Jacob Morres

@hoodrow trillson some of the anti racists have heavy internalized racism in them They're fighting against their shadow or something

Ya I agree. I don't agree with condemning most of the time, I think everyone deserves compassion But need to be careful because it's deeper than preferences

Also implicitly Those on the other end will feel the racial bias on a systemic level Like you see through dating apps and swipes. Though black women are probably not explicitly having said racist things to them, implicitly they feel the bias Stats show this Like thru their lack of swipes, lack of good responses from men, observing and comparing w other poc and how men treat them etc. Like if you don't work through racial bias internally it'll reflect externally. I dont want anyone to feel shame for it as I think we all have some of it to an extent so it's understandable. But still has its consequences so it's best to be worked thru (if that resonates)

i do not recommend betterhelp betterhelp is a new platform for affordable therapy but the problem is i think (no offense) attracts therapists that may be new and lesser competent. they also get paid very little. ive heard like $25/hr which is ridiculous as therapists usually make $200 / hr i had 4 therapists from there (they let you swap until you find one you like) and they were so lowly skilled relative to the ones i got who charge market rates. im sure though, if you do not have insurance or can't afford it, they are probably helpful. but for me, it just didnt suit my needs

@AlwaysJoggin true thinking it is hard is a self-fulfilling prophecy for me i have a core belief that business is easy and it's made doing business so much easier.

Impact is inherent You will always have some sort of impact on the world/people around you, it's important to take conscious control over it because it will either be negative or positive

As long as your intent is clear it's chillin. Like whatre you trying to achieve with it

yeah i can relate. for me models just feel too inaccurate to fully depict who i am, where im at, and what i need or desire a lot of models are just straight irrelevant to me. sometimes theyre incomplete to my needs. sometimes theyre inaccurate. sometimes theyre not that useful as i previously thought sometimes theyre useful for me i had to question why i was even using the models in the first place and if they were the right ones for me.

yeah, they say sexuality is a spectrum not a binary thing and a lot of people will never explore - part of what keeps people from exploring is cultural stigma and past conditioning

Nice Someone gets it

Looks won't give you much happiness But I also want to put the caveat of sometimes its right for people at their level of development But for me after having a rel that was extremely unfulfilled it taught me that fulfillment is #1 But I've also never really been into looks that much. I sort of am, but like leo mentioned I care much about other aspects which make looks much less relevant

@zazenidk I still think somethings off with this "be a man" stuff. It's too inauthentic for my taste

Everybody is weak and awkward to some degree and not acknowledging it and being okay with it can create a part of you that is neglected/disowned @zazen If you hide it, you're being inauthentic I think yall.are missing a pillar of what creates a meaningful relationship

nice

@Leo Gura I think there may be a distinction between attraction and love, empathy & connection

Very interesting My hypothesis on this is that Contemplation is where you change your perspectives. Challenging old ones, and building new neural pathways Almost like weightlifting where you push your weight to tear your microfibers muscles so that they can rebuild into new ones And you can only push your comfort zone so much At a time Just a guess

The art of creation === Goal/Why vs/+ Process/Systems Paradox in self development: (paradoxes aren't actually paradoxes, they exist on the same plane, they are only seemingly paradoxical) 1. Don't focus on the goal, focus on the systems The truth in this statement is that having and setting the goal itself won't manifest itself by itself. There are specific action steps that you need to take that are essential to manifesting your goals. However focusing on this alone gives way to problem 2. 2. Don't focus on the thing, you need to have a why The truth in this statement as I understand it is that the action steps sometimes are not motivating at all and won't get you the results you desire. The why will give you something meaningful to chase after and generate desire and motivation to create it. However focusing on this alone gives way to problem 1. The solution I understand it Since focusing on the goal/process alone is incomplete, my solution and understanding of the convergence is that have a goal and then focus on the specific action steps that create the goal! either/or has issues To be even more nuanced, it seems to be a balancing act, not an either/or. both have their specific use cases and tons more nuance For example another nuance is focusing on the goal and developing the goal can increase your motivation when you lose meaning. the goal can sometimes be overwhelming so it's sometimes best to focus on the action steps that manifest that goal That sometimes can make you blind to the process so you need to be aware of enjoying the process as well -> the enjoyment can create a fulfilling and happy life. the process is also what actually generates that results so getting the process down real good will help you manifest that big/small goal. however focusing too much on the process can make you lose sight of the bigger picture of what you want out of life and where you are going.

How do I create or increase desire for something? Repeated contemplation about objects or anything in the world results in attachment. Attachment creates desires. https://www.quora.com/How-do-I-create-or-increase-desire-for-something In Bhagavad Geeta Chapter 2 Verse 62 Sri Krishna Says dhyāyato viṣhayān puṁsaḥ saṅgas teṣhūpajāyate saṅgāt sañjāyate kāmaḥ kāmāt krodho ’bhijāyate While contemplating on the objects of the senses, one develops attachment to them. Attachment leads to desire, and from desire arises anger or greed. Once desire develops, it gives birth to two more problems—greed and anger. Greed comes from the fulfillment of desire.Non Fulfillment of desire gives rise to anger. When we repeatedly contemplate that there is happiness in some object, the mind becomes attached to it. It is not intrinsic value of the object but our perception that the object would give happiness creates desires . For example If one is attached to drinks, the desire for drinks comes repeatedly to the mind. If one is attached to cigarettes, then thoughts of the pleasure of smoking cigarettes repeatedly flow in the mind, creating a craving for them. In this way, attachment leads to desire.

By this you mean it's not nuanced enough for the developmental lines? Like for example for the Relationships line, it's not holisitic enough

@Spiral i really appreciate that at least it's coming into awareness i think also Leo needs to take some responsibility here

maybe we need to use systems thinking to observe this phenomena

Very fair. Ik it helps a lot of people, but I do think it's overdone. You can definietely find doctors that are aware of this trap though.

Many psychologists are experts in abnormal psychology but not experienced in new psychology. Like the stuff you gain in personal development, life coaching, and most of positive psychology So their view will be limited. But it can be helpful It actually comes with a ton of limitations - One being is that they see everything in terms of a diagnoses or mental health issue - some doctors have a bias towards medication

1. Moojis wisdom and practice on tough emotions

Kindness requires presence and holism Emma seppala says #1 key for charisma is presence "charisma simply put Is absolute presence" ???? Giving advice requires a ton of presence to do properly... Playing competitive sports requires a ton of presence to play properly Perhaps the summary of all endeavors is presence "Mindfulness is about being fully tuned in to what is going on in the present moment, both around us and within us, with an attitude of openness and curiosity. By practicing mindfulness diligently, we become more objective observers of our world and our reactions to it. We begin to see work situations and challenges more clearly, and recognize our own mental filters and biases in how we understand and deal with them" https://www.hci.org/blog/four-steps-mindful-action As per my understanding, Presence is what allows for clear, holistic decision making, understanding and wisdom, unclouded by the biases of the mind. It's like we see better and clearer