard. There are many other aspects that can be used as pointers to the ungraspable, and they’re generally more logical and clearer and even more complete... but in my experience they often don’t hold a candle to the illogical bolded phrase above. I really don’t know anything though.

“Am I gay?” = almost certainly not straight. Unless it’s a sort of a mere thought experiment or open-mindedness exercise. Perhaps try gay porn. If that doesn’t work, get your hormones checked — particularly testosterone. Could be a number of things even including low histamine. Or just depression.

The apparent you is doing infinity. But... You doing infinity is being done by infinity. So there’s no one doing anything at all. There’s just infinity: “what is not, but is appearing to be;” what appears to be happening; nothing. If only the sheer magnitude of the beautiful futility could be seen... ?

Someone else and someone here automatically go together like flocks of a feather. And when one falls, so does the other. Ain’t got any clues but two, then BANG, ain’t got any clues at all. Consciousness is a movement towards something else, which doesn’t exist. All-there-is has no need to observe itself. The infinite has no clue about what isn’t infinite. Freedom has no clue about what isn’t free. Causelessness has no clue about what isn’t causeless.

No matter how diligent and earnest the search, the apparent you will always be pulling a fast one on itself. It wants two things exactly equally: 1. its own end, and 2. its continuation at all costs. So it’s merely an empty and paradoxical apparent energetic claim. Even surrender will covertly operate as a way to continue the survival of me (seemingly hiding always-already-only-liberation), as one has to keep doing it (keep on not-doing), so it confirms there is a “one” to surrender. Until the bitter end, me will survive at all costs. In a sense it doesn’t give a fuck about happiness and enlightenment, it only wants to be real and see things separate from it as real. It’s an unbreakable illusion because there’s no illusion to break. To be poetic, the apparent collapse of me seems to be associated with hitting a brick wall of hopeless, helpless futility one too many times, just a bit too hard, waking up what you really are; the sleeper for the time being... nothing being everything (and nothing wakes up so nothing happens). If I could give any tips I’d say just follow what feels good. And explore ways to feel even more joy and goodness via skilled meditation... But I must note: each and every tip given, of any kind at all, just perpetuates the me, which is not wrong, but that’s what it does... And not including that last sentence would be recklessly misleading, from this perception.

Would love to hear reports on this. Especially from those who have experience with at least one of: 5-MeO-DMT, ketamine, God-realization. I will very likely not be using psychedelics anymore, so “I missed out.” If only I got the memo last year ?

Just another way of pointing to this. No more right though.

Many times, and it was quite similar, though really just completely indescribable. Usually with 110ug LSD-25 or 10-25mg 5-MeO-DMT. No insight is more profound than another, because there's only nothing appearing to happen. Knowing existence is the dream. This is beyond existence.

You aren't a being. You're life appearing as a being.

Well since God is neither real nor unreal, there's no exclusively real God to die or not die.

^^^^^

All the me wants is life, which is all there is already. Un-winnable predicament.

100% responsibility = no one left separate from that responsibility to own it. There's already just what's appearing to happen. There aren't two happenings, one where responsibility is embodied and another where it is used. There's just always already what's appearing to be, and no separation from that -- no separation of any kind at all.

"was" "there"

That was precisely the apparent experience that marked the beginning of this character's spiritual path. And then all the appearances collapsed into this blinding white light inhuman being that was nothing being everything and then it was de-personified and with that, even awareness collapsed in on itself -- which was apparently my first glimpse of this.

It ain't logical brother The apparent person thinks that when it dies nothing will happen. But there's already nothing happening. This immediate appearance appears for no reason and has no limit. It doesn't need a history or a goal (or a beginning or an end). There's only nothing (boundlessness) appearing as everything and there's no one separate from it that knows it (so you can't say what it is nor even if there IS an "it"), though knowing can appear but it isn't separate. All there is can't know what is not all there is. There's just all there is, which is what's always already immediately appearing to happen.