5-D - L O V E

God realization and non dual awakenings feel to be like some sort of great equilizer for me, like you can disregard any experience by saying it's all God, which is valid in some way, but not necessarily the most helpful position to take Here's where I'm coming at this from, it's basically the fact that the more awakening/ mystical states I reach, the more complexity I seem to unravel, YES it is all God, but God likes to play with itself within forms, "stories" and frameworks and those are as valid ways for it to recognize itself as melting directly into the sun of its being, the forms and stories I'm reffering to could potentially include anything; The discovery of a "personal soul" that undergoes a reincarnation journey accross space and time (and yes it could be seen as illusory as the personal ego but in my experience it's still there), Paranormal activities (clairvoyance, clair audience, controlling matter and energy through the quantum field) Disincarnated entities, spirit guides, angels, aliens and alien intelligences Synchronities that simply break reality and that could fall on the verge of schizophrenia A soul's purpose being something other than realization, a "personal" soul could incarnate for the sake of learning anything whether it's courage, faith, proactivity, trust, love, selflesness..., and yes all these are stepping stones towards god realization but necessary non the less Direct DNA activations and rewriting, nervous system rewirings, the discovery of Akashic records Personal karma that transcends this one lifetime, soul contracts, souls reincarnating in groups to help each other fulfill their life missions 5D consciousness and beyond, vibrational levels ... And the list goes on and on, I know a lot of people may just consider a lot of these things to be just new age dogma(s), and tbh many are, and I don't advice anyone to believe in anything that hasn't been personally verified, I started out this journey being a radical non dualist, to the point where I didn't believe in anything outside of God as a singular infinity, there was no nuances, separations or experiences from my view, if you asked about a personal soul or reincarnation, I would just explain it away with God But I'm feeling that although that was not false in itself, radical non duality is still valid, I'm realizing with time that there many layers to truth/reality that could all be valid at once My question to finish this is, is there anyone in here with experiences along the lines of what I've described ? and why does no one seem to talk about these things ? I know a lot of bullshit has been superimposed on a lot of these things which made everything dilluted and took out a lot of validity to these things, but still there is a kernel of truth in what I'm gonna refer to as "dualistic awakening", there is value in this, but that's just my perspective I would love to know anyone's position on this matter

@Hojo It may be devoid of bias but braindead doesn't compute in my own understanding, infinite potential carries infinite intelligence, and infinite intelligence doesn't emerge from a dead brain, if it was braindead how could it generate anything, whether it's experience, insight, love, strive, will to exist... ?

My question is very simple, does the godhead "know" everything and I mean everything, does it see beyond potentialities and the seeming free will of different conscious agents ? To give a further analogy, picture the exapnsion of the universe which as a process is faster than the speed of light, that means that any phenomenon at any point in space cannot be perceived by any observer (that experiences light and relativity the way we do) if that observer is at the edge of said expansion, and vise versa, now is it the same for god? does its infinitude "escape" him, and it's undergoing some sort of process to understand itself, or does god simply know the totality of itself even as absolute infinity ?

First of all, assuming everyone here has a atleast some understanding of god as being absolute infinity, for "you" to begin, absolute infinity has to end, and by definition that a is a contradiction, absolute infinity permeates everything, so "you" never exisisted, in that sense, from god's pov, solipsism is the only reality, there's only one reality and one experiencer, and they are the same, no you to be found in this picture, of course the ego would beg to differ, but that's not true As for sanity and insanity, in the absolute sense they don't matter, what we refer to as sanity from our egoic experience is just an oversimplification of reality based on beliefs and patterns, awakening feels more like insanity (from our day to day understanding) than sanity, if you open the flood gates of experiences and surrender to it all, you will go insane, reality is that chaotic and beyond, "chaos" can be experienced to an extent that would make wish to die, and you will (temporarily hopefully) but then the ego's desire to come back will put a limit to god (or we could say god would put that limit as an act of mercy) for you to come back and have some chance at regular survival, carrying out a "normal" exsistence, but once this is perceived, you will forever be permeated and prone to some kind of fluidity that aligns more with truth than with survival

@TruthFreedom i like most of them, yet to come to terms with rats and cockroaches, today is defenetly a pigeons, lizards and elk day Seahorses are fun, too bad they can't be mounted yet, imagine what a ride it would be Also; saw you post about seeing the light and just wanted to say that I find everything you said to be completely valid, experience is infinite, so the experiencer (not the ego) but soul for lack of a better term is bound to be somewhere else once this trip is over, I personally have had insights into heavenly realms, reincarnation (both past and future lives) but just remember to do your best to make this existence into heaven, cause chances are this is what we are here for, the other heavens can wait And if it has been revealed to you that you are special, then you are, just don't cling too much to that realization cause you may get a glimpse into the opposite side of the coin on a future trip, that neither you nor anyone is special, and both realizations can be valid at the same time

I understand these aspects of the spiritual process, my issue lies somewhere else It has to do with developping one's potential, living, being open to experience, having life open up and manifesting desired experiences. What I struggle with is feeling such a lack of love and joy that I can't find the will to do anything, I do/did more in terms of effort and had almost no results to show up for it, and my conclusion is that it's all due to a fundamental lack of love overall, I lack faith faith, joy and love in every endeavour I partake in, and it shows My premise is that if anyone was in my shoes, they would have exactly the same experience I'm having, I have a beautiful home studio and I don't have to work for the time being and what I would want to do with my time is work on music, but I find myself lost in apathy, negative thought loops, smoking cigarettes all day long, and I don't know how to break out of this, I am construct aware but it's an energy thing, all my life I have struggled with having an inexistant support system, never felt being geniuenly loved by anyone, and as much as I would have that not affect me, it does A LOT Now I just see it clearly, the difference between me and everyone else who has accomplished anything worthwhile is that they have experienced love, I have not, how could one remedy that ? Most people don't understand how much love is necessary to do anything in life, it is taken for granted because nobody had to deal with what I'm dealing with

@gettoefl Consider this, before you reached your spiritual liberation, did you have ego based desires ? (I would assume yes) and I would also assume that you had atleast some success regarding some of those, if not a lot of success, but atleast you had the ability to manifest, where the intent came from is not what is of interest to me, but rather you having that ability, I used to have this ability as well, if you think about it deeply you will realize that self love/joy, innocence and clarity of intent are the most important factors when it comes to manifestation Now, if that's the case then you start suffering from your desires and you surrender everything and go for god, after that you'll still "have" the mechanics of manifestation working for you (like they did before), it's like having a muscle and never having it go so broken and atrophied that it just dies afterwards... My case is that I have already surrendered my life to god, and I know too well that ego is a failed project (not to say absolute madness), BUT me having had the joy and innocence parts so broken in the past makes my ability to manifest close to nil, so I know what my higher self wants, but (A) I can't go for it because (B) I feel stuck on things I can't seem to get over If anyone could put themselves in my shoes it would make SO much sense, but I'm targeting something so fundamental and which is taken so much for granted by almost everyone that almost no one can even see let alone validate my issue, or help me find solutions which are not projections

Or both the world and physicality hold immense worth, see it could all be just semantics (or not), if that was the case then why don't anyone who realizes god immediately just leave this world ? What if my path was to fulfill these cravings ? I know it's mostly vain, and I see through it, and I do aspire to higher things, but I can't even work on my purpose and I do have all the time, skill and money is not even an issue at this point in time, yet here I am, I can't bypass this I wish I could just say "I fogrive myself, I allow and release" and just go on doing my work, but I can't get 10 minutes in without being bombarded by mind What is a good life ? is it similar for all people ? can it be the case that some people need more ego ? other to eradicate their ego completely ? can it be the case that some people have had so little development when it comes to the ways of the world that they can never be fully functional as classical egos so they just have to surrender all their life to god, and when they do god pushes them exactly in the direction I'm trying to follow?

I know that the fabric of reality itself is love, so how can anyone ever lack that, yet here I am, it's not a problem of identification, it's not anything anyone has touched on so far, it's not me needing to do basic self work, or seeing a therapist, or having some kind of new realization or awakening, it's about manifesatation, self love (in the small self sense) and realizing that god cares for me, sensing that when I wish or pray for something atleast I get some sort of response, if I am god, then why can't I be complicit with me, yet anyone who dwells in ego (as long as they have enough self love) seems to have that ?

@Grateful Dead Psychedelics are not the issue. Me not taking responsibility is not the issue either, it's rather the symptom of the real cause of suffering, anyone who is taking responsibility and acting in a purposeful manner has a basic layer of self love I lack Life is not openning for me, that's my issue I lack love, touch and validation, that's my issue I can't seem to find joy to evin begin anything, and I do know my purpose, I just seem to have lost love for anything including life itself, and that's my issue I need a miracle, anyone who has done anything (no matter how small or big) has had the kind of miracle I'm reffering to, I just need life to work with me, but I don't love myself, so nothing seems to work because everything I do lacks the most fundamental catalyst, LOVE, and I don't know how to break that cycle Think fundamental, more fundamental than you can even picture, I'm talking baseline levels of fundamental

@gettoefl That becomes glaringly obvious when I transcend my ego on psychedelics, it happens to me in regular states too, but the sadness aspects of my life seem to hold more weight than any insight or realization I get, even god realization It boggles my mind whenever I see people talking about their 5Meo experiences on youtube and saying how much of a shift that has on their lives, some peoplle get that with other psychedelics, others even with various other spiritual practices, whatever they may be... I have been there, I consider myself having gone deeper than most people, yet due to where I come from I can't seem to reap the benifits of said experiences, I know this screams ego and lack of integration, but I beg to differ, I wish I could explain my situation with words.. It's just like having an insight into god, it can't be conveyed, so goes for what I'm struggling with and trying to point out

There was a period where I was way more functional, optimistic and aligned with truth, but I still felt alone, so I put aside my own goals to make connections, find people, or share what I found valuable with the ones that were already in my life, and I got zero support, worse than that I was just brought down in many ways, and the joke of the situation is that those same people used the inspiration I brought to up their lives while I stayed behind I am ready to let it go, it is it which seems to be clinging to me, I had moments where I just let go of everything, I've had profound cathartic moments of release and forgiveness, I set my intentions on new beginnings more times than I could recall, but the pain and regret just seem to always come back, I have yet to find a definitive solution

If anyone in here had a similar experience to what I'm reffering to you would understand the abyssmal depth that heartbreak could take, and that with such scares, most people (if not all) wouldn't even want to continue living, and to be honest, I don't either, I'm just aware that there's nowhere to go, and that if I overcome this I may be one of the strogest and most rezilient people to have ever lived, but that isn't a motivation (no matter how much I try to recontexutualize this situation) I have an immense sense of faith, but I don't see that faith working for me I know I sound crude, bitter, raw and completely dysfunctional, which is the case, I also have positive and functional sides, but I'd rather be true than try to paint a false picture, this is also who I am

@Salvijus I may sound confused and conflicted by saying this, and yes I am But I don't believe in most things that are being proposed here (sorry) Not rejecting the validity of what anyone is proposing, but rather that none of the solutions proposed seem to address my specific situation, I don't think that anyone quite grasps what I'm dealing with, and it's partly my poor conveing of it all As much as I want to find the love of god, I want a solution that deals with everything in one fell swoop, Expressions such as "God's love" or "serving one's ego" or "shadow integration" are quite vague, here's where I'm coming at all this from I'm big on comparaison, there's this one thing I see almost everyone pull of except me (which just boggles me... but let's not go there) This specific thing is that anyone who puts out a desire or an intention into the universe gets a manifestation of said desire, no matter how spiritual they are, in this sense life just seems to work for "everyone", and the fundamental reason that everyone is overlooking and cannot grasp and which is taken for granted is that almost all people have a basic layer of self love, no matter it's source or how thin it is I have never had that, I could have done more spiritual work and more self help work, more shadow work... than anyone in here and it wouldn't show for that simple reason, I don't fundamentally love myself So the kind of grace I'm looking for is its own agenda, I'm not going for the big pie (god's love), or rather I want the universe to show me that it cares about my ego like it seems to do with everyone else

@Leo Gura Do you know about Paul Chek and the CHEK institute ? From what I've gathered that guy is the real deal when it comes to anything physical, his understanding of physiology and biochemestry is quite deep and he has an integral approach to his practice, he does work with 5MeO and from what he states and many of the people he works with, he does get good results, he works in conjoncture with other physicians... I thought to let you know because I truly believe in this guy's work