The0Self

@arlin We are conscious in deep sleep, and it is peaceful, we just don't usually remember it -- there is an induced ego death due to complete or near-complete memory suppression. But after you sleep for a long time you still have a vague sense of the time that elapsed. This is in strong contrast with experiences of anesthesia, wherein the moment you lose consciousness is the exact moment you regain consciousness, from your perspective -- as if you jumped forward in time in an instant, no matter how long you were anesthetized.

A gf of mine absolutely HATED the copper IUD. But apparently not everyone reacts that way. Copper isn't really that toxic but it does sort of act as a counter to zinc so with more copper entering your body you often need more zinc (which purges excess copper from the body), and excess copper can be quite harmful -- I'm pretty sure its associated with psychosis and anemia. Damn that sounds like a great option. Progesterone is supposed to be pretty good for you. I think it can decrease sex drive though.

@vinc3nc Just saw that your TSH was low. Read too fast the first time and assumed it was high. Serious thyroid issues seem to be more associated with high TSH than low. But get your T3/T4 checked. And Euthroid/Synthroid is T4. Some seem to do better on T3 (Cytomel).

Why? Because of awkwardness or something? But anyway, personally I would never have sex with a hooker for money. If you've only had sex a fairly small number of times, I can understand how that could make you feel unconfident in bed. Having a relationship can fix that pretty quickly, but it's all in your head anyway, and I wouldn't recommend starting a relationship specifically to practice sex.

It is a belief, IF you believe it. It is what seems to be the case. The part you left out is that there is no you, and the infinite is infinite.

The absolute best kind of awakening is the kind that absolutely no one wants.

Or seems to be happening.

I don't mind it at all now, but yeah, I have long since learned that sleeping on my side prevents it.

Try to experience more fear. You'll fail.

Maybe try 3 days a week for cardio and lifting (full body, no splits) and relax just a bit. Diet seems great except for the vegetable oil from the peanuts -- polyunsaturated fats can reduce thyroid function. If you have seriously reduced thyroid function that doesn't respond to anything, consider hormones, preferably T3 and pregnenolone.

It's not easy. It's terrifying.

If by ego you mean personality, no not possible to function without it. If by ego you mean I, you're already functioning without that.

When I look in the mirror I see the most gorgeous person imaginable, regardless of how subjectively good looking I am to someone else. This comes from self love, but the trick is to view others this way as well

Oh yeah and for an actual tip. Try to make it as scary as possible. Not by literally figuring out how to make everything worse, but by simply mindlessly and intuitively intending to increase the fear factor. The fear tends to lessen when you attempt that, counterintuitively. By cutting the aversion to fear, you eliminate the source of the fear. Dissolves the whole thing to manageable levels like a charm.

@PurpleTree lol damn dude. I've had several that transitioned into lucid dreams where I'd get out of my sleeping body (which was often excruciatingly painful, kind of like what I imagine phantom limb pain to be like, but everywhere, but once I was totally in a dream body out of my physical body, the pain stopped), walk around my house and contemplate just what the fuck must reality actually be for me to be apparently having this experience right now. That happened probably 300 times, maybe more, maybe less. Sometimes I'd even walk outside my house and go for a walk. Sometimes the door just wouldn't open. Weird stuff man. I would've done more interesting stuff than that if it weren't for the fact that it was just like real life. I could even read and stuff.

Well I have narcolepsy so yeah, all kinds of hallucinations. Even at the worst points I was grateful to have the condition. I tripped for free every night.

@PurpleTree I've had this happen every night for 3 years straight. Eventually I just stopped caring. I would jerk myself out of paralysis after a long struggle, hundreds of times a night, literally shaking in terror.

@levani Just make sure you do a push, a pull, and a legs, consistently, and you'll be good. Chins, Dips or Overhead Press, and Deadlift or back squat. Can sub bench press for dips but only if you're also doing overhead press. Benching alone will cause rotator cuff issues.

Definitely not. He's been long dead and was a chemist who was a little on the nutty side but he knew heavy metal detox more than anyone.

Andy Cutler. If you really want to know more.

Reality happens in duality, which isn't real. That's the principal strange loop.

Most definitely forget I said anything about it. You don't even want to know. Waaay too deep and dangerous of a topic.

This is my wheelhouse (not really), and yet I can offer no help. Diagnosed with narcolepsy at 19. Mid 20s now. Narcolepsy just means very roughly that instead of stage 1 sleep, you have REM sleep. So paralysis upon going to sleep every night. Happened for like 3 years every night and it was quite terrifying but it eventually just stopped happening. For no reason it seems, but it happened around the same time I did a chelation protocol, though it wasn't at the exact same time, so that correlation certainly doesn't imply causation.

For bodybuilding purposes you might get just a bit more protein synthesis from 1g protein / lb of bw a day (i.e. 180g for 180 lb), but more than that is just beyond wasteful. Protein supplement companies are the only reason people think you need ridiculous amounts like 1.5g/lb -- every olympic weightlifter and any scientific study worth its salt disagrees with the supplement companies that stand to gain from young guys thinking that doing whatever they can to practically OD on protein will make them big and strong and ripped and a chick magnet... If you can believe it... lol.

All of those symptoms you described are nothing like the actual dark side of meditation. You might not prefer the dark side of meditation over what you have now, but what you have now is nothing like the dark side of meditation. No relation whatsoever. Meditation will almost certainly alleviate your symptoms. Do enough meditation, and the dark side may manifest -- I wouldn't worry about that though.