Ibraheem

Yes, it's getting better though I'm glad I posted here.

Hi Everyone, This is my first post and I'm excited to be here so thank you for taking the time to read this. Lately I have been angry. They are situations along the lines of when someone tells me, "this is how things should be..., you have to do this to be acceptable... I need things to happen a certain way..." for me to be happy, Basically it's when people do something or relying on something to defend themselves and validate their self worth. I can give you the most recent example. I was in the car with my friends and one of my friends said she was born a lesbian because there is a gay gene, it wasn't her choice. This triggered my anger. I was thinking things like "Since when do you care about human genetics? You would believe anything just to feel safe so you don't have to defend your self worth and feel discriminated against." I hope this makes sense to anyone. I don't want to get angry like this in these situations. I see that people don't want to feel vulnerable sometimes and that they want things to happen a certain way. Can anyone give me advice on how to explore and express this anger?

Thank you for the reminder. Every now and then something bigger comes up that takes me weeks to work through that makes this difficult to achieve. I'll take this advise to heart.

I go through phases of anger when I explore my emotions and meditate, the deeper I go the more it comes up. Sometimes it comes up as a self defense. In this case I think it's that I know the act of compulsion isn't my job, the more I work on it the more I see others do it in various ways. I'm working towards forgiving myself and others.

I know you guys are right. I'm trying to meditate and explore this anger and in the mean time I'll just try to be kind. I know no one is perfect I mean I do the same thing. Thank you guys that really helped me.

No, it had nothing to do with being gay at all. I just got angry that she was trying to twist things in her favor to change my opinion like it's law. Someone brought up something about a famous person who models clothing for the opposite sex. I said something along the lines of well it's his choice and I don't care about following famous people and their lives. Then she got defensive, told me it wasn't a choice to be gay, and tried to prove to me there was a gay gene. That's when my anger kicked in and I was thinking Just because you don't like people discriminating against gay people doesn't mean you have to get defensive and start making things up to make me think life should play out a certain way. Even small things are triggering me when people say "gross why are you drinking black coffee" "Why don't you like this song?" "Why are you wearing pants? You always wear pants! It's too hot!" It's just coffee, I like black coffee. I don't like the song, It's just pants. Takes your judgments and shove it, if you can't face the truth, don't tell me what to do, just mind your own business, I'm not asking you for anything so don't ask me to change to make yourself happy. That's what always comes up, "Takes your judgement, get rid of them or shut up. Stop acting like life has to go a certain way". I've been trying to work on this for a couple of weeks, I'm here hoping to find some resources to learn more about this.