davebryand

Has @Leo Gura ever said what he was referencing? Thanks!

You fucking rock! ??

I've found that vaping DMT with the Yocan and freebase crystals (no PG or anything) very energizing and healthful-feeling for my lungs. I've coughed up and spit out deep mucus blockages after a large DMT session that went away forever and improved my singing voice and ability to breath deeply. When I tried 5-MeO, I found the same effect except it felt deeper/lower in my lungs where the effect felt activated. I achieved this effect with inhalation combined with something like Wim Hof breathing.

This was the same for me. He said things in a way that rung my bell. ???

After about 30-40 DMT breakthroughs, tonight I had the opportunity to try 5-MeO-DMT for the first time. My work with DMT was built on a foundation of inner-work, meditation, and psychedelic exploration resulting in constantly deepening levels of spiritual awakening, but mainly that this whole thing is all about L❤︎VE. I've met entities, jesters, and had what seemed like initiations into higher consciousness over the past year and a half and came to see all of that as figment of the One imagination. I've recognized the reality of myself (and you, and you, and you!) as God and have experienced this directly on a number of occasions across a variety of experience over the past three years. Long story short, all of the work is going well and I have a lovely life magically manifesting before my eyes. Tonight I put on Djesse Vol. 3 by Jacob Collier and loaded somewhere around 25mg into the ceramic donut coil of the Yocan Evolve Plus XL. I had taken about 10mg two nights ago and confirmed that this stuff takes me to what I might call as the "finish line" of my DMT experiences. I instantly recognized and was saturated in Oneness and knowing my Divinity. That was an appetizer, tonight I was ready to GO IN. I meditated for a bit with some incense and got very centered on my intention. I began inhalation using my normal protocol from DMT experience of slowly breathing in for a count of 30 while I pulse the Yocan two seconds on the button, two seconds off. As I get about 10 seconds in I try to gauge from the vapor consistency whether or not I need to pulse more or less or for longer than two seconds. I did that and then after about a count of 20 I was at my limit, began holding my breath and that was that. I don't remember much overall but I do have the memory of repeating to myself: "This is it, this is pure awareness, you're experiencing pure awareness! This is pure awareness--you have to remember! This is pure consciousness--bring this back!" I was out for about 20ish minutes I believe, from working into it later, when I suddenly find myself sitting up, looking at some beautiful candles and flowers that I have setup in our porch, dubbed "The Lotus Lounge". Things are glitching and reality is sort of quickly cutting in and out or something. I was seeing this manifest reality from a MUCH different perspective of inclusivity and perfect connection with everything in existence. Next thing that pops into my head is "Holy shit, is this what Leo was talking about with 5-MeO-DMT and Mahasamadhi?!?! Fuck!!! I'm merging with the Universe and I have to choose right now if I want to die and complete the merge or stay here on earth... Holy fuck, holy fuck, holy fuck. I CHOOSE EARTH, I CHOOSE LIFE HERE!" (not sure that's exactly what Leo was saying, but that's what came up for me) "Holy fuck, am I gonna dematerialize and disappear from existence?" At this point, I kinda shit my pants. (Thankfully that's just a metaphor) "Fuck, I need to get grounded! I start grabbing the flowers, saying 'keep me here, I wanna stay here!'". That was working a little but the state I was in was FUCKING INTENSE. The sharpness of the awareness and "allness" was UNREAL. Completely sublime and blissful, but I can't even begin to describe how intense this dose of reality was for me. MUCH more intense that anything I experienced on high doses of DMT. For some reason, I was always prepared with my mindset in those experiences to just go along for the ride. In this experience I was like, "yup, I'm gonna die", everybody is gonna be disappointed that I fucked it all up. I thought "Fuck--I need to wake wifey up and get help!" I ran into the room and woke her up "Babe, I need help." My voice sounded like some of the effects in the Jacob Collier album I was listening to (I think that's why I like it ?)--glitching and skipping. "I took 5-MeO-DMT tonight and I'm freaked out!" I still felt like I was dissolving and could disappear completely at any second. We went out into the hallway and sat down across from each other. We held hands and she looked me in the eyes and said "it's ok, babe, I'm here, I'm here." I've never been so happy to see someone in my life. She looked beautiful and I was so comforted to look at her. "I need to get grounded, I need to you help me get grounded", I said in a slightly calmer state then even just a few moments before. I was coming down and things were starting to feel more material and I was beginning to believe that I would see another day on Earth. "White wine! Please, white wine!" I had this intuition that the cool, crisp taste of white wine would get me back in touch with my senses and further solidify my return to reality. I walked out onto the porch to wait as she poured the wine and within the few minutes it took her to get that ready, I was already ready to walk in and tell her that I was good to go. I was still slightly woozy at that point, but it was clear I was back and good to go. We sat up and had a long conversation about this experience, my DMT experiences, my call to the shamanic path, and other topics which we don't have super high bandwidth communication around. She was amazingly accepting (I'm a very lucky person!) and supportive. Thank you, Lovey. As I was talking to her I had an Aha, which was: "Ohhhh fuck! THAT's what ego death is!" I've had experiences that have completely transformed what I think of as my ego and have had experiences of dissolution on DMT many times, but all I can say was this was some next level shit! Ego death goes MUCH deeper than I realized. Thank you, Leo, for all of the courageous work that you are doing to bring awareness to these glorious psychedelic gifts we've been given. ???? ???

Great description! I was breathing slowly on the come up and relaxing myself, but then I was out for what felt like a minute and was 20. When I came back to some awareness of body I was still in a very heightened state and that's when I thought I done broke the Universe. On DMT I was able to completely let go and surrender. In this experience, I thought I was surrendered until I hit the resistance/fear in my mind that Leo described about potentially leaving his body permanently. I now know that I can let that go and surrender to this experience. Looking forward to having a more controlled demolition in the future. ? Well said, @allislove, thanks!

I'm not sure if I've experienced "ego death" or not at this point. What I know is that I've felt connected to the Infinite in many experiences in my life, but in this, I literally thought I was merged completely with the infinite and every shred of my identity here would cease to exist.

Thank you for the feedback--much appreciated ?? I believe you that it's only the beginning. That description of salvia clicks for me and I think I just shit my pants again. "Beyond ego-death there are many degrees of God-realization." Aha--of course! We can't move into God-realization mode until Phase Ego Death is complete. That explains a lot of my DMT Path and the growth and setbacks that occurred during that time. I did move into a God-realization mode eventually on DMT and then had some amazing energy body experiences that felt like the end of that chapter for me. I now see why this is next chapter. ???

@Leo Gura I'm curious if your relationship to the feeling that you could choose mahasamadhi while on 5-MeO has changed as you've integrated that experience. I'd also love to understand more about why you say that you would have taken the whole universe with you at that point. Thank you!