BornToBoil

@Preety_India Again you are judging them by appearance. Many of those arists, at least those who I listen to are real romantics inside

@Preety_India I see. I am not going to say that your way of evaluating masculinity is right or wrong since it all comes down to personal preferences. Personally, I think that wether a man is masculine or not should be judged by his character and not how he looks. You are definitely wrong here imo, even as generalization. Maybe it's because women usually listen to music that is overall more feminine so you have that picture in your mind. You aren't going to call guys from "the king and the gester", "rammstein", or "sabaton" emasculated, are you?

@Preety_India how is Kurt Cobain "emasculated"? I understand that it's mostly a matter of personal preference and is highly subjective, but still. I mean, he is obviously not a macho man, but I wouldn't say that he lacks masculinity either. Also do you classify rock music with all of its subgenres as pop industry?

@7thLetter It's just my opinion, but I think it's a bad idea and you might regret it after you do the tattoo. 1) I don't think that tattooing a bunch of stock photos on your arm will look good. They will look random and all over the place, especially for people who know nothing about SD, but even for those who do. Also since you want to start from the wrist area with beige and, assuming that you are not going to walk around with a naked torso all the time, what you and other people will mostly see will be: hunting, tribes, knights, jesus, money, and hot girls, lol. If anything I would start from the shoulder are and go down your arm, it would not only look better, but also be more logical (roots vs where it's going). I would rather come up with some unique and creative art that would represent each stage but also look interesting and beautiful without any context. It can also represent both something personal and SD stage, maybe your own journey through spiral dynamics. 2) I am not sure if making a spiral dynamics tattoo is a good idea altogether. It's just a model, no need to attach yourself to it that much. But again, that's just mine opinion, do whatever you want

@zeroISinfinity So nothing. I am free to not like it just as you are free to be a troll and do whatever the hell you want. It doesn't change the fact that there is nothing wise or conscious about what you are doing and that there are better ways of using a self-improvement forum.

@zeroISinfinity I just don't like it when people have "some fun" by being cynical and putting others down.

@zeroISinfinity What are you trying to say, that she doesn't deserve a guy like that? All your posts sound like: "haha, lower your standards and stop expecting so much". What's the point of doing that, so you can feel better about not being the top tier guy yourself?

Aren't you guys just playing with definitions here? "Bad boys", "nice guys", you just use those words as labels while freely assigning whatever character traits you wish to them. You probably can find millions of definitions of what a "bad boy" or a "nice guy" is. You use Trump as an example of a nice guy and it makes it really confusing because it's hard to find something "nice" about his personality. As you said yourself: he lies, cheats, treats people like shit, etc. How is that nice? And then you say that "nice guys" are fakey, always lie to you, have skeletons in their closets, etc. Again, how are they nice after that? Why not just call the things by their names? Why not just say: "I want to find some honest, strong and confident guy who I can trust and who will support me emotionally "? Or: "This guy is a total piece of shit liar who pretended to be nice to get close with me just to reveal his rotten personality afterwards"? I mean sure, saying "I like Bad Boys" definitely sounds cooler, but is there any other reason to use those simplistic and confusing labels? People are complicated and it's wrong to categorize them like that imo. @Preety_India Isn't that what you wanted all along: now, six months ago, a year ago and just used different definitions to describe that? I can't find the exact post of yours (since you have so many of them), but I remember that not so long ago you were making a post about how you are tired of asshole-type guys and just happy with your current boyfriend who may not be very alpha but is kind, caring and trustworthy.

Beautiful )) The first point is especially important in my opinion

@Karmadhi @Karmadhi I am not arguing about wether girls like ruthless killer guys or not. I was arguing with you saying that being a ruthless killer guy somehow benefits your survival value. I don't think it's the case, therefore I don't think that your argument about society punishing guys for things that increase their survival value is valid. But whatever, I just wanted to talk tbh

@Karmadhi but being ruthless detached dick could only work for hookups which don't really contribute to the survival value of most men. I think that for most people forming a healthy long term relationship will benefit their survival the most and being ruthless detached dick doesn't really help. It's actually the same with girls. You can be a complete bitch if all you care about are one night stands and attracting drunk guys in clubs.

@Karmadhi being strong, being a leader and being confident is also rewarded by society a lot

Yeah, I know, I just used it as a hypothetical example. I think you are right. It's important to fully trust each other in a relationship.

@Preety_India how appropriate is it to ask about a person's past in general? What if they are not comfortable with sharing something. Also, does it necessarily mean that they are a bad person if they hid something from you? I once was a friend with one girl who had attacked her school friend (who was a girl) and got persecuted in court for that (she didn't get any jail time, but had to do social work, like working in a soup kitchen as a punishment). And it didn't come until like two months of us knowing each other. I obviously didn't ask her if by any chance she had commited any crimes, and she also didn't want to mention it because she was afraid I would stop being friends with her or judge her for that. However, it was like two years ago and since then and she has changed a lot. What if I faced the same situation and we were not friends but were dating each other? Do you think I should have left her?

What about girls?

@Gesundheit why would you go on a date and just answer every question, even seemingly unimportant (like what do you think about the photo of that model) with lies?

@Preety_India thank you, that was extremely useful

@Preety_India ok, I see. How do you ask all of that without turning a date into an exam? How do you make it feel natural? Also, how soon after meeting a person should I ask important questions like these? I guess the first date isn't exactly the best timing, but I also wouldn't want to waste too much time on a wrong person.

@Preety_India how do you screen people? I see that phrase used quite often here, but I don't really understand what you should do to "screen" someone.

After reading all your comments yesterday I had two nightmares in a row where Leo started making dumb, low quality videos, haha. It was such a relief to wake up an see this Thanks Leo!

Hi I have made a thread about finding a best friend some time ago. Maybe answers people gave me there will help you as well:

I will try it today and post my experiences. Seems like a great technique, thank you for sharing it

Yes

Wow, why would your mom do that??? Also, just block him. It seems like you are afraid to block or reject him because you don't want to be rude, but there's nothing rude about not being interested in a person and not wanting to endure constant messages from them.

@Bando I just do a lot of things, sometimes very excessively, and it doesn't seem to be working...