Jacob Morres

As long as your intent is clear it's chillin. Like whatre you trying to achieve with it

yeah i can relate. for me models just feel too inaccurate to fully depict who i am, where im at, and what i need or desire a lot of models are just straight irrelevant to me. sometimes theyre incomplete to my needs. sometimes theyre inaccurate. sometimes theyre not that useful as i previously thought sometimes theyre useful for me i had to question why i was even using the models in the first place and if they were the right ones for me.

yeah, they say sexuality is a spectrum not a binary thing and a lot of people will never explore - part of what keeps people from exploring is cultural stigma and past conditioning

Nice Someone gets it

Looks won't give you much happiness But I also want to put the caveat of sometimes its right for people at their level of development But for me after having a rel that was extremely unfulfilled it taught me that fulfillment is #1 But I've also never really been into looks that much. I sort of am, but like leo mentioned I care much about other aspects which make looks much less relevant

@zazenidk I still think somethings off with this "be a man" stuff. It's too inauthentic for my taste

Everybody is weak and awkward to some degree and not acknowledging it and being okay with it can create a part of you that is neglected/disowned @zazen If you hide it, you're being inauthentic I think yall.are missing a pillar of what creates a meaningful relationship

nice

@Leo Gura I think there may be a distinction between attraction and love, empathy & connection

Very interesting My hypothesis on this is that Contemplation is where you change your perspectives. Challenging old ones, and building new neural pathways Almost like weightlifting where you push your weight to tear your microfibers muscles so that they can rebuild into new ones And you can only push your comfort zone so much At a time Just a guess

The art of creation === Goal/Why vs/+ Process/Systems Paradox in self development: (paradoxes aren't actually paradoxes, they exist on the same plane, they are only seemingly paradoxical) 1. Don't focus on the goal, focus on the systems The truth in this statement is that having and setting the goal itself won't manifest itself by itself. There are specific action steps that you need to take that are essential to manifesting your goals. However focusing on this alone gives way to problem 2. 2. Don't focus on the thing, you need to have a why The truth in this statement as I understand it is that the action steps sometimes are not motivating at all and won't get you the results you desire. The why will give you something meaningful to chase after and generate desire and motivation to create it. However focusing on this alone gives way to problem 1. The solution I understand it Since focusing on the goal/process alone is incomplete, my solution and understanding of the convergence is that have a goal and then focus on the specific action steps that create the goal! either/or has issues To be even more nuanced, it seems to be a balancing act, not an either/or. both have their specific use cases and tons more nuance For example another nuance is focusing on the goal and developing the goal can increase your motivation when you lose meaning. the goal can sometimes be overwhelming so it's sometimes best to focus on the action steps that manifest that goal That sometimes can make you blind to the process so you need to be aware of enjoying the process as well -> the enjoyment can create a fulfilling and happy life. the process is also what actually generates that results so getting the process down real good will help you manifest that big/small goal. however focusing too much on the process can make you lose sight of the bigger picture of what you want out of life and where you are going.

How do I create or increase desire for something? Repeated contemplation about objects or anything in the world results in attachment. Attachment creates desires. https://www.quora.com/How-do-I-create-or-increase-desire-for-something In Bhagavad Geeta Chapter 2 Verse 62 Sri Krishna Says dhyāyato viṣhayān puṁsaḥ saṅgas teṣhūpajāyate saṅgāt sañjāyate kāmaḥ kāmāt krodho ’bhijāyate While contemplating on the objects of the senses, one develops attachment to them. Attachment leads to desire, and from desire arises anger or greed. Once desire develops, it gives birth to two more problems—greed and anger. Greed comes from the fulfillment of desire.Non Fulfillment of desire gives rise to anger. When we repeatedly contemplate that there is happiness in some object, the mind becomes attached to it. It is not intrinsic value of the object but our perception that the object would give happiness creates desires . For example If one is attached to drinks, the desire for drinks comes repeatedly to the mind. If one is attached to cigarettes, then thoughts of the pleasure of smoking cigarettes repeatedly flow in the mind, creating a craving for them. In this way, attachment leads to desire.

By this you mean it's not nuanced enough for the developmental lines? Like for example for the Relationships line, it's not holisitic enough

@Spiral i really appreciate that at least it's coming into awareness i think also Leo needs to take some responsibility here

maybe we need to use systems thinking to observe this phenomena

Very fair. Ik it helps a lot of people, but I do think it's overdone. You can definietely find doctors that are aware of this trap though.

Many psychologists are experts in abnormal psychology but not experienced in new psychology. Like the stuff you gain in personal development, life coaching, and most of positive psychology So their view will be limited. But it can be helpful It actually comes with a ton of limitations - One being is that they see everything in terms of a diagnoses or mental health issue - some doctors have a bias towards medication

1. Moojis wisdom and practice on tough emotions

Kindness requires presence and holism Emma seppala says #1 key for charisma is presence "charisma simply put Is absolute presence" ???? Giving advice requires a ton of presence to do properly... Playing competitive sports requires a ton of presence to play properly Perhaps the summary of all endeavors is presence "Mindfulness is about being fully tuned in to what is going on in the present moment, both around us and within us, with an attitude of openness and curiosity. By practicing mindfulness diligently, we become more objective observers of our world and our reactions to it. We begin to see work situations and challenges more clearly, and recognize our own mental filters and biases in how we understand and deal with them" https://www.hci.org/blog/four-steps-mindful-action As per my understanding, Presence is what allows for clear, holistic decision making, understanding and wisdom, unclouded by the biases of the mind. It's like we see better and clearer

Another reason could be she has a bf /someone she likes / is not ready for dating / etc. Maybe communication is key here

Cuteness =/= Kindness or Holism or Consciousness Guys who try to be macho/tough are trying to put on a masculine front. I think this is a disintegrated feminity (?) Becuase you're not accepting and confident in who you are, which is feminity -> acceptance (?). I see this in myself I noticed that girls who try to be super cute and like cute things like cute animals and stuff, I always felt a sense of toxicity from them. Some form of abrasiveness, toxicity, racist, "snapping back", attitude, ego.. And I kept getting confused because I'd actually thought that the cuteness and kindness were correlated. My expectations for feminity always fell short Is this just me? So my guess is.. Girls who try to be cute are trying to put on a feminine front. This must have a disintegrated masculinity or something if I assume (?) equivalency === I just remembered this picture that SamC posted here so girls that are " cute " but are also bullies have a masculine shadow Did I j make a connection wtf Yo am I carl jung or what Healthy integrated masculinity would be healthy conscious boundaries. Which requires some masculinity right? Conclusion: I am pretty wrong. I'm just keeping this up so I can contemplate on it later

13 blue 40 orange 45 green 2 yellow (percentage wise) im just taking a quick guess

Redefining kindness Kindness is inherently not an act, not a good deed, a gesture, donating money, being nice, hugging someone I think real kindness takes holism to enact you have to understand your own biases, your own weaknesses, the well-being of the other, your own selfishness your own biases can cause you to be selfish -> causing you to do harm onto others sometimes kindness is feigned in the sense that it is done "for others" but under the veil of its own selfishness . like someone doing something for your own good, ...but really it is due to their own fear for you. it might not be good for you either, and really just a desire to ease their fear. like an overprotective mother. maybe its kept in good intentions. i can be a bit jaded in this perspective or if they are donating for public approval, not out of love or empathy of the other person or if they are a Green company only because it would bring more profit! the veil of love (though all of it is human, and perhaps just a lesser form of love (?)) You need to be acutely aware of your own selfishness to be kind. Without this ,you will commit evil. This requires a level of consciousness and development Kindness =/= People pleasing Kindness =/= Being nice Kindness = Emotional intelligence. Awareness of other's emotions Kindness = Good intentions Kindness requires - High self-awareness - Low degree of selfishness/ High degree of selflessness (we are all evil/we must reduce our evil) - Holism and as I wrote a year ago... Kindness without boundaries is self-sabotage "Empathy without boundaries is self destruction Empathy with boundaires is compassion" To have a high degree of selflessness requires a ton of self love, detachment, healthy forms of coping and consciousness (awareness of the situation) TBC.

Very true, I am very low calibre human being I wish I could be as high calibre as you

recently been consuming a lot of this guy's work the reason I like him is because he can be nuanced and a bit un-biased in the sense that he explores many types of productivity strategies in his work, and has a general orientation towards healthy productivity over toxic productivity (but also is able to see the nuances and benefits in the toxic style) this isn't his only one btw he has a bunch of videos on the topic