The0Self

The body still seems to function as it always did. There’s just seeing; typing; sitting; etc. It’s the same there, it’s just that there might be the claim that it’s happening to me and I know seeing; typing; sitting, which surprisingly is itself completely unknowable. There’s just what appears, and there is no solidity to any connection or context because there’s nothing separate to be connected.

Awareness is the imaginary whom. It doesn’t appear to someone, it just appears — of course that’s not logical when seen from the perspective of being aware, so don’t think you’re going to understand it — it’s not graspable, because awareness itself is not separate from grasping, and there is only the appearance of grasping anyway; it appears but has no solidity or reality to it. It might seem complicated but it really is very simple and ordinary. Amazingly so.

The appearance of awareness is the dream of connecting what already isn’t separate. It’s not the absolute, but like everything it is the absolute — awareness (or knowing, consciousness, or even God) just has no higher claim than anything else.

How does one get to what already is? How could you get to what already is? How did you get to what already is? How could you have gotten to what already is? How could what already is, be otherwise? How could what already is, be put into a context without that itself simply being what already is?

That's fine. It's a paradox so of course it makes no sense. We're talking on two different levels, but you were talking about quantum physics, which precisely doesn't need to follow causality. Scientists are running into what's being pointed to, but are unwilling to go beyond the story, as they can't do so. You can't make sense of infinity -- only apparently so. There is no knowing though, in the sense that it's only an appearance.

I never tried LM, but I too found L-theanine to be quite effective -- prominent simultaneous relaxation and alertness. Pregnenolone was very helpful as well for some HPPD a while back. L-histidine was pretty good too. I tried like a hundred things lol and those 3 stuck out -- and chelation, but that's a lot of commitment. Also to some degree so did aspirin and zinc, for some reason. Maybe some others but can't remember. Magnesium didn't hurt either. D,L-phenylalanine hurt more than it helped. Taurine was relaxing too, but basically every single time I took it, it made me break out in a blemish the next day -- after it happened like 20 times I just never took it again lol; to my knowledge that's not even a reported effect, so I assumed it wasn't the taurine... until it was rather undeniable.

Lack of need can help with attraction, but not as much as purpose.

Oh wait... btw you know it was only 5 hours right? The 16 number was including daily life.

Not really, on both counts. Certain states reminiscent of god realization still can appear, but they have no more significance than anything else. I'd be very, very skeptical about the possibility or ever ramping up again, since the special/not-special duality seems to have lost solidity, and there's no seeking, nor was there ever really seeking, actually. This is already what's looked for, so the seeking energy starved to death, you could say.

Profoundly so. Lots of bliss. Lots of insights. Lots of detachment from normal life as well, but overall I guess I had a nice time seeking. But I was quite diligent. It might seem like all that led to a happy state experienced by someone, but it didn't. The seeker was the someone, and it apparently faded out, along with the solidity of what appears. It was a story; just what appeared to happen.

They aren't really, though... It's just what seems to appear. In the story you could maybe say the human brain is complex enough for self awareness to manifest, which comes with a sense of ownership, and that has tremendous benefit in the story of natural selection. Perhaps. It's like, all there is, going on a journey to find all there is, via the complexity of a human brain -- without that there could be no search. Of course that's a story, as it's all just no-thing appearing to be, even if it appears as separate from the whole. There is only and was only the whole appearing as that. Ungraspable peace, appearing as graspable circumstance, in apparent real-time-space.

Awesome!

27. I no longer do that though. It was a force that just wouldn't quit, and even with school and work it seemed to take place. It was priority number 1. Though yes, I'm relatively privileged, but not super rich or anything.

Ego in that sense does not immediately die as the I apparently drops when recognized as never being there. It keeps on talking, but to nothing, and therefore with no reinforcement/feedback, and so it eventually fades out quite a bit, but not really entirely. Although, through the art as you mentioned, it could have been apparently weakened beforehand (alongside various awakenings), and so not much is left to fade out, in that case.

The illusion is simply that it's your body; their body. Everything else is just as it is.

Irrelevant. Regardless, yes enlightenment in that sense is all or nothing. But there can be apparent degrees of awakening; samadhi; detachment; peace; insight. When enlightenment apparently happens it is absolutely obvious that there is no fixed reality for the truth of insights to apply to -- so it's very much an on/off switch. It's a revelation -- it levels absolutely everything and nothing, and it's all there is already.

About 2 years old. There was the realization that I had to get a painful vaccination/shot soon, and there was nothing I could do about it. I looked at my hands and said "it's just me." That was my very first memory in the story of my life.

Yeah I was kind of wondering what the hell he meant by that, lol!

That's all just what appears. It has no truth, solidity, meaning, or purpose of any kind. There's no separation between what appears already. Your idea of the game over screen is precisely not what it is -- the game over screen is already all there is, and it doesn't care if anyone recognizes that, nor is there anyone who can recognize that.

When I was a seeker: 10+ minutes noting aloud (using the framework of the 4 foundations of mindfulness, generally) immediately upon waking, then did some exercise and showered, then 30 minutes Metta, then walked the dog while using open awareness techniques or walking meditation techniques, then 10 minute walking meditation warm-up before 90 minutes TMI, 60 minutes noting-vipassana, and 30 minutes self inquiry / Witnessing, with a 10 minute walking meditation between each of those 3 (so another 2x10min sessions) to relieve my legs while maintaining some level of samadhi, and a second session later on in the day for experimental stuff (often mantra or kasina, and sometimes contemplation; noting; another TMI sit) usually for 30-90min. All of it generally with a background sense of being a gardener or the mind. So 280-340 minutes (not including the dog walking, nor daily life meditation, or microhits a la Shinzen Young which I employed often). About 5 hours daily on average. For about two years. However... I meditated/contemplated basically every waking hour and even in some dreams, often doing metta, inquiry, etc. So basically 16 hours a day (6 hours sleep, 2 hours of just living). Usually didn't (intentionally) meditate while having sex with my girlfriend, lol. Now: Usually at least a 10 minute sit on most days. None of that had anything to do with enlightenment, btw. Although in a way (or rather, absolutely), that's all there ever was anyway. Seeking was loads of fun for me. It was also very distressing at times.

The choice-less revelation that the longing for the object is actually the longing to never need it again. This is wonderful advice:

Nothing is happening.

Good luck convincing anyone of that. But there's no one who could stop wanting that -- not to mention the apparent one is the wanting of that.

That is a typical defense of the ego that I hear a lot when talking to people and answering questions about these matters on the phone, in daily life, online, etc. The knower/doer/ego thinks everything would go to shit without it -- without meaning; purpose; value. But the ultimate joke is there's already no knowing; ego; meaning; purpose; value. There isn't anyone who could choose. So of course nothing can be right or wrong in that sense. Wrong is what I say is wrong; right is what I say is wrong -- and there is no real I. It's not your infinite consciousness; there's nothing separate to own it. It's infinite unrestricted chaos miraculously appearing as ordinary life.

The solution to suffering is that there's no need for (nor possibility of) a solution. Meditation can certainly take the edge off. For me, its primary allure seemed to have something to do with exploration, insight, and power. Interestingly, if one gains the ability to produce as much bliss as they want on demand (actually possible through diligent meditation), they will have no need for that ability anymore, so in a sense it never gets anyone anywhere, but the point is really the path anyway, not the destination -- in fact there isn't a real destination. But there's no one on a path either. And no point. What we're doing here has nothing to do with us, as there is no we -- we are an appearance; we're not real, we're apparently being done...not even.