OrangeKindom

I had lot's of involuntary muscle movement. During the trip, I was on my yoga pad, I tried to let go of my body, and my body just start to moving randomly by itself, I didn't bother control it because I was alone in my room and I didn't care. My whole body will sometimes contract/shake violently, It was mildly shaking the entire time during the peak of the trip (maybe 3 whole hours). I wasn't sure what that was, but now I think about it, it is probably some kind of emotional relief, like I release the tension in my body, and the day-to-day stress. I was very conscious what my body was doing tho, and I can stop can get the control back anytime I want, but I didn't. My thought was like this: I know I am not hurting myself by shaking it, and it might be a good workout lmao. But when I come down from the trip, try to sleep, that was when I felt the body load, I was exhausted, and my belly area, feels very weird, a mild pain? Not a good feeling, I get the similar feeling when I do LSD. Oh now I think about it, it is probably the gas in my digestive system that was causing the discomfort, I was gassy.

@mandyjw I am glad you liked it!! At that point I think my ego was pretty demolished (the fact that I need to breath stops me from experiencing a true ego death I suppose? I haven't experience that yet, so can't tell), and stuff like "the difference of idea and a thought" just flows out like crazy, and because my ego was weak, I wasn't questioning these thoughts at all, because they are from the universe, and they just CAN'T be wrong. When 6 hours in, I am coming down from the trip, my ego is slowly coming back, and that's when I start to doubt myself a little. Or maybe it was ego death? during the trip, I honestly can't imagine what it will be like to live an everyday life because I was so complete.

Yea Leo, at the beginning of the trip, I felt like language is kind of like a shitty sketch pencil, not a nice one, sometimes too thick, sometimes not the right color. And if I tried to use that pencil to draw and describe what reality is like to someone that never experience reality, and obviously, it doesn't really work that well.

That was almost the end of the trip, where I felt like I was reborn. I was lying down on my yoga pad, on the floor, feeling like a baby, like I'll be on my back, with my arms and legs in the air, moving around (I also didn't care what my body was doing by itself), and everything is new and interesting. That was when the idea of "Phoenix" really hit me. As if I was a phoenix reborn in fire (the intense spiritual trip). And then I was like, oh this shit is profound and I started to take down some note. Not really the redemption cycle, I wrote the big phoenix down in the middle, and then these fundamental/core words just went through my mind (good, bad, evil, ugly beauty, etc), I felt like I was learning them once again, and gained REAL understanding of each of these words (concept). So I wrote them down, didn't care about if they are readable. So yea.

Turns out that the Universe is just a giant recursion, Some thing like this: [[[[[[[[.]]]]]]]], Feels kinda like google earth, you can zoom in and out. Google earth is limited zoom in and outs. But reality is infinite. It is ONE. It was kind of a struggle of switching between "enjoying the moment" and "I need to write this down or otherwise I'll forget". But I enjoyed it.

I am pretty tired at this point to articulate what was happening in my mind for the past 6 hours, also language itself is pretty fucking dull and pale. The only thing that was holding me back from the TRUTH is that I need to breath?? But here are some note I tried to take down during the trip, if someone actually read through it maybe they can have an idea of what I went through. Man that was some spiritual shit. Here are the note, in chronological order. There are some time stamps I tried to take down but yea, time is a man made concept, but can be useful. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------