Gesundheit

Having said that I have another theory. This may be an "overcorrection" (for lack of a better word) for the period of time that you were depressed. You know like balancing things out. Since you were possibly repressing some things during your depression, the energy releases you're experiencing right now feel freeing and since you weren't used to these levels of positive experiences, your "bodily receptors" were adapted to the negative experiences so that the threshold was very low. Now it's expanding. What do you think?

That's me. Granted. No you're totally fine, m'lady It's just the way you hold (or perhaps present?) your ideas and opinions that seems a little bit simplistic. It's usually an indicator of how much thought you've given the subject and the amount of experience you have about it. Simplicity here means lack of information. Complexity and nuance means more comprehensive understanding. Only you can rate yourself truly, but for what it's worth it should be pointed out to you in case you didn't notice. Have you watched Leo's Spiral Dynamics series? It's very helpful for bringing in more holistic bigger picture understanding. And it explains a lot about the values you, me, and other people hold. I'm not in a place to be able to appreciate or judge the situation correctly, but I can intuit that it's critical to you. You're an ambitious person and you have many things on your list to achieve. All I can do is wish you luck with everything.

Through disconnection.

@Shir You seem very open but at the same time and to be honest I think you have a lot to learn about this topic. Don't get me wrong I'm only saying this because I don't see much nuance in how you're thinking about this whole thing. Maybe I'm wrong and I hope I am but since you show openness I thought you might wanna hear that. Besides, Idk but I get the feeling that you actually want to have that marriage asap. And nothing wrong about that of course, but it doesn't seem entirely based on logic. I'm not sure. What do you think about that?

@Farnaby If someone tells me I'm not good enough I tell them to suck it. Well, at least in my mind.

Bipolar?

Pros vs. Cons? Do you recommend it? And will you keep doing it?

@Shir don't place your highest hopes on marriage. Just sayin. My advice is to be more realistic and listen and read more about other people's experiences both of relationships and marriage. Like you said, if you take marriage seriously you need to research very well among the stories of others. Everyone thinks that they're special and that their marriage is not going to be a mistake like other dumb people. Yet, I have rarely heard of any marriage that is successful. This raises an eyebrow for me. Why is this the case? You ever thought about that?

Lol I don't know about others but I myself have changed 180° in the past decade back and forth and I still see potential for more radical changes in the decade to come so I don't know. Of course not everyone changes like I did, but people do change to certain extents, and if they don't, they will become outdated. So it's basically like playing with fire. You're damned if you change or if you don't. Do I win yet?

Yeah you can do that for sure. But OP seems to have built a huge fantasy around marriage being something perfect that can never go wrong. As I said, it's only to bring in more awareness.

He may change. Everyone is subject to change, sometimes even radically, like 180°. Simple.

God forbid. I shall ban all governments if that happens lol.

Religions, ideologies, or any other kind of belief system.

No problem. And best of luck in finding your perfect soulmate and raising your perfect children (beware of perfectionism though)

Lol you sound pretty tense. Maybe try to release the tension through something you don't want to do Jk. Apologies.

Dude do whatever you want. I'm not here to tell you what to do or convince you otherwise. You said at the end of your post that you want our thoughts. Well, those were mine, take them or leave them.

There's no such things as safe sex or sacred marriage. You're creating these concepts and believing in them, for some reasons. The reality is that you can never guarantee that your husband will turn out to be a good person. In fact, marriage has been something a lot of people regret. I'm not saying that will necessarily be the case for you. I'm just trying to bring in more awareness. Yes, you can have children both from within and without of wedlock. Yet, you chose to have them only from within. That is something you've chosen, and it's not really noble or anything. But it may seem that way to you. Again, I'm not judging your preferences. You're free to do whatever you want. I'm just trying to bring in more awareness. Of course it is. What else could it be? That's kinda complex. Maybe.

I believe most people have been traumatized to different degrees while growing up regardless of the abusers. Teal Swan focuses a lot on healing past traumas if you're interested in that. Her videos are very practical.

Well that goes into theory land since it's not the current experienced reality. Current reality is that God didn't create a perfect utopia, not even close. Other dimensions are not my concern since they can only be theorized about from here. That is not exactly what suffering is. Otherwise it wouldn't be called suffering, but joy or creativity. The reality is that there's suffering, even though it may be a "misperception" for a lot, and actually the majority of people. No I don't know, and I'm not really interested in knowing. People have different preferences and that's fine. However, not all preferences are fulfilled by choice. Consider that I may even choose to have my balls kicked, but then not find anyone to kick them. See the irony?

Doesn't really make sense, perhaps because I didn't put too much thought into it, but still it's missing the point. I'm not currently interested in explaining why reality is this way. I'm interested in imagining a better reality than this one. A utopian reality where the mere feeling of suffering is not possible, while love and happiness and positivity are all there is. If God is capable of creating that, why didn't it? There must be a reason, or maybe not? But really, to waste time? Is that your explanation?

This is a very valid and important question, yet nearly no one addressed it with a straight forward answer or even what could qualify as a valid answer. Perhaps the way it's presented is not optimal. I could rephrase it like this: if God has infinite power why is the manifest universe not a cycle of infinite joy? This is the old-new paradox. If God is All Good and All Loving, how can evil exist? Forget about evil, why is survival challenging? Why can't it all be so easy? If God is truly that powerful and good.

Babies don't seem to suffer though, at least not as much as kids, let alone adults.

Makes no difference. Save it.

I always thought ignorance is bliss.