An young being

The funny thing is I went all the way to see Adiyogi, but didn't visit the Dhyanalinga as I was too lazy to walk a few kilometres.

Why only mangoes everyday? What do you mean by bioenergetics

We always need someone like @Bazooka Jesus in every forum post to remind us constantly that discussions are for fun, and nothing to get offended at or be serious about, especially when the topic is related to Spirituality. Kudos to you! Ps: Don't forget to give us updates about your India trip!

Yes, money is an essential part of life, but when you enter a field like cyber security and be there for sometime, you might even start liking your new life. Don't forget to take care of your health though. If you do that, you can work even till 35 to 40 and still enjoy a life of your choice and passion after you get the money you wish. You still got 30 to 40 more years and it's a very long time than you think. Thoughts are the only thing that can disturb the balance of life, so either find ways to get rid of thoughts like mediocrity or fulfill the demands of those thoughts by creating a solid plan.

By acknowledging that nothing is permanent.

Atleast you can represent it into something like this:

Ha ha ha!

True, the same image can be interpreted in many number of ways on many levels depending on the biases of our mind. This was my own interpretation with some help since Kali is a fierce form of shakti who personifies power, and Shiva sacrificed himself up selflessly to stop her from destroying everything.

When you wish to wield power, you have to be selfless, or you will destroy everything.

Did you mean Her?

If serotonin is the problem, mindfulness is still one of the solutions. Here are some other ways: https://indianexpress.com/article/lifestyle/health/happiness-hormones-release-them-simple-hacks-seratonin-oxytocin-dopamine-endorphins-8650904/

And where are these thoughts coming from?

Where's this thought coming from?

Mindfulness will help the cause. Focus on the PRESENT. Everyone gives that advice though. But that doesn't mean it won't work.

I even had an ego dissolution experience during a dream. I meditated in the dream though.

India would be in a bad mood for a few days as they just lost the cricket world cup.

Trauma itself I believe is mainly caused by the memory of the event. If you were a monk that time during the trauma, you wouldn't be having much negative reaction to it even during the trauma and you won't even register a bad memory. But we humans are susceptible to the following effects: 1. The past perceptions about the event from external sources which magnify the effect when caused to us and determine how bad the trauma is. 2. The strong registration in memory of the present reactions happening within the body during the event both physically and mentally. 3. The constant recall of the bad memory every day in the future, adding up to further bad and distorted memories along the way.

I do slap myself some time lightly to become alert or simply for fun.

What I think is that a balanced approach will do wonders. He can do everything that you stated as fun activities and still study well. For that, the importance of education must be realised as much as the importance of mental health. In the end, all will be balanced, it's just what kind of experience we choose to have: in this case, 1.extreme happiness with zero effort for a short time followed by misery for a long time or 2.extreme sadness with 100% effort for a short time followed by happiness for a long time or 3. satisfaction all the time with no spikes in happiness or sadness. This is just an example, the balancing act is far more advanced within the mind than we imagine. What I believe is, there is nothing special we need to worry about with regard to correcting the world or make it a better place, especially if we wish our mind to be peaceful. Naturally, the world will move towards unity and less pain, which a part of every individual secretly wishes for. We can do small feasible acts of goodness with compassion without worrying about the world becoming a bad place without this and that.

This mindset is what I was talking about. Just remember that no state is permanent.

To be frank, that's a gift rather than a curse. It is a state higher than normalcy and not lower. If you are afraid, stop meditation completely, you don't seem to require it anymore. How is your mind right now? Can you stay quiet and have a clean mind for ten minutes without doing anything? Or is your mind constantly being bombarded by thoughts higher than usual? Based on your descriptions, there is nothing alarming about it. But if it's the second case, surrender to it completely, and it will vanish on its own after some time.

They will be happy at that age, and it's fine, but the problem comes when you grow up, not feel as happy as you were earlier and start complaining to God

If you are scared, you can take rest from meditation and focus on mindfulness in your day to day life. I had similar psychotic+Spiritual episodes long ago for months after extreme meditation, but it vanished on its own after stopping it. I rarely meditate after that, in fact if you have got freedom from thoughts bombardment/ monkey mind, a few minutes of meditation everyday maybe more than enough and could be equal to hours of meditation sittings. You can also try shifting to loving kindness meditation for a while. When your fear is gone, you can come back to your ordinary practices.

And love yourself for acting like a human.

Human, of course! If you want to become God, you have to become independent of all thoughts. There are some who indeed are able to see his family and an unrelated one or an insect as the same, but still it's difficult for them to avoid feelings like guilt and other emotions as thoughts all the time. So, yes, you can momentarily become what we call a God. As a human, I believe it's not necessary to be impartial towards everything. But we all can strive to become God through practicing unconditional love and it's children such as compassion, gratitude, forgiveness etc. For example, you can save your daughter and still be compassionate towards the man whom you cannot save and yourself for not being able to give up attachments altogether and not act like a God.