BornToBoil

@Bernardo Carleial you probably know the answer yourself already. The right thing to do would be to back off and suffer through it until your feelings calm down by themselves. Stay strong, man!!!

@Eren Eeager You might have as well said that alcohol or smoking is silly or that eating sweets is silly. Obviously everyone understands that. The problem is that people sometimes have problems managing their emotions and desires. You are talking as if you and everyone else apart from him are perfect and don't have things that you wish you did less or stopped doing.

@Hello from Russia wow, that was enlightening Thank you for going into that much depth!

@Leo Gura I guess I already did. I really want to create some really neat business that is not only profitable but contributes to the society a lot. But sometimes I get this thought that I need to become a president or someone of that level to really make an impact. Which I guess is stupid if you think about it.

@SilentTears I see, good luck with your experiments then ))

Sounds cool, but will just 6 hours of sleep be enough for you, especially in the long term? P.S. I am not sure if you want people to post here or want to keep this thread for yourself. I can delete my post if you want to keep things clean

@Arcangelo it's only a numbers game if you turn it into one. Some people manage to find the "love of their life" after dating just a dozen people. What if a girl at the bar is hotter than a girl a at the street? What if people have different perceptions of "hotness"? What if being hot is just one of the parameters and not the only factor? Your thinking is absurd if you take it out of that pickup game that you are playing. Is it really that hard for you guys to comperhend that different people may have different interests and preferences in life? And that if you are into approaching 100 of girls on the street and trying having sex with them as soon as possible, then it's totally possible for someone to be into a polar oppsite of that? And that there is no right, uniform answer how one should date or live their life in general? I am very clear about what I want as far as relationships and sexuality are concerned. I have my own role models in those areas and you guys aren't them.

@No Self thanks I will check this guy out he seems nice ) I actually just made a presentation about a scientific article on millenium development goals and social entrepreneurship for my thesis project. I love when little coincidences like this happen

@Sleyker it's not an absurd limit, haha. Most people don't cold approach girls and yet they have awesome fulfilling relationships. It has nothing to do with me facing my fears. There are lots of other more meaningful ways for me to face my fears. And I don't see how approaching a girl on the street is more scary than doing the same thing in a bar for example. To me the only difference is that it just feels stupid. Also, I am not saying that I am never going to approach a girl on the street. I may, if the situation is right. But I am not going to turn it into a grind and approach 100 girls per day like a salesman who tries to sell random people some useless shit.

@Mannyb @Mannyb I don't know. It's hard for me to understand that kind of logic since I am not yet enlightened. But again, I am not saying that I am not going to work on enlightenment. And I don't see why I can't do both at the same time.

@Sleyker lol, there are millions of cool girls in the world. Missed one, gained one, who cares? Why should I do something I don't feel like doing and worry about "missing out"? Also, that argument completely forgets about time restrictions. I can only meet a cetain nr of girls per week, per month, per year. And this number is low enough for me to be able to choose the setting that I prefer without "running out of girls to approach". Don't be sorry about me. It's my life and I am going to live it the way I want.

The most important thing that you need is determination. All the techniques and advice come second. So when you doubt yourself and have a desire to go back to your addiction try to ground yourself again by asking yourself why do you want to quit. Writing it down helps a lot in my opinion. Stuff like meditation, mindfulness, observing your cravings, etc., can also be very helpful, but it is nothing without strong will to quit even if it means suffering a lot initially.

@Porphyry Fedotov yup ))

@Porphyry Fedotov here, since you speak russian, watch this dude, just to get some healthy mindsets inside your head Also, you have probably heard about Igor Voitenko since he is quite popular (if not look his channel up you might find it pretty motivational). He didn't have sex with his gf until they got married. Now, I don't say that it's the right thing to do, it's a seperate topic I don't want to get into rn. The point is that does he look like an incel or a looser to you? No. Why? Because he acts and lives life like a strong person and that allowed him to create an aweso.e relationship.

@Preety_India I think that all this concern with getting friendzoned so many guys have is just one big insecurity. "We are men so we need to think about sex first" "If you don't fuck on the first date then it's all over, you've failed" It's kind of petty in my opinion to have that kind of mindset.

@Porphyry Fedotov why would it be unsalvagable!? Don't even think about giving up right now. Just do your best and see what will happen. As I have said before, nobody here can assess the situation properly. All we have are your words and as you have mentioned yourself, you have very little experience in dating and are a bit anxious in general so you are likely to misinterpret some things. Don't ask me about how to flirt though, I have no idea myself. You can ask those "experienced" guys above about the basics of flirting. Just don't believe them when they tell you wether you should give up or not or whether you should invite her to your home. You need to decide that yourself based on the situation, just try to feel the atmosphere the next time you meet her and make the decision that is the best in your opinion!

@aurum I am not necessarily criticizing it, as I have said, I have been thinking about doing pickup and that's just counter argument that have arised in my mind. As for the better plan, I am thinking of doing something in between. I really hate the idea of approaching random girls on the street during the day. I wanted to learn pick up skill so I can use them in other settings, like meeting girls from my social circle or at least approaching girls in a bar, club, concert, etc., where there is at least some context.

@Arcangelo as if you could really discover everything about a person after talking to them for 3 hours... Unless he has a personality of a Siri it shouldn't be an issue. Also, by getting sexual too early you will cut out lots of girls who aren't wiling to have sex on the first date. It seems like they share lots of pretty unique interests and vibe well together and I guess he is more interested in a relationship rather than a hook up. I don't see any reason to rush things in that case. You can flirt and build sexual tension without having to drag them to bed the first time you've met, right?

@Porphyry Fedotov I don't think that rushing things is always the right move, so you need to assess this particular situation and decide on your own. Both Arc and me can't tell you the right answer because how little info we have. But I guess being a little more flirty and sexual won't hurt in your case. At least for the sake of practice ) Btw, I am from Ukraine, nice to meet you!

@Mannyb to be honest, I hoped for something more practical. I think realizing that you are God and becoming enlightened isn't mutually exclusive with having a life purpose and doing helping people in a more down to earth way. Also, you wouldn't be saying that if you were born without a possiblity to ever realize that you are god or even to start thinking about your spuritual needs because of the environment you were born in.

@Farnaby Thank you Actually, that's the thing I definitely don't want to do. Approaching random girls on the street seem very awkward and cringe to me. I see some guys do it and it just looks stupid. I was thinking about going to clubs, concerts, bars, etc. to practice. But I am kind of afraid of asking the girls from my social circle out, haha. What if they reject me and then we will have to endure this awkward atmosphere every time we see each other )) But I know that it's just an excuse. Btw, pick up skills should be useful in all interactions with girls, not just when you do random approaches, right?

@Porphyry Fedotov Why don't you text her tomorrow and ask her out again? If she agrees then everything should have went smoothly.

@Porphyry Fedotov I mean, what would she have to think to do that? "Hmm, what do I do about this guy I met up with today? We had a cool conversation and he was nice and all, but what if he wants to date me!? Omg, that would be awful, what should I do about that?? Just ghost him? Nah, I am a creative person after all, I need to come up with something more extravagant... Oh, why don't I text him and send him a hidden message with my skull collection! Yeah, sounds like a great idea!" Again, I might be wrong, but I don't believe it's as deep as you think it is. The simplest explanation is that she just wanted to text you and share something you both like. Also, you won't find out for sure unless you decide to continue talking and seeing her. And, nothing keeps her from changing her opinion about you either to one side or the other.

@Porphyry Fedotov what kind of hobby do you guys have? I am really curious )) I might be wrong, but I don't think that it's the case. I think it's unlikely that she would go to such length to send you some hidden meaning, what for? Although I have never met people who like to keep snake skeletons and pug skulls at home, so I don't know, haha. Also, I think that a girl texting you by herself after a date is a nice sign

@Arcangelo Don't you think that this need for sex may actually harm your dating life by making you to rush things and be impatient?