Ima Freeman

@intotheblack Could be the reason. In my opinion cognitive disfunctions, like ADD, are due to bad brain health. And this could have many reasons. Eating irritants for the gut, having gut disbyosis, excessive screen time, hormonal disbalance, etc etc Yes, I talk primarily about metals, especially mercury. Do you have amalgam fillings? Did your mother have some at time of pregnancy? Did you get vaccinated with thimerosal containing vaccines? @integral Hair tests can be informative, but mercury levels in the hair do not necessarily correlate to body burden. According to Andrew Cutler, well known in the detox world, you have to identify specific mineral patterns in the hair mineral analysis to diagnose mercury toxicity. The best method in my opinion is to do a couple trial rounds of the Cutler Detoxification Protocoll to see if you have problems due to mercury.

ADD/ADHD is a neurochemical problem. I would suggest you to look into environmental toxins and nutrition. Toxins can lead to attention deficit, so limiting exposure and detoxification could be the key to your problem. Try eating a diet rich in protein to give you the building blocks for a healthy neurotransmitter balance. Another thing that might help is a elimination diet. Cut out common food allergens like gluten, soy, corn and dairy as well as sugar for some months and reintroduce them one by one to see your reaction. Or maybe you are deficient in some vitamins/minerals. Taking a blood test for common vitamins/minerals/hormones can give you a clue which supplements could be helpful. This requires some reasearch though.

Lately I discovered that the real reason to start with spirituality and self actualization for me is, that I want to feel good. I have many many deficits in my life, like being socially anxious, unable to keep up relationships with people, being depressed and having almost no enjoyment in life. What really got me into spirituality was the urge to have a wonderful life experience. Being serene, happy, having no anxieties and really feeling life as deep as possible. But oftentimes my urge for happines is standing in the way of self actualization and finding truth. Most notably I use drugs and music to get into enjoyable states of cosciousness. But then I lose interest in pursuing truth. I rather smoke a lot of weed and listen to music, than to sit and trying to meditate. I still do krya yoga every day, eating healthy to stay in good shape, reading books about spirituality and listen to Leos videos. But the whole endeavour of raising consciousness by doing spiritual work is fckn tedious for me. It has not yet lead to any significant enjoyment and that's what I yearn for. When I do drugs and listen to music, that is producing real enjoyment for me. Has anyone here similar reasons for pursuing spirituality? Are the search for happines and the pursuit of truth two things that go together? I'm split between the two.

@neutralempty 1. On the one hand I have several things I am motivated to achive in the long term like getting calm and "healing" my ADHD, doing long meditation sessions and retreats, find likeminded friends, doing some creative work,... 2. This sounds good, but after some time of being disciplined I see how nothing much is changing so I get gradually less interested to do something laborious and have almost no hope that things will change for me. I use food, drugs and the internet to stimulate me into feeling better. 3. Only when I crash really hard, e.g. after getting into youtube videos marathons or after taking lots of drugs, I really start to take self actualization very seriously again, because I see where stupid behavior is leading my towards (very bad places) I go through this three phases 1-2-3-1-2-3-.... So even if I have motivations in the long term, they get smashed by my psychological problems and by the suffering of not having much if any success.

This is my primary reason why I do work on myself. It is just very frustrating that there is so little positve motivation in my life.

That's something I actually thought of in the last time. Experimentig and doing things my way. All the spiritual work I do, I learned from others. It seriously lacks my own personality.

@roopepa https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fnhum.2016.00130/full

No problem, rant like you desire I discovered, that I fluctuate between phases of self discipline and investment into my development and phases of worldly enjoyments like drugs, music and traveling. In the latter I often lack the time, motivation and the sobriety to do spiritual work. What I believe after investigating my behavior is, that I have a neurochemical problem. I actually do a lot to correct that, like therapy, detox, etc. Drugs are sometimes just too effective and all my self discipline flies out the window. But they betray me at the end. Most likely the way to go is to heal my psychological ailments before doing some serious spiritual work. Otherwise I will fall back multiple times or even give up some day.

If you like history I recommend checking out this channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfCKvREB11-fxyotS1ONgww Thank me later

@Logan Yeah, I have stopped using drugs several times, but keep getting back using them because at least on them I feel good. While not using drugs, I still search for ways to be happy. Btw I'm not a daily drug user.

Had a vision to start a business around the protocoll and to some work to spread the word about mercury poisoning. But the side effects of the therapy are too debilitating atm. I might start it when I have enough cognitive skills and motivaiton again.

War is a armed conflict between humans. Suffering and dying is life as a whole. And If a virus is deemed a terrorist, what than are humans? Hyperterrorists?

@Twega If the human body could detox metals like mercury, it wouldn't stay in your organs for decades after exposure. From what I read, proper chelators (like ALA and DMSA) do not only transport heavy metals out of your body, but are the only proven way to do so. Supporting your body while chelating is a good idea though.

@Moobrty67 If you need a substance to be calm you have a neurochemical problem.

Hello everyone, This is a very serious topic. It's hard for me to talk about this mental phenomenon, because it looks like I'm a lunatic, but I want to resolve it, so I search for help. Intrusive violent thoughts As the title says, a big mental disturbance of mine are violent intrusive thoughts. This kind of thoughts are unconscious and the most energetic, powerful thoughts that "happen" to me. If they occur, it's like I'm not there, just like dreaming while asleep. Most often, I sense that they happened after they passed. So, what is the content of this thoughts? Normally they involve being verbally or even physically attacked by other people. Then as a way to protect myself, I push back against these aggressors. This leads oftentimes to me assaulting my opponents, beating them up, stabbing them or even shooting them. In extreme cases I kill the person or persons who mistreated my at first. The people I harm or kill in this thoughts could be everybody. They often include people who want to patronize me like policemen, my father, mother, politicians I don't like. But if I am frank, they also included people that, in real life made jokes about me or who had a dispute with me, like my sister, my uncle, people who made fun of me in school, people that made fun of me in work, etc. Trauma from the past So what in my life could be causing this thoughts? As a kid, I was hyperactive, daydreaming all the time and did not really follow the instructions of my parents or teachers. This lead to my parents (mother and especially my stepfather) shouting to me, dragging me around, hitting me and locking me up in my room (rarely). I didn't understand why and developed a deep hate against my stepfather. That's where my hate against authority and paternalism developed. This sounds very bad, but they where not mere tyrants. I had a good childhood at the end, my parents bought me lots of toys and we went to holiday every year. But when I step out of line I got sanctioned. School was hard for me. It was very difficult to concentrate and I was not interested in the topics. My parents took me to several doctors, psychologists, and "healers". I was prescribed ritaline for a while, but it didn't work for me. In school I was not very popular and "cool" but I wasn't bullied either. I was somewhat in between but not very social too. At the years past I retreaded more and more. This was the time, when I first noticed violent thoughts. I had to cope with various mental problems in my youth until today, like depressive phases, severe social anxiety and addictions. I began to experiment with alcohol, weed, speed and other drugs to feel better. This was not a long term strategy, of course. I hardly drink or smoke weed today. At he moment I'm virtually on my own, without a social life. I meet friends maybe every two weeks to a month. Since the corona virus lockdown even less often. What I do Do I have a will to act on my thoughts? No, I am against violence. But could it happen, that in extreme situations I harm people disproportionately? Maybe, but I don't think it's realistic. When I see a brawl around me, my legs turn to jelly and I'm very anxious. Like being restless all my life, I'm being paranoid too. The murder thoughts are nothing but a reaction to my paranoia, that I get mistreated or attacked by other people. So what do I do to get less paranoid? I'm eating very conscious and healthy and doing sports. I try to keep my body healthy. I'm very self critical and contemplate about myself. I try to understand myself. Because of my psychological ailments I went to three psychotherapists in the last six years. My current psychotherapist says, that these intrusive thoughts could be because of my previous drug abuse. They made this thoughts worse, but I had them before experimenting with drugs. People around me do not seem to understand what I'm going through. So, why am I writing this? I want to know if people here have similar problems and have found working strategies to resolve their violent thoughts. I accepted them already, but they do not resolve. I want my mind to be calm and peaceful, not hateful and murderous.

@Nahm I will learn more about emotions and the true Self

Agree In what ways one can control the mind is the question.

Yeah, I did one hour meditation sessions daily back in the day. But I discontinued my meditation routine. For me it feels like meditation is not effective at this point. Getting physically healthy, healing childhood trauma and understanding the psyche is more important for me at the moment.

Where does ME begin and where does it end? Good question, not a silly one. I don't know what I fundamentally am. So saying that my thoughts are part of me was the silly thing. I tried it sometimes, but they oftentimes bother my so much that I go back to analyzing them. As I said, it's not only the thoughts that happen, but the feeling of rage too, which has it's inprint on me and stays for some time after having these thoughts. So basically the thoughts are poisoning me. That's why I feel an urge to get my psyche fixed.

I would say "survival thoughts" are a better term. I feel threatened, so my mind prepares me for confrontation.

They are ego boosters, I guess. The contend of my thoughts is usually this: I get verbally or even physically attacked, there is a feeling of threat, there is a feeling of immense rage, I "defend" myself by fighting back resulting most often in the death of the attacker. Even if I do not react to them, I feel enraged for some time. So trying to not indulge in them is pointless. They overcome me. Part of my mind, which belonges to me. I cannot walk away from it.

Publicly as an anonymous internet user, yes

I do not get that, unfortunately. But I try to contemplate on it later.

Big Tech is already encroaching on politcally incorrect opinions. It's a matter of time till Tim Pool gets deleted. People will get to alternative platforms like LBRY, Parler, Gap, etc. And when that happens, these platforms get banned: https://reclaimthenet.org/google-bans-lbry/ You see how deep the rabbit hole goes? But most likely you applaud this comming technocracy...