BornToBoil

@Bojan what manipulations?

@integral yeah their relationship is very stage orange and stuff like that is to be expected I guess, but she just took it to some new cosmic levels of toxicity, lol.

@flowboy yeah, good luck!

@Username I guess that might be true (depends on what do you mean by older though)

@Arcangelo I feel like you guys would be a perfect match...

@Username that's not true in my opinion. My parents are stage orange yet they have great and healthy relationship with none of that bullshit. Yes my step mom enjoys expensive gifts and stuff like that, but she would never push my dad to buy any of that, let alone disrespect him in front of anyone. As@flowboy said, those are just genuine tokens of appreciation. Not to mention that they have been through some pretty rough time together when money was a problem. Every stage has healthy and toxic manifestations to it.

@Username It's not just orange. This is super fucking toxic orange...

Now I have actually read the list a bit and this is even worse than I thought!!! She even had the audacity to turn things like wedding proposal and buying a ring into a freaking score game! Also her logic 10 chocolate bars = buying a house. She is so materialistic, but also crazy. Run the fuck away from her! (But first troll her with the blowjobs list, lol)

Honestly, wtf, that's crazy! I think you should break up with her. That is rude and disrespectful as fuck. Or you could make the list of blowjobs first and then leave, that would be fun. Have you told her how it makes you feel?

@xxxx Beautiful!

@Etherial Cat sure, why not, haha. I mean, we could argue forever about meanings of different words, accuracy of our estimations, etc. But it's a thread about helping @Preety_India and not about some philosophical debate, so lets end it here

@Etherial Cat you are absolutely right. I used the word "intentionally" rather broadly here. For example by my definition, you can not cheat unintentionally and then say something like "oops, sorry, I wasn't aware of what I was doing". By unintentionally using someone I mean something like me using a relationship for validation: "look I have a girlfriend now, I don't suck anymore!". But I guess since i am aware of it now it would also be intentional, haha. So yes, you could argue that most people are highly unconscious and because of that they harm others "unintentionally", but that's not what i meant in that case.

@Username I would take some boxing or muay thai classes if I were you or something else that offers you an opportunity to experience a fight in a safe environment. It's more about learning to overcome the pressure of facing an opponent in a real situation than about learning how to fight. For that reason I don't think that something like karate or most self-defence classes are the best options since they won't give you that real battle experience.

I guess I agree with that statement (even though there is obviously no way for us to verify it), but I would draw a distinction between not knowing how to love properly and using or betrayal. For example, because of my inexperience, I would probably suck at building relationships for the beginning and wouldn't be a manifestation of true love, but I would never intentionally use or betray someone.

@Etherial Cat as far as relationship compatibility goes I guess you are right, even though it's not like it's just a pure chance. I understand that everyone has different experiences and you probably had some bad ones, but saying that 99% of men are going to use, play, and betray you seems a bit harsh to me.

@Etherial Cat I understand that you are saying that because you want to lessen her pain, but it's a very bad mindset to have in my opinion. If anything it will make her attract more assholes like that in her life and be an obstacle to finally finding a great relationship. People often take mindsets and law of attraction lightly and that's a mistake in my opinion. Not to mention that it's obviously not the case.

@Preety_India shit, that sucks, hope you will get better soon. I really wish I had some solid advice for you, but I don't since I have never been through something like that. There is a book called "Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life" by Byron Katie, I think it could help you. I also think that trying to focus on a relationship with your new bf might help, but on the other hand it is probably very difficult to open up and trust someone again after being cheated on. Plus, I guess it's better to learn to deal with situations like that yourself without being dependent on a new relationship. But again, it's all just my speculation since I have never been in that situation, so you probably know better than me. Don't give up, you will make it!

@Preety_India Thank you. I may sound too supportive of this relationship, but I am not, I still have my concerns. And I am going to keep an eye on it. I just don't like that kind of black and white thinking, especially when it's based on a limited information. @Arcangelo well, at least you have guts to admit that, haha That's just your opinion which is based on what you would have done. He might lie or he might be honest, I won't know until I ask him. Also, it'll be pretty hard for him to lie well enough for me and my sister to not pick it up. Unless he is a KGB agent, he is probably going to fail. When you structure your questions properly and catch a person of guard it becomes very hard to lie and keep your emotions in check.

@Arcangelo what's wrong about asking what his intentions are? Seems like a legitimate thought provoking and open ended question. Also, you are only saying that this relationship is ok because it suits your agenda of being a pick up artist who also wants to date 19 year olds, aren't you? @Preety_India I agree that it's not about legal age or consent. However her having a relationship with this guy doesn't necessarily equal with her being immature. Even I, knowing much more about the situation than you guys do, have my doubts. So I think it's wrong of you to just come to conclusions like that. @iceprincess Thanks for your concern, but just because something like that happened to your friend doesn't mean that it will happen to everyone. From what I currently know about the situation everything seems to be pretty stable.

Today is the end of second day. Was a bit depressed in the afternoon and felt a medium level urge to relapse but used mindfulness meditation technique to feel into the urge and was able to let it go. Decided to listen to positive affirmations and do a workout outside instead.

@SirVladimir yeah, great idea

@Moon thanks for your support!

@Preety_India I am actually a Ukrainian who lives in Poland temporarily. I will probably live it when I finish my university here. So I don't know if that counts, lol.

@Preety_India if I made it sound like a drama, then I'm sorry, my bad. But there really isn't much drama. When I talk to my sister about it she seems pretty rational and coolheaded (maybe a bit irritated about me being too nosy). I trust her to be able to handle the whole situation even if something goes wrong (of course I'll also do my best to help if something goes wrong). @Moon they are not abusive per say, just too strict and overly protective. She probably still has a tracking option turned on on her sim card so they can know her location (I did too but I changed my phone number since then and they are less strict with me in general since I am a guy). The last time my dad found out about her having a boyfriend and her being at his house without telling them anything it was a crazy shouting much, tears and stuff.

@Keyhole yeah I surely will talk to him and keep an eye on the whole situation