Gesundheit

I don't know about your girl, but you sound insecure. Perhaps consider working on that regardless of what your girl does.

You can do whatever you want. The question is what should you do about it? And the answer is it doesn't matter.

@Leo Gura You do realize that Mars here is a metaphor?

I used to experience sleep paralysis regularly a few years ago, sometimes even multiple times per night. What I would do was to just try to move one finger, then the hand, and then the arm, and then I would be free. The key is moving just one finger. It will open up a portal for returning your energy into your body. And then you allow the energy to keep flowing by taking it in and distributing it throughout your body. Of course, I haven't experienced sleep paralysis since then. I think it's related to stress, neurosis, and auditory noise (engine noise, etc...).

It's more subtle than that. First of all, about recognizing the limitations of the human devices. We can only experience things within certain fields and ranges. These are what we call the senses. The rest, which we may call concept and imagination, is imaginary. That's its actual nature in the present moment. Second, Mars does not exist as a planet like we normally think it does. Nor is it imaginary like Santa Claus (not made-up). It is somewhere in the middle. It exists as pure potential. Now what is pure potential exactly? This is the crux of the inquiry. And what that is is an undefined field of energy, until the moment you look at it and experience it. In other words, you don't know if Mars exists as a planet until you look at it directly. When you aren't looking, it could have gotten destroyed, or eaten by a cosmic fish, or whatever. But it is definitely real and exists, and definitely not made-up like Santa Claus.

Okay, good. But how did it evolve? Can you remember the phases that you've gone through until you've got here? There has to be some missing, yet crucial components. Also, what exactly is the feeling that you like about it? My theory is that there are two separate issues here. The first is your fetish or let's say sexual energy orientation, and the second is the addiction, which is kinda similar to drug addiction. They are lumped together because of association. Another question: Are you or have you ever been religious?

I realize that I contemplate at an extremely advanced and meta level (most of the times). I have reached levels of advancement regarding contemplation that I believe rarely any other human has. And it all happens subconsciously and by default. I know a few people who have better contemplation skills than me. But they also lack certain things that I don't, like radical open-mindedness and high awareness and high concentration. It's simple, yet at the same time very powerful and effective. I can't list/map out all the steps which I go through when contemplating, so I'll just name the few special When I contemplate something, I try to go meta first and detach myself from the narrative. Then, I take into consideration every little information I know about the source that I got the information from, while highlighting specifically their major characteristics, orientations, motivations, and any interesting information or any background stories, even job, age, gender, etc... can be handy here. Then, I try to assess the state of mind of the source/person at the time they presented the information and try to connect the dots between the assessed state of mind with the information I have about the source/person to the best of my abilities. This process allows me to get a very good idea about what I am looking at and dealing with. It creates a context for the information at hand, which helps in guiding me towards the true essence behind the words, while at the same time allowing me to stay in the meta without having to adopt the said perspective. So I get to have the best of both worlds. I can deeply understand the said perspective, and I don't get sucked into it as ideology. At this point, ideas have become interesting as of having relative value and not absolute truth. It is a good place to be. Or is it?

Thanks. I'll contemplate that.

Thinking in terms of "better" and "worse" is ego. What do you want?

Maybe she was speechless. I've had times where I could not even express the depth of the insights I've been having, although all sober. In certain states of mind, the simple act of talking feels like the biggest hypocrisy in the world. And it's true, thought always betrays the essence. No words can communicate. Sometimes talking about wisdom feels like the exact opposite of wisdom. Sometimes it feels like the wisdom is the source of ego. It really gets strange at times.

@Leo Gura Is God active or passive or both?

Sorry but I don't think you do. What's the point? You're gonna die eventually anyway. So, it definitely has nothing to do with wisdom, and everything to do with desire, fear, pride, and attachment, etc... aka ego.

Riddims like this one are what makes Jamaican music culture the best.

Contemplating death puts reality into perspective. Because life is not everything, the picture is not complete without death.

@Mosess Without ego, none of these concerns could exist. Concerns = fear = ego "In other words, go jump off a cliff. Don’t go near the cliff and contemplate jumping off. Don’t read a book about jumping off. Don’t study the art and science of jumping off. Don’t join a support group for jumping off. Don’t write poems about jumping off. Don’t kiss the ass of someone else who jumped off. Just jump." -- Jed McKenna, Spiritual Enlightenment: The Damnedest Thing

Why did Nahm appear in my dream last night?

When I think back about my last relationship, I realize that I have no regrets. Even though it ended very sadly and gave me quite a heavy shock later on when I found out that she's having a psychotic episode, but I still feel that we did everything right, both during and after. We both made no mistakes. It just wasn't destined to be. We seized the moment entirely, spent a lot of time together, talked every day and every night, shared love - it was sacred and mystical - and we grew a lot together. We lived the connection to the fullest. We worshipped each other. She was the kind of person who is a good student, and a great teacher. And to her, I was the same. She was the purest soul I've ever known, literally. She was simply out of this world. I realize how strange the story that we've had is. You just can't find two more similar people. It's pretty rare. And it's gone. And we're done. Strange. She was strange.

Describes me perfectly. Strange I'd forgot all about it for a long time.

I feel like I'm starting to lose the ability to think purposefully. It happened twice yesterday. I was trying to respond to replies here and I was unable to find the words that I was looking for. I was perfectly aware and was able to read and understand and talk and everything. It's just that when I was trying to force certain thoughts to come up, it felt like they were somehow blocked from me. Eventually, I did find the words and post the replies, and they were good I think. But it was extremely difficult, like creating matter out of nothing.

Quite a misleading title though.

How do you know or determine what enough caring is? What if you were right the whole time and everyone else was wrong?

This question is false because it's presented in a non-contextual manner, and without context, there cannot be answers. The relationship between thought and truth is 100% contextual. You cannot define truth without a context. Before the context existed, truth was impossible.

By stopping all self-help and self-actualization work. When you feel exhausted; stop, rest, breathe, sleep, have a snack, etc... Just don't keep pushing.

You're probably wasting your energy by squandering it all over the place. Try a dopamine detox challenge.

It's wrong to think.