Manusia

For me, creativity need space. Creativity need an abundant space, free space. Free from toxic mind, free from belief what should be done to be good, and most of all free from fear. Creativity is a child mind, be childish in the way to think. Creativity need safe space to grow little by little, at the first you can learn basic technique and imitate people. But when creativity energy start blossom to your heart, free yourself from the 'herd creativity'. They say its creative stuff but it isn't really. And follow your own heart to express itself, show yourself with authentic voice. Voice of your soul.

love your words!

Im INTP (22). I know thats feeling is really suck. When I try to fit in, I just never feel 'right' and you right, its not healthy. Always got some weirdness in my mind when I going around too long with wrong people. Now I'm trying dating and use Tinder, it doesn't fill my loneliness.

This is very surprising information, I think all of people can easily have mental imagery about stuff. Someone in the forum that have Aphatasia had ability to imagine before but since she doesn't do that again the ability is gone. I suspect psychedelic can help in some extend because its really visual trip. Anyone know better about how cure this?

Water fasting is you not eat anything at all, but you can drink water only. This channel proved that too in the phase!

In my case I do water fasting for 3 days. No foodie craving anymore after that.

Yeah you right. Even that he have some balls. You know what, I become 10X more confident when I try to playing games attracting woman when I have girlfriend. But when Im single, needy as fawc.

@Tetcher Thats kick my gratitude level up. She had sad story and inspiring at the same time. She is strong.

Share this video because I think this really give a hit in awareness of a mental health after abuse. Some people really can be crazy, and in the other side of the story.. there is unfilled love cup for the soul. "Children who suffer abuse tend to feel guilty for being born" ― Kayoko Kurihara They need to carry heavy burden since child? And they got blame because there something wrong about them? This is really problematic thing and I think this issue need to be held continous campaign as big as Black Lives matter campaign. “Those who are hardest to love need it the most.” ― Socrates I really hold Socrates word about it.

I know what is like, but I think we need some more background story about your workplace. Sometimes its really hard to do that habit to not care because your enviroment is really toxic and the people personality in the enviroment is just not really make the change possible. I have that issue too last year and man, I know that its really hard, emotional roller coaster everywhere and everytime. Doubt, self critical, shame is just my demon friend. And Its really kill my own reality dude, I just become machine of emotional neurosis if you related tho. I gradually change my habit to become doesn't care, I have some new belief when I really tired of all that inner suffering.. 'I doesnt care about shit, I just express my value the way it is. Fuck it'. 'Im not the people that really can supress my inner value'. 'Say what I need to say'. 'Be you be authentic'. 'Follow intuition'. Now I become less care about what other people think, and its all about let go the overthinking. Observe the overthinking process in your own, just label it.. this is overthinking process.. and let it go. When it come again, let it go, let it go. Its like muscle to develop I think, in the beginning phase I know you will slack off to your old habit. Just pushing through, just pushing through. Eventually you can really let it go man. It just one technique. Actually in my bigger picture problem is about I not be my true self, not embracing and holding my true value. And then one of the ramification problem is like in your case, overly think what others people think. When I aware of my true value and express it the way it is as possible, I just really dont give a fuck man about what other think. When I be myself with my full heart, I have no afraid to step. Its about knowing myself and expressing it. And all the little problem goes away. Still in the process of healing but now I really see the beneficial. Be yourself motto is real my friend. I just say what I learn in my journey, hope you can find some solution to help your problem. I know its really unsatisfying way to doing anything. Its just feel suck. But do what you need to do to unwire that. Its rewarding!

I see your video. As a photographer and videographer I recommend you to upgrade your lighting and audio first. And the last upgrade is the camera because your pixel is actually already have beautiful camera. Just make sure you have sufficient lighting so it wont make a lot of image noise (your last video). Phone camera have very small sensor so lighting is very important. You can buy lightbox and diffuser. Make sure you dont have a back light very much, the viewers wont watch your full video if its distracting. I recommend you take lighting gear from Aperture, it cheap and have really good quality. I dont have vary experience with sound management. I use Boya M1 and its really good so far. My voice recorded with Boya M1 is bit more bass in the good way. So far all Boya product that I ever use is good for value.

SD value identification : 1. Purple 2% •Awareness about some sort unexplainable being outside what human see. I usually just avoid it if it have some weird energy. • Unknown ability that I have. I can see some fact that beneath the surface of some stuff. But it really deep that need a big context to frame it. It gave me lot of trouble because the knowing distract me from what I really need to do in front of me. A shaman says the ability is a gift from your ancestor. But didnt explore it yet. I stop exploring it because it always attracting lot of bad energy to me. They can go inside my body and mind. 2. Red 10% Addiction of fap. Still need to be more bold and solid. 3. Blue 20% I have a lot of blue magnet because my country still filled up with lots of blue people. I still have a blue shadow.. but its really small percentage, like trauma trigger in pleasing others and conformity triggers. Still work on it. 4. Orange 30% Sometimes overlogical, and my mind is just rolling over and over. But now I assume its healed. 5. Green 45% In the progress of Anima integration I feel my heart chakra healed gradually. Im not afraid to feel as before. I become more authentic because I expresses my Anima feminity. In some sense It I become more masculine because Im not afraid to feel and be open to the present moment. I learn a lot of green value from Instagram. They really good doing their campaign. 6. Yellow 3% Yeah I keep watching and watching Leo video and learning to connect the dots. In my experience I can use my visualization to do the system thinking. The Diamond Net youtube channel is yellow based too.. Started to watch her vids. I really resonate with her. She is beautifully mature.

Sorry for my grammatical and vocabulary error. Didn't use english very much.

This year has been doing lot of stuff : 1. I realized so much more how I am as an ego. Numerology is the big guy in this realization. My attitude with reality now is really different. I aligned all my doing in my real self. Some backstory, I have lot of personality in my life. I use that to avoid lot of emotional wound. In some situation I can become really different person. 2. I walk out from my 4 years relationship. My relationship was really feels wrong for me. My intuition keeps telling me go out, go out, its enough, you forced it. But my mind is always not accept it. I always try to make it better. But eventually its all the same cycle, its all painful every single day like drop water purring my head every single second. I repressed my inner self and depressed. Now I knew I can't be mold so much in relationship. The good thing from that pain I found Leo, I found my inner deep value and have lot of healing from my girlfriend (ironically). Even my ex give lot of suffering in 4 years. I learned a lot. I heal a lot. I have thicker skin. In my eyes my ex is a hero healer of my journey. 3. I speak up to my father and mother. For all of the inequality that happened to me. How they treat me so ignorantly. Show they how they make me have my bad trauma. My mother cry at that time because I use really high tone voice. I surpressed all that feeling resentment for 22 years. The situation is really gloomy for a weeks. But now it goes lot better than I exepcted. Our relationship be much deeper. And now I feel heared than ever before! The lesson is speak own truth, be in relationship with people with your own deep truth. 4. The fall of the blue value. Now I just get enough of blue. I dont know. I just feel really bad even from people with blue smell. My country is pretty dang blue. I indoctrinated with blue value since birth. I have a hard time to understanding how world works because lot of conformity trauma. I dont have any independent thinking. In my subconscious I just need to obey because it feels really save. Obey obey obey. Be kind of lot of people even they doing stupid stuff for you. Your voice doesnt matter if it can ruin the commumal dynamic. And lot lot lot of bullshit value that I absorbed. I just get enough now. I just want to be my authentic self. I dont care if it hurts your conformity and dogma. I want to say anything that I wanted to say. I hate you blue. Fuck blue authority. 5. The rise of Anima, finding my shadow masculinity. I never aware how my masculinity is so toxic. I always assume that I never be toxic in my masculinity aspect. But all of my assumption is burned out after I watched video from The Diamond Net channel down below. (Try to watch it, can be life transforming to you!) I track all of what she said in my awareness. Then I have a healing sensation in my body. I sucessfully talk to my Anima. And wow its really beautiful! The ramification of unawareness Anima is the big obstacle in my development of consciousness. I place my anima in my shadow before and its becoming really dark devillish. Right now I still doing Anima integration. My attitude is changing from seeing that one video from the channel. Its feel more than little change, its like big transformation. People now act differently when I try talk to them. Before this, people just try avoiding conversation after we spent some time talking and I dont know why lol. I know I have some flaw but I never find it. I constantly changing my content when talking to people give hope it will help. Sure it help in some small extend. But this.. this structural change in my psyche. That video is really good I wonder why Leo didn't put Anima and Animus to the channel.

This year becoming new beginning for me. Lot of work I do to my personal life but anything never seems to works. Same problem still occuring. My way of thinking doesn't seems to be different, I feel I just masking my development. My always mind says yes I'm improving. In the reality all still same. Even I use psychedelic and have lot of really hard stuff about conscioussness and seems all connected. My mind transcended for some day every using shrooms, eventually all goes to the same ground. Yeah I see lot of my stubborn trauma in communication and self esteem improved, but the bottom ground doesn't go high enough to say its really work out. I admit psychedelic really give me the bigger picture of all Leo's work and make me stick to do the work. (I really recommend you use shroom if you not take it before, every I use that always reveal part of truth, and for me its really useful to take it at least one a year because it make the mind more flexible to do more self development).

Btw when I buy the alcohol I buy it in some sort of place that is hidden from main the street. Yeah ofc because my country is very islamic religious. Alcohol is red flag for the communities. People in the shop literally have some love and understanding of pain in some way. I just feel the vibe, the tonality of their voice. They like stage orange/green and some reddish paint too. They have lot of tatto in the body and face. But I did'nt afraid of that kind of 'bad people', I just feel their prescence is somehow warm. If I have really bad day I think they will understand me more than my own family. I honestly more afraid with moralistic and dogmaticly blue people. And like want to punch their identitiy at the same time, I have lot of resentment to that kind of people.

Yep that's caption its really tell the stories. For me autenticity become big bummer in my life. I can't really say what I say, do what I really want to do. I grew in Asian family stage pretty dang blue... until last 3 years, now the SD become more orange look. Inauthenticity rob my masculinity, joy, awareness, love, communication skill, trauma, lot of monkey mind, lying to the self, Self trust issue and many more. That's really shit. Even my happiness, I oftenly convienced that I'm happy in particular moment. I have lucky to go to the collage and separated from my family, I heal a lot without my family. Meet lot of people with different stage of ego development and background. And I find my girlfriend (that now became my ex), she is very loving and intellegence. She have a lot of issue from abusive family too, she heal me in many ways that I didnt aware that time. Yeah lots of stories that I didnt tell here but.. Now I'm drunk from my wine. Its feel's really airy. I dont know but my ordinary life feels lifeless compare to this state of drunk. I feel more loving, I let go of all my worry, all my mental scars and lot of attachment. I just let go of it and enjoy of what in front of me, enjoying moment. Every moment I can enjoy. Yeah I know I have some unconsciouss manner but in other hand I feel this state of drunk is better than my ordinary life. Life with lot of brainwashing through social media. That's even worse than drunk with wine. That's even more unloving. I dont know but even when I drunk I still be able to become conscious to what the drunk people should avoid to do lol. Yeah this wine and beer is amazing. I'm drunk. But more loving

Yeah alcohol and authenticity is relatable but did I really can grasp the lesson after sober?

Yeah I wake up in the floor with my stomach hurt because I'm drinking too much. But that is nice experience to have, Remembering you can be bold, be full of yourself. In some sense my psychedelic experience rising up, I devalue 'other perspective' so much until almost there is no other perspective than yours. In sobering up I realize I create other people perspective in my head, I totally aware I valuing that up, making it more-more of perspective and they became eye to me. I feel I need to please all of that. Ex people pleaser tendencies still kick in sometimes.

Idk but drunk can be veichle of self develipment even spiritual understanding in my pov.

Yeah I realized I really suppressed lot of things here. Drunk really help me a lot to do shadow work so to speak. Yeah so the other side of me appeared in my consciousness, my drunk self really doesnt drunk at all. My drunk self remind me a lot of things, say some bold stuff to other people and really doesnt care about what other people think. My drunk self remind me that I need to say what I need to say, do what I need to do. And even thinking in other side of perspective in this drunk state did'nt exist. You just full of your self, and at the same time you don't try to deny it. You just become you, be yourself at the moment. This drunk experienc is just amazing, im connected to my other self and talk to them. Its just crazy. I dont know but other people seems to want to talk to me. I dunno but I seems to be magnetic. I dont care about other feelings, even other feelings doesnt exist in my dictionary. Yeah I know its dangerous to drive motorcycle when drunk, but I just do it without any doubt. I know the risk and take it wilth boldy move. Im still drunk and I wanna eat all meals that I buy. Yeah.

What is this love that I really searching for? I wonder so many times. What is exactly the love that will fill the gap in our soul?

I found love in this state. Not some sort high intellegence love but just love that I not recieve in long time. I move like crazy but my heart full of love.

Drunk insight : Seeking validation from social media is a fucking spritual sucking mechanism. I will not come back really alive after it.

I think your'e not irrational. You just sense the vibe and just it. It's real and don't deny it. I felt what you literally felt. I have lot of common stories like what you have, raised in very traditional family and yeah, that's really sucks. When you're going to spiritual work and personal development and back to the family hood, your vibe would crash because sense of conformity is really high in family, that exact vibe will drawn all your development back to their level if you not aware. Got you bro. In some time you need have your independence voice too, to step up and walk away from your family if they are reallly toxic from their bones. I done some radical voice to my family too and my action trigger lot of my parents unawareness too. They even crying and have different atitude afterthat. Follow what your inner self talk need to be done