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@Carl-Richard I can't say any of these people are my "heroes" in the traditional sense of the word, but some folks who I deeply appreciate and resonate with are: -Daniel Schmachtenberger -Jamie Wheal -Richard Rohr -Ken Wilber -Susanne Cook-Greuter -Terri O'Fallon -Scott Barry Kaufman -Adyashanti, Rupert Spira, Neal Donald Walshe -Hanzi Frinacht aka Daniel Gortz -Terry Patten -Thomas Huebl -David Deida -Leo -Daniel Thorson -David Hawkins -Rebel Wisdom and Future Thinkers guys -Holly Woods -Alan Watts

@Raphael This feels to me like a very honest assessment. Thanks for sharing!

@Fearey Thanks for sharing! I'm not sure what you're referring to as Teal. In the Integral Theory map, Teal is the alt term used to describe SD Yellow. So it wouldn't make sense to go from Coral to Teal? I'd suggest looking into STAGES which is a synthesis of Integral Theory and Susanne Cook-Greuter's stages of adult ego development. STAGES includes the MetaAware tier (5.0+) and goes into detail about each stage. Attached are two PDFs that you might find helpful to read. One is an overview of STAGES and the other is a deep dive into the later stages and how they map with nonduality and the Buddhist maps of Enlightenment. In STAGES, a rough outline could be: 4.5 Strategist = Yellow 5.0 Construct Aware = late Yellow / early Turquoise 5.5 Transpersonal = Turquoise 6.0 Universal = late Turquoise / early Coral 6.5 Illumined = Coral (but again, Coral isn't even really a thing, so it's hard to name this a true stage at this point in time) The_STAGES_Matrix_Roadmap_GEN_10-18.pdf Here's a link to the more in-depth PDF: https://www.integral-review.org/issues/vol_16_no_1_churchill_and_murray_integrating_adult_developmental_and_metacognitive_theory.pdf

@DocWatts Yes, agree. I prefer the STAGES model which is based off a synthesis of Integral Theory and Susanne Cook-Greuter's work. I'm doing a course with Terri O'Fallen right now which has been a great way to integrate all the stages including the later MetaAware tier ones which Susanne's model does not cover (she bulks later stages after Construct Aware into a catch-all called Unitive). I just did SD because it's what's most commonly used as a map on the forum. Not enough people would know what Achiever, Pluralist, Strategist, etc would mean so there would be no point in creating that poll. Which stage of ego development do you resonate as your COG using the Cook-Greuter model? The_STAGES_Matrix_Roadmap_GEN_10-18.pdf

@hyruga Because nobody on this forum is centered at those stages...or they wouldn't be on this forum.

This is so beautiful.

@Fearey I'm aware that there's other stages missing - that's intentional on my part. Nobody who is chilling on Actualized.org has a center of gravity below Blue. In fact, I highly doubt anyone here is at Blue. My guess is the vast majority of folks are at Orange and Green with some Yellow and *maybe* a couple of people peaking into Turquoise. Coral is not a real stage yet and basically doesn't exist beyond likely a small handful of people on the entire planet. If you're at Coral, I highly doubt you'd be responding to this forum post. But maybe lol. I'd be curious to hear more about your experience and understanding of what stage you're at and why. @Matt23 See response above about more options needed. Agree, it's not a scientific poll haha just put it out there for fun. Center of gravity, like ego development itself, is a construct. Of course it doesn't exist. It's just a label describing an experience in the relative world that some people identify with. I try not to take it too seriously while also not overlooking its utility. What stage do you feel you most often orient from in your day-to-day life?

@March My pleasure. Feel free to reach out if I can be of help. I've been to several of the communities on the list and have a pretty good understanding of most of them.

@Roy hahaha good one!

I highly recommend this book. Found it to be an excellent read. https://www.amazon.com/Transcend-Self-Actualization-Scott-Barry-Kaufman/dp/0143131206

@Godishere I’ve been contemplating this question a lot recently. Thanks for asking it so articulately. I can’t say I found much clarity in the responses above, but perhaps it’s not something my limited ego mind can wrap its head around in this state of consciousness. Perhaps @Leo Gura has some insight.

Felt spontaneously called to write this essay the other morning. Sharing here. I wrote it as a way to guide myself through these teachings. Hope it can be of help to others. https://tuckerwalsh.medium.com/this-66ef86798794 All there is, is This. “This” represents the unspeakable Nothing which transcends and include Everything. You are always a part of This because you are This in its infinite totality, even when you believe you are separate from This. To better understand This, close your eyes and drop all thoughts, even the subtlest ones. What’s left is absolutely Nothing. “But what do you mean, I hear birds and my breathing, and I feel my body and see these words that I’m reading?” you might ask. These are all thoughts. If you drop all the thoughts, what’s left is whatever Is, which cannot be named, because, naming it is thinking it, which then separates Nothing into Something. But how can it be Nothing when it feels so full of Something? It’s Nothing because it’s prior to the finite mind (aka “your” mind), which means it’s unfiltered Awareness prior to any labels, stories or identifications. When the mind no longer labels and identifies (creates stories), it no longer separates. When there’s no longer separation, there’s no longer boundaries. When there’s no longer boundaries, there’s no longer Something. Everything becomes simply Nothing. And yet even the word Nothing is saying too much, for Nothing cannot be communicated, only experienced. And guess what? You’re experiencing it right now, forever and always. Nothing means there is no time, no space, no you, no me, no past, present or future. So, in a sense, Nothing is infinite, for there is no boundary between here and there, before or after. All there is, is This. “Okay, that’s all fine and good. But I do have a mind. I do think thoughts. I do feel I am a human.” Let’s just pretend for a moment that you are not the one thinking these thoughts. What if these thoughts were just arising as Something in the infinite Nothing? What if “you” were Nothing creating thoughts that created Something? “But how could this be possible? How can Nothing create Something if it’s Nothing?” This presumes that Nothing has limitations and is unable to create, which would mean Nothing is not infinite rather a separate object which can and cannot do certain things. But that would be mistaking Nothing for Something. Nothing is infinite, meaning Nothing includes every single possible Something. Anything less would no longer be infinite, and that would make it Something, not Nothing. So Nothing creates Something called thoughts which create Something called thinking which create something called a thinker which creates something called you. When there is a thought that there is a you, there by default creates another thought that there is a not you. This is the birth of Separation. Once there is a you who thinks you think thoughts, entire universes of infinite potential open up. Notice how “your mind” has created layers upon layers upon layers of abstractions and thoughts and identifications and stories, and yet, you’ve been looking at the same screen for the past five minutes sitting in the same room having barely moved. Your mind, however, has traveled endless miles through Something. This realization creates the experience of multiple dimensions of Something. There’s the physical dimension of the felt senses. And now the subtle dimension of the mind. But wait, is there? Drop all the thoughts again. Is there really anything other than Nothing? “Well, there’s these thoughts arising, so there must be something other than Nothing.” Okay, but who is aware of these thoughts creating Something out of Nothing? “Well I am, of course. I am the one aware of these thoughts because I am the one thinking these thoughts.” Technically, that’s right. But not the “I” who you think you are. If you know you are Something (in this case, “I”) because a thought says you are, then you cannot be only that thought, for that “I” thought arises and falls as Something back into Nothing. The thought is here. Now it’s gone. But “you” are still here, right? “Yes, but I feel that ‘I am.’ I can feel my body.” You can feel your body, but you can also feel the seat that you’re sitting on and the ground beneath your feet. So how do you know that you’re not also the seat and the ground? “Because I am my body, not the seat. This seat isn’t reading this. I’m reading this!” The only way you know that is because you believe a thought that you are you, and that you are thinking these thoughts. And because everyone else around you is appearing to also think these thoughts, you think this is all crazy. “Yes, I do. But to answer your question, if I stand up from the seat, I no longer feel the seat. So how can you say I’m the seat?” You feel your arm, right? “Of course.” What if you had it amputated? Your arm is gone now. Would you still exist? “Yes, but if I had my head amputated, I would die. Then I would no longer exist.” That’s an interesting thought. “It’s called a scientific fact, not a thought. Maybe, possibly, I could exist in Heaven or something. I’m not sure.” Let’s drop the thoughts again. Let’s simply rest with what Is for a moment. Let me ask you something: when you close your eyes and let the thoughts drop away, do you still exist? “Yes.” What is your felt experience of This? “I just feel here. Like everything is arising and falling, coming and going.” Who is the one witnessing all of This? “Me. I am.” Who is the ‘me’? Where is the ‘me’? “I’m just...here. I just...am.” For the purposes of communication, can you give this experience a label? A name? “Hmmm. Not really. It just feels like...nothing.” Did you say…Nothing? “Wait, you tricked me! No, it’s not nothing cause there’s lots of stuff happening. I can hear things and feel things and smell things.” Yes, if you, as Nothing, think you are Something, you can have an infinite number of experiences, including smelling, feeling, hearing, living, dying and, of course, thinking. But if you be with all these Somethings as Nothing, you may come to realize that the “you” who you think you are is simply that: the you who you think you are. This “you” has died billions of times before. “Are you talking about my soul or something?” No. I’m talking about the “you” who you think you are. One moment you think you’re awake. The next moment you think you’re tired. The next moment you think you’re hungry. The next moment you think you’re intelligent. The next moment you think you’re Tucker. The next moment you think you’re anxious. Each thought arises as Something and falls away into Nothing. Each “you” lives and dies for precisely as long as the thought exist. When the thought dies, you die. Until a new thought is thought, and a new “you” is born. “That sounds pretty philosophical. But there is a me that is here for all of these passing thoughts. That’s the real me.” Yes! Exactly. There is a You prior to any thoughts of a Something called “you” arising. That You is… “Wait, let me guess...Nothing.” Exactly! Well, not exactly, for the word Nothing is just a label we are giving that which cannot be labeled. But I think you get the point (literally, I think you get the point). “Okay, but how do I stop identifying with the passing thoughts that make me feel I am Something rather than Nothing?” First off, let’s be clear: you are also Something. Nothing is infinite, meaning Nothing includes Something, which includes the thought that you are Something and not Nothing. My suggestion is to spend as much time with Nothing as possible, as if it’s your dream lover that you desire to spend every moment with and get to know as deeply and intimately as possible. Until one day you realize that you are this Lover, and you as Something and your lover as Nothing get married and become One. “And then what?” Then you do what most married couples do, you have kids. You as Nothing create lots of Somethings, and you love them unconditionally as if they were you. And in this case, the very literally are You. “How does the story end?” How can Nothing end? It never began...

Same issue here. Been like that for several weeks, maybe longer.

Ignore the Enneagram tests. They're all pretty crappy from what I've seen. Just read the descriptions of the 9 types and see if one strongly resonates. For most people, one type will strongly stand out. But not for everyone.

Does anyone know of nondual teachers who offer satsang and are generally accessible? Or teachers who live in communities where awakening is the primary intention? Thanks!

Here's a giant list of communities around the world that are majority Stage Green. COMMUNITIES __ Tucker Walsh.pdf

Does anyone here resonate with the Construct Ego Aware stage as defined by Susanne Cook-Greuter and Terri O'Fallen (via STAGES lev 5.0)? I'd love to hear about people's journeys into this stage, particularly some of the challenges that emerge. I haven't met someone in-person who identifies at this stage (though plenty of people who are beyond it). There's very specific challenges and pitfalls that present themselves as the ego is being deconstructed, and it would be great to use the community here to provide support along the way. Perhaps it could even turn into a Zoom gathering of some sort. Open to ideas

IFS is excellent, especially for those whose ego development is Pluralist (Green) and above. Parts work really begins to come online around high Orange / Achiever stage. A book that includes IFS style parts work as well as other more nature-based modalities is Wild Mind by Bill Plotkin: http://www.wildmindbook.com

I also just signed up for this 9 month program designed specifically for Stage Yellow / Strategist and higher leadership training. I've heard great things about it from several Yellow friends. https://www.pacificintegral.com/gtc-north-america

@Carl-Richard Nice! Where did you meet him? Where do you live? I've found a lot of folks online through various communities like Emergent Commons and GameB.

Three questions about Leo's latest video: 1. He speaks about how unconditional Love would just as much enjoy eating dog shit as sushi. But wouldn't unconditional Love also love my bias for sushi? 2. Second question, if God doesn't prefer life over death (or Somethingness over Nothingness), why is there anything at all? Is there not some preference on some level for something to be rather than just pure nothingness? 3. Lastly, why did the Buddha want to end suffering if not suffering is not better than suffering? Thanks!

@Leo Gura I get what you're saying and don't mean to be parsing words, but isn't it also true to say that my limited ego form is also God's infinite intelligence acting in accordance with God's will? If Tucker does not exist beyond a thought construct, then isn't God already in full control of my life and creating me from a place of total Love? So yes, as God allows Tucker's ego to further dissolve, more Love can be expressed through this vessel, but in reality it was all infinite Love all along?

@Gabith Awww, thanks bro