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Hello everyone, I am in my 40s (43 to be exact). English is my second language and I will try to write grammatically correct sentences, per Leo's guidelines. If anyone sees grammatical errors I would appreciate the feedback to correct them. I am raised in a very close knit family. Growing up there was no concept of boundaries in my childhood. I have been through physical, verbal, emotional and mental abuse, the whole package , in my married life. Today, I reach out because I need to understand, move on, and process the consistent feeling of guilt, self-doubt, auto-programming of mind to please family. I am trying very hard to setup boundaries, take care of myself and "focus" on my life. I fail at times and then I pull myself together again. I feel I am stuck at a loop. All my siblings think I am evil, crook, and many other things... my truth is that I have never borrowed money from anyone of them, have never lived with them in their homes. Non of them have jobs and they are either dependent on their partners or parents. I have been living on my own for 13 years and I have never moved back in with my parents. I also have a child who I took care of myself. How should I deal with my siblings? My parents are diplomatic, they need to keep all their kids happy. I start believing in what they label me as. Thank you in advance for reading this and providing any suggestions.

@Ingit I was in a relationship with a man who was extremely good looking and financially settled. His insecurity issues drove me up the wall. I started feeling suffocated in the relationship and eventually I left him. As Leo already suggested what you need to do, I will not repeat that again. Imagine, if your girlfriend starts being exactly how you have been with her, would you like that? Would you feel comfortable in the relationship? Do you see that it can last for 1 year, 2 years or 5 years? When I broke-up in my last relationship, I also started focusing and analyzing on why I felt suffocated in the relationship? Why I couldn't make it work? I realized that due to my past trauma I didn't have the bandwidth or capacity to deal with what was coming my way. I needed to work on myself. I always remind myself that I can't force anyone to be with me or be with them - people change - in beginning stages of relationship everything looks promising but 1, 2, 5, 10 years later things can be totally different. Nothing is forever. Solitude makes us strong, attractive and secure. Don't get me wrong, relationships are good, they help us grow and belong but at the end, all of us must learn to be comfortable being alone. Take care of yourself.