BlackMaze

When you can't afford literally nothing feeling like garbage describes it perfectly. You need to suck it up and work with the worst conditions and pay, often with really stupid employers. IF you are lucky enough to find something. You just hate your life. When you have a good income after this you appreciate it. You work harder than locals because you suddenly earn alot more than what you thought is possible. You may earn more but most of the time toxic managers and colleagues will suck your blood. If you learn something like i did spending 4 years you will pay it with your health. I can get a good salary and go at better companies but honestly i am not sure if it was worth it. Studying was of course never a possibility for me even though i am perfectly capable to study. Maybe i am too negative about this i should be more grateful. I am just sick of everything.

There are countries that have systems in place that set you up for good from a young age. There are other countries that if you are poor and not have the family's support you are basically doomed. At the very best you will barely survive. I was born in such a country. I lived it. You are totally capable and society throws you in the trash. You feel like garbage. You need to humiliate yourself to eat. Even if you are a hard worker with 0 support behind you, you could be working 7/7 10 hours and barely survive. The bosses know how much power they have and behave like slave masters. They abuse their workers and pay close to nothing if they pay at all. You know there is a problem and how big it is when for a stupid job show up 40 people. There are jobs but if you are poor long enough you are not good enough for them. After all 100 people wait in line. Then there are the other countries. These countries won't let you die. They have good systems in place and if you really want to work you will. With no skills you will earn minimum wage which is 3-4 times of course higher. Still not enough in many cases but you will not die. The thing is they can let you work to death and they often do. The last 5 years. At least 3 people i knew their faces died from heart attack at age 50 at work. Your life is your work. You can afford more stuff and food but you are a slave. Those that have the highest possitions in big companies are workaholics alcoholics. Of course you also have the chance to have an education and if you do you can find something comfortable. I hate both alternatives. I was hungry in the past but also worked myself to sickness.

I will a have a job interview for a job that i want and need. So far i have been more honest in interviews than i should even if i try not to. What does someone that hires people want to hear?

I do an MRI regularly 2 times/year. Is it something that should be avoided? What are the risks? I thought it was safe or at least a 100 times safer than x-rays. Is the contrast fluid which is dangerous?

@JonasVE12 good post thank you.

@Thought Art this is good advice for life purpose maybe but not necessarily for a job. I already have skills that at least some people are willing to pay for. It's just that i hate this country, these jobs and the people i interact with. I was convincing enough to schedule a test day. I need a stable job that earns me good enough money and other than that i will focus on what is important. My goal is to work for myself one day. I hate being an employee. I'm nowhere near accomplishing this.

@Raphael i'm not going to escape wage slavery no matter how much experience i get. The only thing this could give me is a somewhat bigger salary. To work on something aside is one of the plans. To invest is another plan. To work some years to leave this country is a third plan. @Nahm You are right... I should enjoy it. This is the solution. I just don't feel so big at the moment. I keep preferring to complain it seems. I had to take a nap first to understand what you meant. The moving from point a to point b.

@Raphael yeah i know but the thing is that i don't care about this kind of jobs. I could have more career capital if i wanted to but i just want something that pays good enough and it's close to me. I got sick of all of it already in my training. The goal is to escape jobs not to get a better job.

@Mada_ thank you!

@Nahm thank you for actually sharing a process on how to do this. I will keep practicing it.

I mean i believe i do but maybe i don't always. Is daily contemplation all that is needed? Constant contemplation? How do i make sure that i am thinking for myself? And what is a definition of this exactly? For one it should be the absence of beliefs but then what do i do exactly? Do i make a building of my own conclusions to look at the world from? This doesn't sound right. Is it just about understanding more every day?

@Nahm this has been extremely helpful and practical. "A sand which" this was great. I get it now thank you. This is my try. I want to quit smoking. If i go deeper in this i could say i don't want to be a slave to an addiction that destroys my health. Then i could go deeper and say i want to be healthy. Then even deeper i could say that i don't want to hate my life. I hate my life because i can't tolerate people anymore. Everybody sucks. Why do they suck? Because they are petty and selfish. I am too but not at the degree that most people are. I still have the belief of people that i haven't let go off so i leave it there for now. What do i want? I want them to be different but this will probably never happen. Therefore i should accept it and learn to live with it without ever be bothered again. After all we are the same thing and this is a game. Every moment happens something unexpected. I could understand why people are the way they are and do the things they do and what i should be doing. But i know what is going on more or less. I chose to be like them because the alternative is scary. I chose to be the same thing that i find repulsive. Maybe finding selfishness in people is so repulsive because of traumas that i healed only 95% So how do i quit smoking? By deciding to become spiritual. By being comfortable with every emotion that arises no matter how powerful. By focusing on the positives and maybe focusing on working out and being in great shape again. But then maybe my unfulfilled desires will keep me where i am. Does this mean that i have to fulfill all my desires to quit smoking? The only solution is to focus on quitting with everything i have. But this will just give significance to smoking making me think that i give something up. But its the only way. 3 weeks and it's over. But the desire to quit smoking is not my genuine desire. This is why i keep failing. What do i want? I want happiness. I don't know what happiness means. I could read a book. I want good friends, a good relationship and my family to be doing good. I can't rely on these things. Not everything is completely in my control even if do all that i can. What do these things offer me? Just a feeling of joy. A smile on my face. The space to enjoy life. But then eventually a manager or someone else will show up being a dick and i will fall into stress and uneasiness mode, hating my life reaching for my tobacco. I can make a million and escape this but it will take years. Another stressful thought, another cigarette. I can't continue being controlled from stressful thoughts and stupid people. I want to not let anyone to have any control over my emotions, psychology and actions. I want to have control over this. I want to feel extremely good in my body with energy flowing. I want to creatively direct this energy. Ok this is way more powerful than i imagined. Thank you for your answers everyone.

High quality post!

@Adrian325 This may be the case and maybe it comes from your experience. The only problem i have with this is the 1000 times i read it in this forum alone. I don't say that everybody does it but the majority just parrot it. It also doesn't answer the question exactly but my question got already answered and the answer is to stop asking others for answers and contemplate. I will go with that.

@JosephKnecht i enjoyed reading this.

Was this a thought that came from your experience? @sethman you are right thank you.

I suspected this was the answer as i was writing the question. @kinesin this sounds good, you are right. Why not do both though? I learned about a concentration exercise called productive meditation. As i understand it you could also call it contemplation in your head. I could hit 2 birds with one stone with this but writing is also great. You can have everything organized in one place and i personally am better at thinking when i write stuff down. In the end any amount of contemplation i do is good. The more the better. Practices are good of course but living the practice is better is what i learned so far. For example gratitude. You make a gratitude list in the morning for 10 minutes and you think you are doing something. It's better than nothing that's for sure. The way i practiced gratitude in the past was in my head and all day long. Giving thanks for everything. That felt almost spiritual when i did it. Yeah i will have some benefits from contemplation if i do it for some minutes everyday but i suspect that the extreme benefits appear when it's a way of living. Like meditation. Or self inquiry. But of course from doing nothing the next best thing is to have a daily practice.

Tricking and forcing yourself will get you nowhere. You will only fight against the resistance that you are building unnecessarily to the point that you can't take it anymore and quit. Or you persist and you become neurotic. This is the wrong mindset. You need to focus on creating what you want to create. You need to become inspired. You form a vision of what you want and you also look honestly at your current situation. Then you bridge the gap. You connect the 2 points. You can start in the area that you need change most badly. It could be your health or something else. If your health is not optimal i would start there. It's the foundation for everything else. Physical and psychological. It's better to focus on one area at a time but i understand the urge to want to do everything at once. I have a habit tracker app that i wrote every good behavior i could be doing. I just put a checkmark everyday on the things i do. You could learn about mini habits. It's a powerful idea that says to do every single day at least the absolute minimum of the habit you want to have. If you want to read you could read only one line from a book and that would be a win for the day. It's by far the best way to start habits. That said habits belong to the mindset of forcing yourself to do things. I let go of the idea of habits. I am not forcing anything. I may stay lazy and that's ok. I am looking for inspiration and to find the joy and meaning in the behavior because then no tricking and forcing myself will be needed.

Usa. The only place you are afraid to go to the doctor for the wrong reasons. And then i hear Americans say that their country is the best place to live in the world like this change my mind stupid dude.

@Dodo i struggle to understand but thank you for trying to clarify.

I don't necessarily disagree but as the video you posted says don't you project all of this right now? I don't speak only for you personally but also for me and everyone. If you have a worldview for 25 years and you find out one day that you were wrong in some way would you be strong enough to admit that you were wrong? Because this is what i got from the video. Just because your whole life you built an ego when you find out that it's an illusion will you close your eyes and pretend that it's not true? Because the other option is scary. He admitted that he wasted 25 years of his life. This is ego shuttering. Very few people have the balls to accept something like this.

This is a good video. Of course you will find what you have projected. The solution is to stop projecting and to catch your ego trying to become bigger in subtle ways. When you just are, doing good comes naturally. There is no need to fight for good. There is only understanding of the darkness and you are light that dissolves it naturally without being a soldier that fights anything.

Which are visualization, thinking about death, affirmations, values and strengths evaluation and i would add concentration practice to the mix because it's very important. But yeah i understand that it's extremely hard to do those every day. The most important thing if i had to choose is to contemplate your life purpose. Of course i was lazy and didn't do it but think about the snowball effect this has. Only 10' contemplating your life purpose one time is powerful. Think about doing this for 2 years without skipping a day. There is no way that you will not find a way to refine and realize your purpose. If i am breaking a rule please hide my post.

Haha. It's a lot more exercises than the above to do daily. If you are serious you will do each one of them. I was lazy didn't do them for long and now i regretted it and retaking the course slowly with the purpose of extracting every drop of value from it by taking notes and contemplating stuff. Because it's so hard i avoid doing it. If you really want to belong to the 5% you have better chances by doing all the exercises daily. The ones you skipped also.

@Dodo of course this is just my world view and the truth is i don't really know. Do you really believe that our egos are so important however? Why is our life more important than a chicken's life? We behave as animals most of the time the majority of us. Sure we can reach a point where we go beyond our animal nature but this is very rare. Who decides what is good and what is bad. If we are one thing there is only you deciding that. If there is only the now then heaven and hell exist always in the now and not in the future after your death. Of course i never realized this for myself but maybe there is no death and no getting born. The dream will just continue and take other forms but as you said we have incomplete information. I too have seen angels on a salvia trip. Would i see them if i never had a concept of angels? Who knows. Is it really important if angels and demons exist?