Jacob Morres

@Happy Lizard i think there might be an issue between values and emodiement of values wdym not being able to fathom? like she thought u would be extremely mysigonist or be anti-lgtbq or something?

Yeah my opinion is similar to this I think generally when you have a perspective bashing another group, there's a bigger perspective missing Like maybe bad similarity but when u call a homeless person who complains, a lazy person without work ethic, you are missing some key insights about the person and the system that created him and what makes it hard for him. Like maybe mental health and therapy for certain disorders for example. But then we apply the 'lazy' label and it's not a holsitic, empathetic or nuanced opinion.

Too negative of a perspective He treats women weirdly on his podcasts Some of the stuff makes noo sense when he's calling out women. He's being way more immature than the women sometimes on the podcasts. He's more or less on the same level of immaturity as them

Same I'm undoing a lot of the old ways I did personal development. I love stage orange. I love making $, competition, mastery etc.

@Lyubov ye I've heard bdsm can be done from anger or lust. The former I think is very unethical. Maybe even abuse rationalized as bdsm

I don't like using a ranking system, but leo to my knowledge only goes for 10s and he's not a 10

same. when i was ripped it literally didnt help cuz my game was so bad LMAO. dudes cant get away without game (or confidence, whatever)

@itachi uchiha keep your eye out for 7s with guys that are less than 7s. you will find a lot

@Blackhawk damn bro, i empathize with you bcuz if i hadnt had some lucky experiences i would have felt the same way. i felt like that for over 5+ years. it's not true, i would definietely put some effort into help and finding some friends/therapists who can help every self-image you have about yourself, it doesn't matter what it is for the most part is just a confirmation bias. i'm smart, i'm stupid. i'm funny, i'm unfunny, im attractive, i'm unattractive, i'm lovable, i'm unlovable etc. etc. are just self-fulfilling prohecies and confirmation bias. but how do you undo these confirmation biases/self-image? ime what worked for me: Eckhart tolle Law of attraction 6 Pillars of self-esteem Mindset - Carol dweck Tom Bilyeu Good philosophies and teachers that help Good friends to help An intention and desire to improve Meditation Self-image therapy It took many years for me to undo it so I understand. It's not an easy process, but there is a light (and other methods) To me it seems as though you just wanted to be validated. Which is totally okay. I understand that pain you feel. it's so real and i understand. It's also not true, an illusion

facts thoughts you've identified with . You can see through their illusion with enough presence . If you practice eckhart tolle mindfulness you'll notice these are thoughts not truth Tara Brach on Real But Not True: Freeing Ourselves from Harmful Beliefs: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yn8c1ex_eWs&t= The beliefs are probably stemmed from some trauma which youve identified with and then spent many years in confirmation bias with that belief. I know bcuz i'm still undoing mine but ive made a lot of progress in the last 3 months Since psychology is so complex i cant give advice because i dont know you personally - but trauma work by david r hawkins and self-image therapy has been helping me with this these realities are also available to you. 'Women love me', 'my brain is great', 'i'm good enough as you are'. not instantly but a work in progress. good luck! PSA: This is just a reflection of my own healing process and not meant to be diagnosed advice to everyone

Mark of good philosopher/y - Able to non-biasedly talking about the traps and shortcomings of a philosophy. to me shows a comprehensive view of a topic rather than some topics that just shill the good parts of a philosophy. scott h young does this well - i enjoy when a book can have practical aspects as well as theoretical. when a book that is deeply biased towards theory, sometimes it's difficult to find the real life practical useful examples of how this idea manifests. the author of 80/20 does this really well. he takes the idea and deeply brings about the practical aspects of his theory. he also encourages the reader to develop on this idea as well and to find their own examples of how the idea manifests and even develop on his idea - a philosopher that doesn't think of their philosophy as the "one truth". to me this shows they aren't deeply attached/biased towards their perspective. Like they are aware that they are using a lens to look at the world rather "the only lens that exists" lol. mark manson is deeply guilty of this. he talks about his philosophy very black and white and with a lot of dogmatic black and white thinking. - a philosopher that is very holistic and non-dogmatic. 6 pillars i think is a great example of an author who spent many many years developing the truth of a book. he focuses on - isn't tied up into black and white ideas like. Only focus on the goal! Only focus on the process Etc. Can understand the nuances of both perspectives. - Has an affinity for the truth. His perspectives aren't dogmatic and partial to his own perspective and can integrate other people's perspectives - Has a sense of integrity with his work. Has a affinity for good intentions, empathy, and for genuinely good and helpful work instead of work that perhaps 'makes money', 'trendy', - Can appreciate the theoretical and practical aspects of his work - Can include nuances for different types of people/personality types/situations . Gives his philosophy in a way that accounts for the differing situations of individuals - Shows some real life experience with his work. Shows his theory is grounded in real life - Can think deeply and isn't tied to just shallow perspectives. Has a sense of holism to his work. For example, how to win friends and influence people was not holisitic enough because it only included surface levels of conversation habits. While useful, did not include other parts of the topic like meaningful relationships, self-esteem, attachment theory, NVC Actually good philosophers: Scott h young - I like him because he is constantly evolving and deepening his ideas, has a ton of practice, and is very non ideological. His bias is something he is aware of and is developing on in his work. He's grounded in self-awareness, lack of ideology, and good service James Clear - Also is aware of complex nuance in his work. A very concise teacher because he is extremely hyper 80/20. really shows he practices his work as well. Understands complexity and gives good advice (though it can be random at times...) Actually weaker philosophers: Mark Manson was included way too many black and white ideas. He'd swing way too far into one direction and disregarded nuance in most cases

Empathy vs Advice When to be empathetic? When to give advice?

Why? Cuz using ranking scales inadvertently keeps you on a ranking scale as well, and so you judge yourself as lower than others if you're not a 10? this hierarchy thing feels so ingrained into our psyches lol. I really am curious how much of it you can let go of it

@Raze facts it do be a self fulfilling prophecy

Most definietely, especially for dudes. Girls value character more than guys do. there's this thing called "ugly hot" that girls use lmao. it's a backward compliment but its meant for guys who have other qualities that make them attractive but are not conventionally attractive - looks wise

Hes bold. Fights for his dreams and does what's right

@Leo Gura well that's nice to hear

what do you guys think are some examples of male role models? @CodyXarex @Terell Kirby i guess such a question is very subjective to me it's men who lead with integrity, compassion, and ambition

You may like this book https://www.amazon.com/Say-What-You-Mean-audiobook/dp/B07NPRXSVM/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?crid=3KTG4C7L364MX&keywords=nvc+mindfulness&qid=1639439005&sprefix=nvc+mindfulness%2Caps%2C122&sr=8-3 I personally enjoy it because it stresses on using mindfulness and that imo is a pillar of healthy communication

this is a common issue. i would search something along the lines of, "overwhelmed by large goal", or something that articulates your issue even better.

Aspects of great social skills: Awareness of the other person's actions and feelings (?) Awareness of your own and other's manipulations (?) Strong degree of presence Calibration to the social dilemma Empathy Self-confidence Good intentions You can't have great social skills while having anxiety bcuz you will be anxious rather than performing well/confidently. ANd good social skils requires confidence to some extent. I think shadow work, trauma work, mindfulness, self-love is critical

I too am interested. I'm not fully aware of the resources for this yet, but I was reading this at Barnes and noble the other day and it looked decent The Mindful Relationship: Easy Exercises to Make Mindfulness a Daily Relationship Practice https://www.amazon.com/dp/1641526513/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glc_fabc_J85T4JSJ3SER5SKJRJ0J

The dude corrects some of the issues in modern therapy with his ideas and provides tons of very good philosophy and techniques for OCD

Ya I agree . Sometimes mindfulness/meditation is not the ans Sometimes just connecting to friends can do 100x more than mindfulness. It's honestly just so contextual me thinks

I've heard that same critique of mindfulness, thinking it as if you're meditating your problems away. The term for that is spiritual bypassing. While that is a trap, it's not inherently what meditation/mindfulness is. Meditation/mindfulness comes in many forms and has many use cases. Therapists use MCBT and other grounding techniques to calm down anxiety - it's scientifically proven to be effective You can calm down your anxiety (using meditations. both as a daily practice and while the anxiety is occurring) and work on your problems at the same time! Mindfulness is soooo powerful for that. Meditation also has the potential to help fully let go of some anxieties. She is deeply underestimating it (sometimes meditation alone is not enough. it depends on the issue and person)