Tian

I actually didn't fully read it before the post. She literally adresses all the things I posted lol That's an elegant way of putting it

Hi. I don't see much discussion about copycats around here. I start this thread because this was a big issue to me in the past and I had some realization about it that helped me not feel attacked. Maybe these realizations and some of your constructive comments will help someone with this issue to get the ball rolling in terms of clarity about their situation. Here's my list 1. If I feel like I'm being copied, I'm not creative enough. I know it sounds like a contradiction but bear with me. When ideas hit me and I don't follow up on them, it feels to me like the idea decided to go to some other person. When this person then decides to realized the idea, I feel like I have been copied. So be creative. Be sensitive about when inspiration hits you. That leads into my second realization. 2. Ideas aren't yours. They float around in reality and want to get created. Similar to the first realization. Just wanted to add this reframe to maybe help you not be attached as much. This is a tricky one I feel. Don't think "Ideas belong to noone" or some stupid shit like that. Maybe think about it like you're a business partner of your idea with a mutual goal. 3. Focus on creating what you want to create. I feel like this is the most important thing I realized recently. I can't tell you much more than this. Just do it and focus on what brings you joy and motivation. Here you also listen to your ideas and inspirations. To me that's always voices that say things like "that'd be cool", "I always wanted to do this", "I would really like to be more mature about X, how can I achieve this?" I hope this helps anyone clear up their emotional situation as it did mine. One last recommandation: liz gilberts book big magic. The second realization I have from ger and it hit hard. It cascaded to me figuring out the other two. Cheers

@ Fandango To respond to your inquiry: Yes. I feel the same way. I do something like that myself. Since I started doing that I A: am less needy around girls B: have a more healthy view of sex (I thought it was the end all be all of relationships and that everything leads up to that. Yikes).

This is not a troll post. What Fandango is trying to say is very simple. He says: if you have a need (in this case sex) but you can't or don't want to pursue it in a certain way (in this case waste time and energy dating women just to have sex), then go and meet your need in a different way (go nuts on a fleshlight). That way, you're not as attached to your need anymore and can focus on other things. Please correct me if I'm wrong Fandango.