BlackMaze

You watch too much anime. But yeah go for it.

You don't exist. This is what this means.

For example work out instead. I still haven't quited but now that i am working out seriously, i am much closer to quitting. But other than that no clue. The only thing i learned is that willpower is not the right solution. Even if you succeed you will be miserable. Better keep smoking if you miss your cigarettes everyday and cry about it. You have to want it. The stupidest trap there is and yet here we are.

Finding an alternative.

There is category of books in the booklist that i haven't read.

Look. The next moment someone could come and punch you really hard several times to wake you up again. This is not a random example this happened to me. Life goes on, you can be on the clouds but a car can hit you. Other people, situations and laws of physics don't change as long as you are here as a human body.

But then you wouldn't be able to turn water into wine would you?

Of course not. If he was he wouldn't be such a diva and he would take that medal and the million dollars. What i mean by that. He looks down upon such things because he wants to show that he is above them. His ego is big. So smart at math and yet so stupid to not take a million dollars for his work just to protect the identity he built for himself.

Drop the phrases. Self inquiry is not about asking and answering, is about being meta and recognizing what this feels like and staying there as long as possible until it's your normal state.

Exactly. Maybe he would use aikido though. That's something that most people don't consider. No you would sit there enlightened unable to become a killing machine to protect yourself. Most likely. Unless you are conscious of this real life enlightenment problem and are prepared beforehand on how to act in this kind of situations.

Start working out. Also have a hobby you are mastering the more creative it is the better.

Try it once if you want. Don't go for more than 10x extract. This shit is so interesting and yet dangerous for your mental health. The things you experience are no joke but it won't do much for your understanding if you are not very advanced with this work. It's not a pleasurable experience at all.

It's a skill based game. It isn't worth the grind. It's a waste of time. But it's fun and has things to teach you like dealing with tilt and patience. Build a platform? The are already huge players there hard to compete with. Unless it's something very new and original.

Wow this was amazing. As i had the experience of this for many years i can say that you nailed it. It's a tough situation that people without such an experience simply can't grasp.

Shamanic breathing, self deep massage and yoga. Yoga with adriene is a good youtube channel. Meditation. Running and stretching alot. Healthy diet.. 5 fruits and a salad every single day. Wimhof method. Reading the books about emotional mastery from the booklist. Just choose something from all these options. There are many others i'm sure.

Loving your parents at their worst without reacting to their bs. You just observe their limitations as observing your own and understand that almost everyone is possessed. Not saying to become a doormat. This is like emotional deadlifts. There you have it. Of course its the hardest thing there is in many cases.

Hey man. You already took the first step from stepping out from the situation you are in. That is putting it into words and asking for help. I can't imagine the pain you are in. Take the next small step and the next. If you feel you reached the bottom the only way is upwards. The fact that you are here made an account and asked for help means that you also have the potential to completely transform your life step by step in a year from now. Get excited about that instead. Focus on health, start a journal, do some shamanic breathing, start taking cold showers. Man there are so many things you can do to feel 100 times better and at some point even feel great. I know it's hard to see this from the position you are in right now but it's the truth. All these people here are constantly growing myself included. We learn stuff all the time. Do the same. Just believe that what we are saying is true. Read whatever book from the booklist interests you. To give up is foolish. Everyone has an infinite growth potential and it's never too late. Forget about women for now. Like mentioned getting an escort might be a good first step to heal. Get physically and mentally healthy first and then you will be able to create anything you want including a relationship.

@r0ckyreed can't you see that figuring out wheter or not free will exists because its important is also a bias? No life is life and mental masturbation may be mixed with it or not. How can i wake up without an interest to contemplate? First of all you assumed this and second yes it's true that i don't because my focus is elsewhere. Me saying that i don't care about it and that it's mental masturbation comes from having this question at the back of my mind for some months. It both exists and not exist. That's why enough with the strokes.

I decided that i don't care. This is mental masturbation. It doesn't change anything whatever the case.

I am more apathetic than most people so it's less than 10. Lately i am thinking that my time here as this self is limited. People die at young age. Who knows when you will die. Yet we are afraid to live fully. Embarrassed to be open and speak truth. In the end it doesn't ever matter Linkin Park. You could die before dying.. But i like the dream. Maybe the reason i am here is to enjoy the dream. Maybe my real self plays sims and i am the character. Sims is a very spiritual game if you think about it. For example when i played it many years ago i used to make rooms without doors or make them swim to death and found it funny. The higher self is just having fun fulfilling needs, taking a promotion or developing relationships. When you are aware that you are the sim you can have the most fun. You are then the game character and the one that controls the character at the same time. You can even create the sims game within this game. So yeah fuck fear have fun.

I was the least likely person to become a smoker and yet life did its best to make me very addicted. That's the only thing. I am grateful for every other bs in my life.

For me it was something in between. I don't know what this feels like. I don't really crave traditional values to be honest. I don't like the feeling of being tied down. Have a stable grindy job and take care of my kids and pay a loan, drink on weekends, watch tv etc. No thanks. I prefer something more adventurous but family is something that i might consider when i am 35-40

@PurpleTree yeah.. In other words if you have a vision and want to realize it bad enough the pushing yourself is going to be enjoyable. Spit fucking blood. You will enjoy it. Feel the fire lol. We are all looking for this inspiration but i don't think you can force it to occur. If it's there then ride it.

Extremely push yourself but only if you are feeling it.

Millenials are the smartest generation so far. It's the generation that can most clearly see the bs around. Life is unfair, deal with it. It depends on how you grow up. Your life being hard is a blessing in disguise. The earlier it happens the better. The faster you grow. The wimp stage you described is a necessary step. It's a phase that someone goes throught at hard times. Some people go through several such stages earlier and are done with it. If you face your first hardship at 30 for example because you were born in a privileged environment you are fucked. It just means that you lack the growth that you could have had earlier. Disappointments? They are the disappointments. We can just see their bs and don't want to be part of it. So yeah if you can't find meaning in what motivated your parents you will need some time to figure out what inspiration means and until then you might just do drugs and play video games.