Ima Freeman

Experience shows me that I'm bad at handling conflict with others. Be it coworkers, family or friends. If someone is opposed to something I did or there are arguments I can't really handle it emotionally. My first instinct is to not give anyone any surface, to be somewhat ignorant. Even if I stood up for myself, I have strong emotions that run my mind afterwards. My knees get shaky and I feel resentment. Are there techniques to get better with handling confrontations and be calm during it?

@Human Mint This is conflict

This is the aftermath of conflict

Good point What do you mean with bursting your own bubble?

Thanks a lot for your scientific treatise Have to read it a couple of times to decode it

Very helpful. Thank you. The eMotion tries to push me to a fight or flight reaction

This might be seen as to hysteric because of how easily I feel hurt On the other hand I manipulate by being ignorant, like having no surface

Lately I asked to friends for postponing a date for a little time, came late to that and one was very directly projecting his anger onto me Looking back his anger was justified, but I still plan to cut him out of my life, because I feel disrespected. A coworker had a very disregarding attitude towards me after I respectfully turned her romantic longing to me down. I tried to ignore her passive aggressive attitude and stayed stoic. But I felt bad because I can't stand people disrespecting me. Basically she was in such an attitude where nothing would have really helped other than a clear rebuke from the higher ups. I did not even tell my manager once. In another workplace, a pretty unregulated one, I had some quarrels because I was trying to improve things, but in a direction one coworker did not like. That was a quite reactive and immature person when coming to a dispute with someone. I was setting up boundaries in a respectful way, but did not urge the manager running the place to settle the dispute for good. He was not interfering much. Mostly it comes down to me being someone who is very autonomous, which is not liked and seen as a threat by some people. I'm not really communicative with others and can even get purposefully ignorant to the elephant in the room (the conflict) And I tend to be hurt quite easily and have the impulse to cut people from my life

The problem is my body can't handle confrontation. I feel nauseous, shaky, heartracing, sweating I'm pretty sympathetic and nervous generally

I have to be careful. Last time I took a normal dosed trip of LSD, I had some emotional trouble at the end of the trip, causing me to frantically leaving my flat, feeling a slightly panic followed by being teary and having a fall in my self-esteem, then I went jogging because I was so agitated Something like annihilation is something I won't follow because I tend to have emotional disregulation and I could run into panic attacks I like to nudge myself into meditative states or higher contemplative states carefully with moderate doses

@Human Mint I did that in the past, but the problem arises when you have agonistic people around, who use your lack of boundaries and niceness to assault you. One thing I suspect is, that I have a personality that is prone to be attacked, for whatever reason. Maybe I'm quirky, or not the witiest or fastest, I only suspect Some might get trough with such an personality because they are cheerful and kind of a goof, but I'm quite tense and sober at the ground level

@DianaFr Thanks for sharing The thing is that I always react calm and try to minimize damage. But I can get very resentful, can hardly shake that feeling and want to ban people from my life. My ego is hurt very easily, and I don't want that. I wan't to be at ease and not so vulnerable.

This is a great example of how misinformation works, by telling half truths. In fact Hitler was vegetarian, not vegan. Sounds totally unimportant Now imagine the same little differences in political discussions...

Btw, I don't have lack of energy anymore Now I have a good amount of it, but being nervous, neurotic, unfocused, unclear It's better though. With energy you can at least work on yourself a lot

I do not want to discuss what the culprit is. This is a very complex matter that I'm working on for years and will take some time, if ever it will be solved. This is about how to live as well as possible and to progress through life, while having a low level of physical drive/energy... Having little motivation, no enthusiasm at all, only feeding on hope Having little mental energy for imagination, planning, seeing a big picture Being undecided, having poor judgement Not being light on your feet, being sluggish So I'm speaking about times where you have to endure something like that without.. getting addicted to caffeine getting stuck to Youtube or social media for stimulation feeling under pressure not to get hopeless getting lazy and doing everything the easy way (fast food, watching shows)

Just gold... Health is such a mysterious thing

Thank you, that are valuable recommendations

Relaxation definitely helps. I do shavayatra, basically a yogic form of muscle relaxation and feel a lot better afterwards

Must Watch I think LSD as a chemical weapon was too in Us army stockpiles back in the day

My experience with psychedelics was always that the feel "healthy". The invigorate my body and cause the life inside me to strengthen. It's especially interesting because psychoactive compounds, "drugs" generally are regarded as subtracting from health, causing bodily harm. Alcohol clearly dose that, stimulants, opiates. Even though the cause a pleasant stimulus, this stimulus runs into discomfort, pain, disatisfaction. After taking psychedelics on the other hand, I feel more alive, satisfied, peaceful, stronger. They are a general medicine in a way. In my experience the reorder the life in the direction of holiness, of perfection. I'm especially referring to light dose of psilocybin mushrooms and LSD The only way in which I would consider them to be unhealthy is, if the stimulus is to strong for the foundation to withstand, causing stress in form of anxiety, panic, strengthening psychotic thought patterns.

I do feel more at peace and satisfied, so my desires aren't that important anymore. But I guess I did not take high enough of doses yet to have disolution of ego / ego backlash yet

I get bruxism too on LSD. That's an indicator that it releases alot of stimulating neurotransmitters. Happens on amphetamines too.

Same for me. They show me uncomfortable aspects of my identity.

How ironic

Reality can be seen as a machine. And a machine needs fuel. In the pursuit of higher consciousness, different things are tried, like concentration, meditation, contemplation, being disciplined in an effort to untangle from habits, etc. But what factor determines the degree of growth the most? The amount of energy one has is critical. As someone who struggles with being asleep in an upright posture while meditating or starring blankly at ones contemplation journal most of the time I get aware of this a lot. I think most peoples success hinges on proper energy cultivation. Of course the amount of energy is not everything. High intensity can lead to derailments like anxiety, delusions etc. The ways the energy is structured and it's direction is also important. What are your thoughts? Any methods on how to cultivate energy that can serve for spiritual growth?