Jacob Morres

Can you give me some examples of this being the case

@Karmadhi yeah instead of looks i am currently just thinking about the vibe i have with the girl. what do i feel? do i feel good? am i enjoying her precense? is she enjoying mine? do i sense authenticity? is she a good person? does she have good integrity? i'm still refining these questions though so bear with me - @RendHeaven even under the sub communications i think the identity and self-confidence is important. the outer and inner are connected but the inner is half the battle. Like there's a difference between being confident and behaving confident. i also want to stress to avoid the trap of not loving and integrating your own weakness and insecurities. they are all valid and worthy and there is nothing wrong with them. because i think i fell under this and the trap of behaving alpha can sometimes make you deny parts of yourself

almost word for word i have the same issue. i think it is a form of "perfectionism" i'm trying to look into some solutions and get some therapy. mine has become kind of intense there should be tons of articles and resources rergarding this issue though

@Leo Gura how would you compare business versus engineering in terms of difficulty?

I don't thats a fair argument to judge this by. I'm sure he didn't have these judgements before and his success with women wasn't much different

i think a part of becoming attractive is not giving a fuck with being attractive

i think there sometimes is an "absolute truth" ring to his perspective sometimes. but it is not by any means, the "right" perspective. not sure if thats just a me thing tho sometimes his videos miss nuance too imo. like his "you shouldnt watch TV ever". i think that perspective lacks individual context to be true. black and white thinking is a trap hopefully that was clear enough

what is toxic feminity? How are we defining it?

What would be considered misandry? Like what phrases and expressions does it show up as? I'm unsure of what it is and how it manifests in the real world and how I would spot it accurately

FOMO is a fear right? Maybe there are some techniques you could use that you know of that could help work through that fear

i dont have advice but i feel for u lol. i have been on both sides she's definietely marginalizing your opinion though, unconsciously i think because of her conditioned scientific mind. i think maybe you could bring it to her how u feel about it. i dont think you could change her mind but she might be more respectful to your beliefs. she has growing to do this area but maybe you could also assert your values and your feelings while simultaneously exploring the trigger and working through it. your feelings matter bro i do have super scientifically oriented friend but he just kind of "accepts" my beliefs. probs thinks im a little crazy for some things that i do but i dont get a sense of judgement or criticism from him

the way i determine what decisions to make is based off the context at hand. so i dont know exactly what the entire context for you is so i cant give you advice, cuz id be going off very little information that being said, doing anything early is great because you just get more value in the long-run, versus procrastinating or keep it off. it also sort of depends on what you feel is more important to you i think and what you value/need at the moment theoretically i dont see much wrong with doing pickup at a younger age. i would just say to filter it through what you feel is right/important

@LastThursday would you say this applies because i don't think OP is talking about sex

My value system generally wants to avoid taken girls The drama that follows in my experience is ridiculous Not to say all situations are the same though

I think it also has to do with men doing the chasing and women being chased. The dynamic gives women more options than men because it takes much more effort to put yourself out there. It's like a natural abundance versus scarcity. That dynamic that defaults to scarcity I think causes limiting beliefs in men which then causes the problems u relayed I think it can be way more nuanced than what I mentioned ofc but this feels like an important piece

yeah i agree. people are rationalizing bad behavior because they feel it's the right thing to do... fighting injustice with unjust behavior.

I think two questions that might help you here might be: What is the value of loving yourself in a relationship and what would that give to you? And what would happen if I didn't love myself? And what impact would that have in the relationship? When I answer that question for myself, i received some profound answers personally

Love it. Did u write this?

@Preety_India feel like saying something like that is like saying "Men like women who are "7+" on the looks scale." Pretty unnaunced

low social intelligence maybe? it's pretty rude. i've never had a negative response like that from talking to girls before she's also self-weeding herself for you if she talks to you like that

@MatteO22 my fault I vaguely remembered u saying it a few days ago. Ill try to find it

@MatteO22 i'm curious about what you mean about the blatant misogyny on the forum

+1 this is my perspective mostly

Also maybe see how they respond when you tell them an issue. Do they hold space? Do they care about your well being? Do they validate your feelings? Also seeing if they're able to meet your wants and needs seems important to me. So getting clear on that and seeing if they can fulfill that. For example if someone has a need for intimacy, and the partner isn't meeting you there, it may be beneficial to see how important it is for you. Some people say to list your non negotiables before entering a relationship. Things that are important or you walk Also getting clear on the other persons intentions and seeing if their actions match those words helps. If they don't, it's important to set strong boundaries and be willing to walk away. Feel and think abundance. Like if they say they are into a relationship with you but you catch them on Tinder, strong boundaries are important

@IAmReallyImportant lol all good