Gesundheit

Modern Arabic is my mother language. I know multiple accents and I know the original/native language. Fluency: high. English is my second language and I'm familiar with the Jamaican accent. Fluency: medium. I know a little French and German. Fluency: poor. I'm gonna go with the three languages voting option.

I don't wanna be better or liked or anything. I just wanna be happy.

That's because you assume colors are separate from each other. If you recognize that all colors are one phenomenon you will see clearly that any distinction between them is made-up by the mind.

The difference between shape and color: color is infinite, shape is finite. One is inherent in reality, and the other is made-up by the mind. Haha. That's some really good stuff.

You can't imagine a shape without a color.

@Mikael89 Israeli army does not only defend Israel. It attacks neighbouring countries. Obviously, the neighbouring countries do the same thing in a never ending circle. The difference is that Israel hits strategically on Arab military forces while Arabs hit randomly. @Samsonov Maybe for the time to come just keep learning and expanding your perspective. You seem quite Green. Maybe it's better for you to just focus on your development without giving much thought to life-changing decisions at this point. I know I'm not being helpful here but I'm trying.

LMFAO WTF is this?! ??????? The GTA version is much cooler:

I have all the answers in life. I just don't have any answers to life. I don't know why. Everything is extremely obvious on the most fundamental levels and it's easy to understand how things happen and why. The only thing that I don't understand is why life is happening at all.

@Etherial Cat yeah whatever.

Exactly. I keep emphasizing that I'm asking about sex, but I only get answers about maintained relationships. It's clear to you what I'm saying so I'm not being unclear. I don't know why I get unrelated answers from @Etherial Cat

That must be it. Your awareness is focused on something else currently. You want to sort somethings out before you can allow yourself to be present. Using sex as an escape does not usually work for women. You need to be at least somewhat feeling safe and unstressed for you to be able to manifest sexual desire. The first chakra needs more care of you so that it can transfer your energy to the next chakra, there's something blocking the energy (which might even be low in the first place due to feeling unhappy). So basically, I think you need safety + relaxation + happiness (being present). These are things you can work on and develop by taking your time to understand yourself better and treat yourself better. P.S. Diet can affect your mood and desires too so consider playing around with your food intake.

This must be the weirdest sexual perverse I've ever encountered lol

@Etherial Cat First of all, I just looked up the word "gigastacy" and found some cool pics, so thank you for that ?? Second, you're talking about loving the beingness of the person? But everyone else is also a person that exists, so why should I love someone and favor them sexually while everyone is the same in essence? We all share the same essence and any discrimination would be lack of love or let's just say bias. I believe what you're saying is that the personality is much more important than the material aspects of the person. That's a very popular preference amongst women. I know I am being pedantic but what you're saying is still besides the question. The question is why does this preference exist in the first place? Why are certain people attracted to certain traits while others are turned off by them?

Most of these I would call high wisdom but not truth.

Still a myth. Health is a relative notion. Fulfillment can be achieved without game. Longevity is a matter of luck. Amazing sex is mostly about being in the moment.

Myth.

But what you call common sense is not so common because most women are attracted to certain traits that you don't seem to be attracted to. And that's the problem, because everyone, men and women, value these things. I can't think of anyone that likes a boring, low quality, and detached relationship. These things are prerequisites and granted. But the way how each one of us gets to fulfill them differ enormously. For you, a high quality relationship is based on truth as a core value. Some other person may have money, or humor, or muscles, or curves, or whatever as their core value. The question is why do we differ? Why do we all go about fulfilling the same goals by going in completely different ways? Since we all ultimately value the same things, why are we different?

Actually, no. When you're on the road travelling from one city to another, you can see pointers and signs which like you said are names of the cities. But when you're on the road, you're not in the city (ultimate destination) yet. Hence, the city is a belief.

Currently in a high state of consciousness/euphoria. A lot of thoughts and delusions, but feeling really, really good. So fuck awareness for now, I will enjoy myself. It's been a long time since I last experienced a high state. I'm postponing all practices until further notice. Let me drown in a convalescent bliss!

I have a lot of free time now. So for the time coming, I plan on devoting at least the next three months for awareness practices, mainly and namely; meditation, surrendering, strong determination sittings, hand observation, relaxation and body awareness, shamanic breathing (maybe), slowing down, walking meditation, crying if necessary, cold showers (maybe), running, exercising, yoga (breathing and body exercises), mouth/belly breathing, silence, mindfulness, and a few more I don't recall at the moment. On top of that, I also plan on raging a wide-range war on dopamine. So; no pmo (no fap), no music, no video games, no watching movies or series, no useless or mindless social media surfing, and no useless or mindless chatter in real life. Basically, 100% dopamine detox for as long as possible. Any activity that involves pleasure, I will be cutting off and making awareness of. Even if the activity is high awareness itself, I will try to make more awareness of it instead of enjoying it. Since I have some of the above practices implemented in my life, I am already at high levels of awareness, actually very high (like ×1000) compared to where I was three years ago. My life was basically running on autopilot. I don't even know how I was living. These days, every time I read something or watch a movie that I had read or seen from that time, I discover that I am now reading/watching a very different book/movie. I now possess something I didn't use to, or more like I was just reading/watching air at that time. With this journal, I want to test the limits of high awareness once again. Two years ago, I'd done that for the first time, and it had been a good experience. I want to see what will happen now with my already enhanced awareness, fixed depression, a few other major fixes, and many other minor fixes. And just like last time, there will be no mercy. If I decide to go, I will go all in. And for that, I will journal about this adventure here. Writing things out creates more awareness, and the public space adds more discipline and responsibility, and a feeling of accountability. And it's also relieving to talk about things here as an emotional outlet. This is gonna basically be the practical implementation of my other journal: I don't know how much awareness I can handle, or how long I will last. I don't even know if I will actually get it started. It seems like a good opportunity that I don't feel like wasting. That, and the fact that I feel bored with the mundane life and everything happening within it anyway. I'll probably decide during next week after I take care of a few things. Gesundheit, reporting in. And we'll see.

@Etherial Cat So you're saying that for attraction to occur to you, the man has to go through the conscious filters of your awareness? He has to pass certain conscious standards you have in order to attract you? I'm not sure that's how it works though. At least I'm sure that's not how it works for me. If I have such levels of awareness I won't be able to perform or even be attracted at all. For me, awareness is antagonistic to attraction. Attraction happens exclusively on a subconscious level, just like fear, the moment you look at it, it disappears. Consider sex, what turns me on as a man is the woman's physical beauty. I don't think about it consciously like: "oh, her eyes are blue, and that color reminds me of the blue sky, therefore I am cumming" lol. It just happens in the blink of an eye. All of it, the seeing, the thoughts, the feelings, and the cumming ??

I think there's something missing here. I wasn't talking about compatibility as in intimate relationships per se, but since you attributed that component exclusively to intimacy, I think there's something deeper going on here. Of course, it is good to find a compatible life partner with whom you can also be deeply intimate. But that's a bonus, at least for me. Since I have compatible friends, I do not desire a highly compatible partner. I mean of course I do want the most compatible girl there is, but the psychological need for being understood won't be causing me neediness when I interact with potential life partners cuz that psychological need is already fulfilled and therefore I'm operating from a place of abundance which is attractive in and of itself, which only grows in a cascade effect. The more abundant you get, the more compatible partners you will be able to attract. And then from that place you will be only adding more abundance over your already existing abundance. The only thing you need is the initial spark. After that it will take care of itself. Do you have compatible friends? If you don't, you can hang out here on the forum it can help you fulfill that psychological need which will help you navigate better in the real world. And of course, you're most welcome.

Accept her as she is. Success comes with a tax, that is neurosis. If she's highly neurotic, that means she's a very successful person. These two things come together usually and you can't separate them. You either accept the whole package as it is or you don't get the package.

@tsuki For me as a man, I have contemplated my sexuality a lot and have had some insights. I don't think it's very different the way attraction works for women. We were all kids after all. Basically, sexual desire is energy that arises in the second chakra. The rest is simply classical Pavlovian conditioning, i.e. the thoughts and fantasies and all that. We were conditioned from an early age to desire certain things. Here's how it works: First thing is we learn to desire women. Second is we learn to desire the most beautiful ones. Third is learning to distinguish beautiful from ugly based on past experiences, conditioning, and indoctrination. Fourth is letting all that sink in to the subconscious mind and then take the time and space to develop on its own within the initial boundaries that were made, such as: "it's okay to desire beautiful women unless they are siblings".

This sounds nice on paper but women also used to be sex slaves and not long ago harems, which I don't think is what any woman wants in our modern society. I personally don't buy this evolution theory you suggested. I think evolution has very little role compared to upbringing and media brainwashing.