Manusia

@NoSelfSelf?

@Preety_India This totally me. Sometimes I try to context some situation in happy cheerful manner. And I got shame after conversation. Folks didn't take me seriously again. Socially unaware sometimes.

Glad I found one of my inner core. But this is cheerful attitude towards life. Optimistic and have desire to empowering others. But sometimes my cheerful goes beyond its control. Unaware of it, sometimes I just be happy with how I talk and behave. Not looking what the situation call. Don't mistaken with ignorant. It is not. Just energized cheerful smile hopeful core. The problem I face is most people around me not happy and optimistic in how they see the world. And I am oftentimes hurt them with my cheerfulness, their reaction sometimes make me down. Oh yes this cheerfulness make random thinking because it have creative essence, often times I talk outside the context. And maybe I don't think to far before I act, think and say. I just want to experience cheerful vibe without conscious thinking. I just found the answer right now why people often times hate me being cheerful when I typing this hahah. I wont give up this cheerfulness that lost in me even the world crumble, the feeling of repressed cheerful make weird energy in my body and mind. I would be cheerful, hopeful no and optimistic no matter what. And in dating, I want your answer girl.. Is being cheerful is make a men less masculine? And is it make him less attractive?

@FandangoUnreal engine?

Curious how Atomic Habits book by James Clear work for you.

Anyway, can you elaborate on number 3?

Good bro. Respect ? Number 2 & 3 is gold.

Thick face black heart by Chin Ning Chu.

@Asayake yes I know. I buy it and I read it. The book is even the best seller in my own country for long time. The book is very orange. Just curious how it affect people here.

What I experience: Understanding how unconscious create its own meaning. Its deconstructing process. What is deconstructing point? To understand its own meaning and how meaning works. How 'it' was frame. 'It' can be anything that mind interpert. The meaning under the unconscious oftentimes I found correlated between 1 point and another point. The meaning deconstructing process feels natural, like the meaning maker just want to see what the meaning that lay below the surface. Meaning maker cannot see lies because to create lie is process of creating which is the process that one want to deconstruct. I don't want to call this process deconstructing but I cannot found more right phase either. I totally sober. Experience for a while and I try to write what it was.

How do you know if your act and thinking is authenticly you .. Not faking, repression, conditioning, trauma, etc? How one aware of this?

@gettoeflThis exactly what I discover.. you remind me that I am not crazy thinking that I have literal 2 mode of personalities. The wounds is so so much healed. What this concept come from? Is Jung?

@Leo Gura I go this path before. I found love. I found reality. I found completeness. Pure beauty. But back to the normal day, it not integrate. And do very little about.. Hey, its that what I really want? I want it but, this human need doing some 'urge' before it merge again.

@Kksd74628 I have been doing kind of retreat in past weeks.. But still with my phone and gaming. Not fully. The result was awesome, I think I lost lot of garbage that I think it 'would be' useful to me. But its not, it's not even from my independent thought. I do letting go like what say. My mind getting lighter, I don't want to engage in stupid stuff. My happiness raised. And I found what I desire, beauty. But somehow I felt weakened, my energy kind a low.. I feel not like a man.

So there is no concept of true self or true core energy if you take this value and beliefs? Because its like you make it out, not discover within. What do you think?

@Vincent S nice take brother. Directly shot one bird in my mind. Make me connect my experience.

@Raptorsin7kindly share this video in my DM. The technique is pretty weird but works. https://youtu.be/bJ3JKM4VyKs

I want to discover my essence of masculine more and more. I feel like I underdeveloped it due to conditioning. It doesn't feel right to operate in more feminine way. Anyone have any recommendation of some kind of youtube channel or book to read to discover and develop inner masculinity? Thanks. @ivankiss I read about some of your journal and it is very warm bright masculine core. I respect your energy. Can you give me some guidance to discover and develop my own masculinity?

The not knowing feels uncomfortable.

Your intuition is good damn well. My first time people know well the feeling of my deep shit haha. My pain feel heared and I am happy about it What do you think about not having people that I belong? Since child I feel somewhat outsider, no one feel like home. And this is cause so much stress in myself. There is no space to be myself. I am constantly become someone else just to be accepted and have people to talk to. No one interested with my thinking and people talking about me behind that I am lil bit weird. It hurts me. When I meet people that I feel safe with them, it's very rare occasion. But the conversation is always deep, meaningful and full of empathy. Weirdly, just observe them or be near them.. I can learn something.

@KoryKat Ohh maybe my experience its like yellow thinking process, because it is very logical and meta feature is activated. My glimpse not like your explanation which is very torquise.

@Kksd74628 Good point. Your words gave me chills. I also have some fear with this. And at this point I want to discover what is my nature. How I work psychologically.. What is my core self.. And I want the truth.. I sense that I deluded myself of how I think I am is. It take some time to think and feel this. It take consciousness. I found you right. This feeling is okay for me to feel and I am fine feeling this. My lower body feel more relaxed, some energy liberated, wow!

@Kksd74628 I love your sensitivity. Actually my body very tense right now, especially in my foot. Sometimes I unaware how tense it is and my feet move up little bit for so long. What I resist? My energy feel resisting something, but I find nothing when I explore my mind. I am in new city and this is like new phase of my life when I let all of things behind. The way I think is so much different, maybe in this phase I can say now I can think independently .. and obviously new way of living since I learn not to dependence from my parents financially. Maybe this is something correlated with my relationship with my ex, since I mold so much for her just to have a relationship with her. My way of thinking and what I like and dislike become like her just to survive the relationship. I become more isolated and more 'not me'. Now it's not I moving from that because some of it actually I need for my self. Now it's like integrating the lesson to say. I don't know how to dig in my mind anymore.

Thanks brah, it give me some comfort of not knowing is natural and I am not insane with this chaotic energy in my body.

When you do your own nose work. Basically you can smell the scent of people that want to actualizing I have been thinking about this lately and it is make sense.. With hastag people can see you from value you given in to the hastag. Not all actualizer ppl irl anally go in life without entertainment of TikTok.. If you make one let us know!