DianaFr

What do you do as a PhD? PhDs normally have similar core tasks but the way they are executed and how the work is organized can be very different depending on the position. Studying theory from your chosen field - in order to develop your own theory or prove your hypotheses, you need to understand what is going on in the field, in depth. Doing your own research or gathering your own data - this purely depends on the type of research you’re doing. Publishing peer-reviewed articles (there might be a few places that don’t require this, but it’s very rare). Networking, going to conferences, collaborating. Teaching and supervising. Research mobilities are highly encouraged (practicing in other labs/research groups in other countries, short term or long term). Writing and defending your dissertation. How free are you to choose what you research? This again depends on many factors but, in general, the answer is - you are NOT very free to choose your research. It will be limited to two main things: (1) what your supervisor/research group leader is interested in, and (2) what is eligible or competitive enough to receive funding. Essentially, the formula for a successful PhD is as follows: Your supervisor is a respected authority in the field with high publishing and PhD defence rates Your supervisor is willing and motivated to work with you or arrange things in a way that you have access to the support you need Your supervisor is able to consistently attract funding (strongly linked to the first point) Your PhD position has a funding secured for the duration of the project (usually 3-5 years) Your PhD topic is related to the research direction of your chosen research group and builds upon the previous work You already have data and proof that backs your proposed PhD project up (goes with the previous point) You are a motivated and hard-working individual capable of independent work and leadership, as well as collaboration, often internationally You are willing to make sacrifices this path will require As you see, the more aligned your project is with the previous work, the better your chances for success. In that sense, you don’t want too much freedom. A good compromise is that you find a PhD position that strongly aligns with your interests from the beginning, or you find a flexible supervisor in your chosen field that is open to studying new problems. What is your routine/day to day as a PhD/Scientist? This can be very different depending on your specific project and contract. It also depends on the phase of your project. If you’re involved in teaching/student thesis supervision, it also depends on the activities of the academic semester. Sometimes all you do is sit in front of your computer and either analyze your data, or do literature searches, or write your own stuff (writing is an endless thing - proposals, conference abstracts, reports, publications, editing other people’s work etc.). If you’re actively collecting data, than you could spend most of your days (and nights) doing that. One of my favorite parts is designing experiments (or research in general). A big portion of time will be spent dealing with frustration because failure is almost guaranteed. A lot of traveling is also involved (conferences, research mobilities). Are you mentoring people to join R&D positions? You mean R&D in the PhD context? Yes, as it concerns the general path. Obviously, I’m not able to provide institution-specific mentoring.

The best bet you have is to reframe your "illness" as traits you have and that you must accommodate for. "Functioning properly" may look very different for you. At least, this approach helped me feel more okay with my stuff. It never stops being difficult, but at least "feels like a burden all the time" and "being tired all the time" part moves away. The illness is not everything you are. If there's more space for the other things, the heaviness gets diluted.

A few things I would like to say. If you see and believe in something, don't doubt yourself (provided you have enough self-awareness). If you spot social injustice, stand up and don't be a part of the crowd. You may not be able to fix it, maybe not right away, but you will nevertheless serve as a source of positive change (but it will have consequences). People act the way they do because of human psychology. Groups have a mind of their own. Once a person is a part of a group, the group identity often takes over and the individual identity gets overpowered. It's not uncommon to see a person act completely differently when their social or group identity turns on. This is why mass hate and abuse happens. People with independent characters are either loners or leaders. I don't see there being anything wrong with you. You're sensitive and have an innate understanding of what's right and wrong. It's a gift (albeit might feel like a curse).

Yep. I'm also involved in a mentoring role for aspiring PhD students or people interested in the academic/research path. My first PhD was in molecular biology. The one I'm doing currently concerns the well-being of researchers within the academic system from the organizational ergonomics standpoint. I'm sort of doing a PhD about doing a PhD

Nope. Finding your purpose doesn't make you more successful per se. Success is a very tricky term and can mean million different things. If you want to pursue music, go ahead and do it. I doubt music is your purpose, though. It could be a means to it if you feel passionate about it. So don't mix conventional success with purpose. And don't be surprised if you step on this journey and it takes you somewhere else eventually...

Yeah. Can you be more specific about what would you like to know?

You have put so much pressure and expectation on your purpose. What if it doesn't work? Will it still be your purpose?

I have two rules regarding spending money. One, other people's spending decisions is none of my business (even if these people are my parents). Two, my spending decisions must feel good - either because I highly value the thing I get in return, or because I see it as a valuable investment. So I never give money to people if it doesn't feel good to me. From the way your question is formulated, it seems to me that you have been focusing externally regarding money. It makes you more vulnerable to other people's influence (which doesn't always consider your best interests) and powerless in the face of other people's spending habits. Maybe it's something you want to work on.

It is okay to be multi-passionate. Me as an example - I'm a molecular biologist, a Tarot reader, a quality manager, an empath and transformational life coach, and as of recently I pursue a PhD in human factor and ergonomics. Hands down, I'm deeply passionate about all these things, and it has driven me crazy for years to try to figure out how my work and career should look like, since my interests are so different. Now I'm in my late thirties and I finally realize the unifying factor of all these things which resonates with me as my purpose - it's human well-being. It can be realized in many different ways which is a liberating realization. So just go ahead and experiment with your passions. You really can't get it wrong. Life is long and it unfolds with every step you take.

My personal favorite in instances like these are CBT techniques, STAR method in particular. It stands for Situation, Thoughts & feelings, Actions, Results. It makes you examine what exactly takes place in each situation and what's your reaction to it, which in turn allows you to notice patterns. Once you've done looking at the present situation, you can create the alternative STAR - how would you LIKE to take hold of the situation, what thoughts you ought to be thinking to act in your preferred way etc. Than it's a matter of bridging the gap with practice and rewriting your normal behavioral pattern with a new one.

I do. But I don't consider myself a fan of Actualized. I used to check out Leo's content 10 years ago when I was into self-help and self-discovery, but I moved on eventually. These days I visit the forum occasionally out of interest to see how folks are doing and to show some respect to my younger self, but I must say I often feel this is not my place to be because the demographic here is so vastly different than myself, different needs, different interests. It's still a chance to learn something beyond my bubble, though, which I enjoy even if I don't agree with everything.

Journaling can't replace therapy but it can be insanely helpful. I have been journaling for two decades as a regular habit and I don't know who would I be without it. As for the trauma work, it's not sufficient, though. I've noticed that my journaling habit has made me very self-aware, so working with other modalities like therapy is easier because I can self-reflect easily, I know myself very well, and when the therapist joins in, the work is just more effective. However, the thing with trauma is - one needs to experience the opposite in order to heal. You can dig up your traumas and reframe the related beliefs, you can also make sense of your trauma-related emotional patterns on paper but you can't recreate the experience you need for true healing. This is a huge shadow for many in this forum by the way. Let us do whatever we can to meditate ourselves out of existence by pursuing high-consciousness stuff and convincing ourselves that we're better than "normies" so we can find a way to cope with our pain. In reality what most people around here actually need is good relationships. Certainly not a new self-help technique. The same is true for journaling as trauma remedy. It is not a solution. Very helpful, but not a solution. As for the techniques, I mostly rely on a flow-of-consciousness style of journaling and rarely use prompts. Just start with whatever I'm feeling in the moment, and the story unfolds from there. I added more specific frameworks, like CBT techniques and other belief-reframing methods when I already had 10 years of experience in freestyling regularly, so I already had a good writing discipline. I don't think it would make as much sense if I started with the specific methods from scratch, because it would make the task too difficult to keep up with and thus less efficient. For me, what worked even better was creative approach and involvment of different creative tools like Tarot cards and creative writing. Wow, that made this work so much more exciting and turned it into a journey rather than a mission with a certain outcome. But that may as well be just me. My mind thrives on symbols and abstractions, and I applied it effectively in my trauma work. Maybe you have your thing as well to in corporate in your journaling practice.

I'm not a digital artist but I've learned one thing that's universal in different industries - no matter how good you are, there will always be somebody better. And that's fine. If you're surrounded by brilliant, talented and skilled people, it's only natural to start feeling uncomfortable because you want to be in their position but perceive yourself as less. But it's a game one can never win. Over the years I've learned it's better to get to know yourself inside and out through your work, develop your own unique way and make your strengths work for you, not against you. Another beautiful thing you can always rely on - as much as you are creating your work, your work is creating you. Just surrender to this often messy, chaotic, confusing and yet so satisfying process of doing your thing and it will take you somewhere. If you give in to the process like this, the concept of mediocracy becomes irrelevant.

Why? Can't God create?

Then what is a human being if it is nothing?