LostSoul

So when I was 18 I had a huge emocional release (huge criying) where I saw basically all my life I had the thought "thats not me!!!" and then something similar to the experience that Echkart Tolle and so many people relates happened to me, some kundalini energy awaked and I was at pure bliss for 2 weeks or so. I started reservación what was happening to me and at some point I found this blog and the YouTube channel. Later on I had a huge dark night of the soul, depression and all that stuff, I repressed all the LOVE that I had seen and, believe me, there was too mucho to repress. I had up and downs that came from that times but you can say it lasted until now that Im 24 yo. Almost every day i feel anxiety but I can handdle It, i dont know why I have It but I think It is related to that memory of the time I was in bliss. My question would be: how can i start to relieve that anxiety in a healthy way? I still lo ve with my parents and that doesn't help at doing emotional work. Also, how can I start to bring that awakening back, being my soul and body so scared of It?

@Yimpa @Breakingthewall guys, I really have the inteligence needed to get out of the hole, but not trust in myself, nor in others. My body, mind, environment, all seemingly going against what I need for myself. Is very dificult. The most dificult is the pain on my chest, and belly. When I had kundalini I truly let go and LOVE, but i felt the backlash, fear of not be loved or not fit in society, fear of death, lead into deep trauma. Also I was a fucking kid seeing all of Life, so much for me at that time. But the faith remains since I Saw the light years ago. Sorry my english

@Yimpa can time be wasted? Im in inmense pain and anxiety of wasting my Life... I had awakening when I was 18 and now im 24 and I have almost only suffered. Really have social anxiety

Traumatize in what sense?

@MisterNobody i can tell you that i am aware right now writing these words... Dont you think so?

Leo has already said It to you. Watch yourself confusing relative vs absolut truths.

@Leo Gura yes, so how come oneself know what is true? Isnt always one deceived in some way?

@Yimpa no

I just want to kill my anxiety anda depression, basically to feel what you described haha

How to prevent the mania and dark side efectos?

I feel like I have very strong burried emotions on my body, I always have been running from them but now I knocking 24 and I feel like I cannot live life like this anymore. Even talking to people produces me anxiety, especially girls, but this only happens when I relax into my body and emotions came up, so much tension, so much sadness. I was looking forward yo start to heal through psichedelics because I feel I can't other way, I always end up with distractions. Any opinions on what are the BEST psychedelics for this? Any video source that explains how yo heal through them?

Lot of thanks every answer

@t1mb0b i Will be gettin HCI soon, but 5-meo-malt. Do you have any sugestions on how to consume It?

@Ulax im not the topic startera but i relate yo what he said, and myself im not able to Connect to people in that way. What can I do?

Does anyone know the expire date of this substance? I'm very interested in taking this psychedelic but I can see its potential dangers, so I'm planning not to take it before some years of basic personal development. My plan was to get it and, if it were possible, keep it for some years. Reason for that is I'm scared it could be banned in near future.

Nice. Thanks!

where can I learn how to be calibrated socially? any source?

@Leo Gura why is the opposite direction if outside and inside is One? I cant understand this. Thanks

yesss

For those who are suffering and don't know why. Simple video but amazing wisdom. Felt like I had to share with the forum.

@Moksha what?

Im struggling very hard to connect the dots between conciousness and being human. Leo and his teachings are, obviosuly, always coming from a human perspective. Is awakening limited to humans? What is really difficult to understand to me is conecting everything Leo says without a human in the middle of everything. Like he says that every piece of reality is made by yourself to make yourself fall asleep or awaken. But what sense has these if you were a fucking ant?

@kinesin thanks¡

Sorry if I didn't explain myself correctly, Im from Spain. I meant, what is the sense of teachings like: ''reality is composed of two things: things that are for you to falling asleep and things that are for you to awaken'' ''you are creating reality every moment and the greatest thing to do in life is to awake'' ''God wants you to awaken but can't do it for you'' ...if you are not a human capable of these things. I mean what if you are an ant?

@Leo Gura can you elaborate the relative distinction between Conciousness vs Awareness (Awareness as being self aware conciousness). Related to what @Moksha said in the first page of the topic. I'm confused. Thanks