The0Self

Low doses of acid amplify bodily tension like nothing else. Back in college living in dorms when I struggled with social anxiety I would get insanely intense contraction and pain in the chest if I didn’t dose high enough. When I dosed high I’d feel fine. Years later I became very sensitive to it though and there was basically no amount that I could take that would cause tension. It would just cause ego death or “glimpses” or whatever you wanna call it.

Until -example person- realizes this to be an oxymoron, spirituality, for them, is doomed.

If you are interested in self inquiry, just know it's a bit more intense than you might imagine. Look for the I. Every experience you have seems to occur to you; the I. Every single experience. So in the process, you'll maybe feel like you're sort of "catching the I" -- you never are. Once you realize this, it's easier to just rapid fire down the line disregarding literally everything until... Poof... Generally takes 6-24 months of all-day practice, amidst your daily activities, just so you know. And it's not even necessarily the liberation some of us talk about here.

After the I stops, it’s obvious that it’s gone, but it’s practically unrecognizable exactly what it is that’s gone — it just wasn’t ever there. It was an assumed receiver and cause of what’s arising, which seemed to make the arising seem real, but there was only ever just what’s arising. Nothing really changes, there’s just no one to know or get anything, like it always was. And nothing is real, including death.

Not quite, but for an arahat the piti flows smoothly in a circuit, isn't tumultuous, and doesn't cause one to cycle through the progress of insight. Rather than feeling weird stuff like euphoric explosions at the top of head, insomnia, mania, etc. In some cases I think bipolar may be a diagnosis that completely ignores all spiritual causes, such as piti/dark-night cycles. The newer field of transpersonal psychology may be addressing this kind of stuff, however. Arahatship is really just an amazingly fun toy, it's not liberation.

The mind is very busy and multi layered and delegated. When enough of these parts all do the same thing (pay attention to a certain group of sensations) it frees up a ton of energy as less is wasted on opposing intentions/desires, but before this energy has anywhere to go (in the form of samadhi states), it will be released as tumultuous energy currents that can be felt as painful or blissful, but generally quite intensely and eventually it almost certainly takes on the quality of exhilaration, before eventually calming down. That’s the general progression of piti/kundalini in skilled meditation. It’s the epitome of makyo in Zen though, lol. And it’s just a story.

Constant, sure. Permanent? No. Especially if the me dissolves a few times, or altogether — then there’s just “sitting in a room reading,” etc, or whatever seems to happen. Completely ordinary stuff — probably because the tendency for boredom and nostalgia is pretty much crushed in the germ.

No one gets anything. They only seem to get things. There's always another layer. Always, meaning ultimately, never. It's empty, which is full.

@Moksha Amen.

I'd say it's an auspicious sign that science and mysticism came full circle, not that it wasn't always that way in a sense. There is only ______.

Words cannot express my simultaneous condolences and solidarity

The closest you'll get to an answer is what's already been described in this thread. When it's mind vs what is, mind always wins.

The thing is it really just simply doesn't fucking matter.

Wonderful.

Can depend on what model you use. The Theravada Buddhists might say it’s just cycling through the ñana’s in the progress of insight. Firm, clear objectification of sensations is what drives one further along. To stay where you are, you can get absorbed in whatever appears. To move on, you can objectify sensations clearly and persistently. That’s just the Buddhist paradigm but it’s one of the most reliable imo.

Because arahatship is supposedly indestructible. It closes the loop of ego-death/ego-backlash cycles and kundalini/piti. It can’t get more closed than closed.

Leo is doing things the hard way. He’s doing things the beautiful way. He’s not doing things. And neither are you. My character prefers transcendence over depth. Leo seems to prefer depth. (Just in a story though). I can respect his approach. Maybe you can too. Question is, can you recognize the love in his approach? Neither can I, but it is seen. What I described is what this sees; you’ll see something else entirely.

Well, death is not like anything. This is death. There is no death.

Fair enough, but for them, in a sense, they think it’ll be like something. They think it’ll be like going to dreamless sleep but never waking up again, for instance, as you said.

This is actually impossible to think. Any individual can think they know it, but they don’t. They sometimes might even have a feeling in the back of their mind that “they will experience nothing” — still an imagined experience. To solidify my point, the reason (or at least an obvious gesture toward) why the individual cannot imagine what it’s like when it’s not there anymore, is obviously, of fucking course, because it isn’t there now.

@Mojinius I really want to say something helpful but with everything and especially this topic, there just are no rules, only seems like there might be. You’re golden however you slice it though.

It's just a story, but God is imagining someone who has forgotten/ignored their self to be God/wholeness/freedom, thereby God can experience imperfection and meaning through the unreal, imagined subject, "you." There isn't a you -- only empty-fullness, or consciousness, freedom, or whatever you want to call this.

Just a theory: He was very depressed and had a lot of shame. He was kind, but awkward, stressed, and not popular at school. Very damaged ego. Humility is seen in his words here. What was left of his ego really didn't like the feeling of humility, so the psychological construct of vulnerable narcissism developed as a result. He became corrupted by the ego of the far more confident and popular (but still somewhat of an outcast) Eric Harris (huge ego; psychopath; grandiose narcissist), and their constructs fit each other like yin-yang and all hell broke loose. Eric gave Dylan purpose; Dylan gave Eric admiration.

Yeah, as is real-unreal. Nonduality points to the neither real nor unreal.

@SamC It can cycle. One of the best ways of gauging your current level of consciousness is to check how much gratitude is present in your experience. You can perhaps short circuit this by intentionally focusing on things to be grateful for while you're in a low state - or just remain aware of the various mind states that arise while you're in these low states, but make sure to be grateful for your ability to do that! And remember to complement/appreciate yourself for your ability to remember to do that.