BlackMaze

You shouldn't be deprived of any life's beauties. The only thing you need is the right balance. Too much hedonism is bad for you, being scared and avoiding hedonism is equally bad for you. One reason to not go all in in hedonism is that if you are not happy with some areas of your life you actually need to do stuff to change things. Of course there is such a thing as planning your future and life to become more of your liking. Nothing wrong about hedonism. It's just that if you are going to go overboard you have to accept the consequences first to not get surprised later. On the other hand you can plan and do whatever you want but it can happen that you have an accident one day and it's over. Everything in the end was meaningless, just an amazing dream. There is noone keeping a book about your actions. Noone to give you a prize or punish you after you are dead. You wouldn't have these ideas if you were born in another place or another time.

I would definitely add more protein like already suggested. A good quality peanut butter, almond butter or tahini is also something worth adding.

You could learn to memorize a deck of cards and do it as a daily concentration practice. I am currently working on it slowly. It's not so hard to learn it just takes some effort. I don't know how powerful this will be once i learn it but it makes sense that it could increase your brain power and concentration tremendously. Also sleep early enough to wake up without an alarm. Try to let your body decide how much you sleep. Cardio done regularly makes you smarter. Ginkgo biloba worked great for me but maybe it doesn't work the same for everyone. Also cold showers of course.. The best habit i ever had. Everytime you have brain fog or something like that just jump on the coldest setting for a minute or two.

@OctagonOctopus you are right being centered is the only solution. No thank god we are not on the same floor otherwise i would have found a way to leave already. @Nobody_Here thank you very much this really helps.

I want to take full responsibility. For everything. But what does this mean? My parents ruined my life. This is a fact. I did stupid shit but only because i went through a lot of shit and i still do to this day. There is no anger. There is no blaming really. It is what it is. It's not exactly apathy either. I dealt with this the best way possible. There is no emotional garbage in my system really. But i still have to deal with their shit. I want to take full responsibility but does this mean that i was at fault? Because i wasn't. This is a fucking fact. No grudges or anything. But a fact is a fact. Does taking responsibility mean that i say that the way my life is right now is my fault? Because that would be a lie. There is a book someone suggested me to read called mistakes were made but not by me. I haven't read it. If this book says that everything was my fault or something like this that would be a complete lie. It's the way it is i was unlucky. I also don't want to be a victim and have responsibility so how do i do this?

@Nobody_Here thank you for your answer. Yeah it's a bit complicated. My relationship with them is nothing like 10 years ago. It's just that they are really stupid and live for drama and always create problems. They don't even live together anymore. Even if i could leave right now i would feel like abandoning them the way they are. I do care about them but at the same time my life passes by and i am stuck. I guess the only option is to make enough money to earn my 'freedom' and help them at the same time. Or maybe like you said i am not responsible about them... Either way without money i am stuck here whether i like it or not.

Well thanks anyway. To be honest i'm not really sure what answer i expect to get. I'm feel trapped having to live here and i think that i have to take care of everyone sooner or later. My only plan to get out is getting rich with life purpose, investing and grinding at work. I already did that in the past not even talking to them for 3 years but here i am again. It sucks, i want to live my life and i am stuck here dealing with their shit. I don't have it as bad but i watch the years passing by while i stay stuck in here. I can't continue living like this for much longer. The only way out of this is money.

@OctagonOctopus ok maybe there is a bit of blaming left. I can't help it, i still have to deal with their emotional problems and stupidity. Every fucking day. I can't leave this place unless i have alot of money. Even if i have i feel that i need to support them financially. Cause we are poor and they are fucking stupid. I'm just tired of seeing their faces or hearing them talk. How long will this continue? I already lost so many years because of their stupidity. Should i take their responsibilities too? Cause i have a young sibling and it's the only person i really care about. I'm just bound to this fucking place dealing with their shit and not free to just go live my life alone how i want.

The majority of people are like this... This is the default mode. Just accept it and be happy that you don't belong to this group.

You basically understand their ego and how they think in the moment, where they are trapped in what special bubble. At the same time observe your thoughts, emotions and your own ego. Observe that you judge and that you think that you are superior in some way. They do the same. Everybody does it. The need to be right... Everyone defend their need to be right like it is their life. You are not this opinion or the smarter one or whatever. The others are not what they appear to be either. Everyone is dreaming. You are the same substance dreaming other dreams. Realizing this you can love the fools because you are too a fool. Everyone is a fool. Unless you happen to step out of foolishness for a bit and then return back to it.

Finding the right balance is key. You just do more of what is most important to you at every moment. You don't need to sacrifice pleasures. There is no right or wrong only consequences.

You need to be smart enough to realize *you* are not the smart one even if you are.

It's like weight lifting for spirituality i agree with that. If you do it with the right form that is.

This helps! Yes i do tend to hold my breath when thinking too much or do things.

I still don't know how i should breathe. I heard about belly breathing but i don't understand it fully. For example i was reading the way of the superior man where it was stated that the way to breathe is to breath all the way down to the genitals filling with air all the way up to the chest and while exhaling imagine the energy flowing through the spine to the head. In another book i read (i forgot the title something about personal magnetism) i remember reading that the way to breathe for maximum energy is to learn to replicate the recovery breath after crying for example the kind of breath that releases emotions. I practiced this a bit in the past and i could breathe this way. Then in another book i remember reading about an exercise that you imagine inhaling from the bones of your fingers. Everytime i do this a wave of energy flows to the body which is crazy. Another practice i read about is to completely let go of controlling the breath in any way and let it find its rhythm naturally. Breath is fascinating but i still don't know what is the optimal breath. Is it breathing from the belly? What does that even mean exactly? Is it taking the deepest breaths possible? Please let's agree on the best way possible to breathe because i wasn't very satisfied with my forum search. Maybe there is already a good post about this in here but i didn't find it.

Yes! Still it's a great tool. If it works it works even if this is the hidden reason we do it. I wouldn't stick to it if i didn't do it here even if a year ago this could seem crazy. I discovered things from every journal i kept but now i started using one note more to contemplate some stuff that don't need visibility.

I started feeling it. Took me a while Let's start the ride.

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Everyone has the same problem that have to figure out on each own. You can't do everything at once most likely. You have to find your priorities and stick to some things. If you lack energy or are unhealthy then your health is the most important thing to work on. Healing traumas/emotional mastery is the second in my experience at least. The third could be life purpose or reading books or whatever feels most important to you at the time.

@4201 this is how i think about this too. There is no way i could disprove the role of genetics of course that's why i leave it open as a possibility. I believe that the introvert/extrovert criteria is not important. Who doesn't think much? Everyone is lost in thought all the time just in different ways. Anyone can learn to go beyond thought but not many actually do it thus it's so rare. The people that suffer are more likely to go there if they have the knowledge how to do it and are serious. Escaping suffering is a big motivator to become serious but once there it's not about ending suffering anymore. You broke free because of this or because of years of spiritual practices and curiosity or through psychedelics. There are different paths for different people. Now there are people that practice for years without having any mystical experiences at all. I could argue that they just do something wrong. Or i am wrong and it has to do with genetics and that's just the way it is. It's difficult for me to buy that. If you can escape your mind for half a second with self inquiry for example you can awaken if you practice enough. If someone does spiritual practices for an hour everyday and then the other 23 hours forgets about it he will never awaken. Or if someone does a trip here and there instead of doing many trips and integrate the experiences for example. If you are not serious you cannot blame genetics. If you are doing it wrong you also can't blame genetics. If you check the above points and are getting nowhere then you can blame genetics but again there is no proof or a study about this. There is no way to be sure about this. If there is i am curious to understand how. But in the end even if it isn't about genetics maybe we don't have a choice in the matter. We can't really choose our experiences good or bad, our upbringing and the effects they have to our personality in order to do/take spirituality seriously.

I heard about something horrible that happened. That got me thinking. Is something like this predetermined? Has this something to do with the no free will thing? Or is everything just a random soup? Why did this child had to die in this way or to die at all? What is the god's perspective on this? Of course i could take this one step further and ask why did this chicken or ant had to die? The fact that i have a human body makes me to get more affected by something like this. So what is it? Infinite randomness or is there a purpose in something like this?

Pay half and buy an even better desktop pc

I feel the need to make this topic. Watching actualized videos almost every day for a year now i feel that my life and understanding are completely changed. Today it hit me as i happened to have one of the conversations that people avoid. About religion, society, science, survival etc.. My understanding is 100 times larger than a year before. My friends never questioned shit. Bit by bit i understand alot more about everything. I just assumed till now that others may think the way i do but i was wrong. Everyday slowly i am becoming less foolish. This work helps to change society on a small scale. I know that you don't get affected by praise but just know that a lot of people really appreciate your work. I just had to say it because i felt like saying it.

I agree the last video was amazing. Very practical.