AlwaysJoggin

i might actually dye i feel like i failed harddd i cant take the pain it hurts so much i jst want someone to hear me out i lost im in huge pain

dam i just realized that having no life purpose was a major thing when it came to me not being able to control my addiction and falling to addiction in the first place.

@Igor82 but “boosting our evolution” is ego thinking and survival that is counter productive to your point of eternal love no? Idk nothing matters just let go it’s ok or not who cares do what you want and seek what you want nothing really matters not even boosting evaluation it’s already infinite and maxed out. It really doesn’t matter unless you want it to be so good luck don’t hide the youth serum if you find it one day from us!. And just a thought, ever wondered if living forever was good for humanity and who said that will boost our evolution? It might halt it. You see maybe it is ego thinking after all and not a for sake of evolutionary love for humanity. Brain masturbation

@snowyowl thank you yes you are correct it does have to do with something deeply rooted , like my material needs when I didn’t gamble i had a more minimalistic lifestyle than when i was gambling for say and addicted i also started having nore instrest in buying more clothes and shoes and having more to spent around. my recovery process will include being back to simplifying living and being happy with what i have since it varies from addict to another to why he or she becomes trapped into this addiction i somewhat have came into realising what triggered me and tilted me to gamble. But yes it’s connected to a deeper cause also gonna start to meditate again I only stopped because meditation caused me depression bit i will approach differently hopefully this time it won’t as meditation can keep me grounded on what really matters in life and that’s def not money but it’s thing’s like watching my mom cook food <3

I lost yet another good chunk of money to gambling Im addict , I keep going back I can’t stop i make so many posts before on my addiction and i keep going back I won’t give up I will try again I just hate myself so much right now

@neutralempty lol you reminded me of this anime character Light Yagami “everything went according to plan”

@neutralempty very predictable and your nihilistic thinking is nothing special it roots you offer judgments to only assumptions have you ever been addicted to gambling and tried to quit or wasn’t able to quit how do you know for sure it’s over?, i should exept my sentence! wow pain. have you verified that personally? for you to preach your superior wisdom? Have you met addicts have you met severly addicted gamblers that are now live long sober? do you know me? You know how long I’ve been dealing with this the extent and what addiction and being exposed to something like that is? No just socially awkward random nerd beta on forums don’t take yourself so seriously. Your opinion doesn’t matter and your doomed for thinking other wise maybe in your next life youll get upgraded.

@neutralempty may i ask, how old are you?

@neutralempty stop repeating what your dad told you, it’s ok everything will be ok be strong!.

@kras greed, brain disorder. I’m financially secure so it’s not that i need money , it’s so tricky but I never really decided to stop for good, I guess this time I’m convinced it will never be any good to keep on gambling thankfully it’s only been less than a year I feel this time I’m beating it

@neutralempty cool story

Danm alot you don’t cry much huh? I do it from time to time I’m very emotional and my emotions can get triggered easily specially at night is I’m deeply hurt or from thinking about my mom and dad i miss them and movies, where scenes of sacrifice for love take place i let it flow special if I’m alone lol there is a scene from animation called inside out where a character I forgot his name (if you saw the movie you know who) sacrifice himself so others make it to save the girl , that act of selflessness love is soo beautiful i cry.

@Nahm that! ?

This thing that is going on reality or life is it randomised in the moment or it chooses what to imagine what it wants and how does it know what it what’s out of anything it’s solo and when does is make up and think or just infinity possibles accruing? Idk if that makes sense cuz while does it not just imagine stuff that doesn’t have suffering why would it imagine to be something that is it’s most entire life in pain and fear is that error from the infinity? What will it gain from it? It just wants to experience it but why? Just do infinity of happiness isn’t that doable

@Nahm i don’t think he should seek it your friend rather probably understood that later, it comes to you! , like when you have no worries and at ease at the end of a day that’s happiness (at least for me subjectively) or when you competing or doing sports ect , your brain is making happiness hormones, i know the brain doesn’t really exist . it’s different types of emotions we want if we seek it, it looks like a homeless person doing meth.

Why does God want to suffer this much why is infinity want to experience this how is this love how? im so angry i stay agnry for a whole day and I can’t forgive for petty things I have all these childhood traumas that hunt me before I sleep sometimes but I have people that love me I can’t forgive easily because they hurt me even if they beg me to forgive them I can’t let go it’s soo hard and I’m suffering even tho I want to tell them I love them and I forgive them and that i was never mad at them in the first place because I understand but at the same time i fo the opposite and make them suffer too ????? I’m so sad

@PepperBlossoms ah i always act up most people are scared just want to get by with there robotic lifes ,I choose to stand up for people and my self in public one time i was getting extremely harassed and threatened by a drunk guy at the subway who also assaulted me, I’m confident and i can take care of my self luckily for me he chose wrong person to miss with but in the train cart when he was harassing me and everyone was just watching alot of people i looked at them and said what are you people doing you shouldn’t be silent when you see wrong and a fellow person who could use help like maybe they could have spoke up said something it would help there silence made me feel alone and less safe they all looked scared lol anyways I choose to be a strong leader and person and inspire for others to be the same thats why i told everyone who was watching me get harassed and just stood watching to be strong and not be afraid cuz I could tell some people where concerned with what’s happening maybe the world will be a better place idk probably will. So what do You want? You want to help someone who is getting bullied or watch him and feel his pain without doing anything? I just can’t i feel the pain and i see myself and i try . that’s love What ever it is chose to face fears and uncomfortable feelings you will grow from it

I suggest looking into Uruguay seems like a chill country and alot of nature, idk if you done alot of traveling or not but if you haven’t and you are 25 get ready for some cultural shock than may damage your ego and might make you want to go back to your parents where it’s safe and fuzzy and familiar, so travel around maybe see couple of countries experience and explore, and don’t look for place just for its cheap that’s bad idea Unless you really can’t afford too idk good luck

@PepperBlossoms thank you I am through it now I will try to forgive as soon as possible so I don’t build and grow grudges because it will be hard to let go later my ego is on low stage I understand that i was actually on higher stage before but I recently went down as im dealing with stuff in life

I’m soo sorry I hope you be stronggg

It’s been less than a year since I first started I tried to quit my times fail over and over and now I’m in the edge I hurt my self financially hope this my waking call and i leave this behind with 2020. I’m 23 and since I started gambling in around May this year i lost 10k maybe a bit more I don’t remember. the problem is I don’t want to work 9to5 job i hate it so i say i will start making money gambling lol?

@PurpleTree same i even use to gamble and not get addicted it happened when I started winning alot i went on a winning run and that made me convinced that I somehow learned something here but in reality i was just getting lucky and that was dooming for me taking me time and time again to lose to start realising the truth that table games are rigged and fixed specially blackjack you have 3 times more likely to lose that win yet they make you believe it’s 50/50.

@Nobody_Here yes sorry I actually meant Orange not yellow, got them confused lol. i am aware I’m stuck here atm also recovering from gambling addiction gonna take a while fir me to make any mental shifts.

@Mu_ i will try it thank you mu and everyone i read it all very helpfull now I have to do my part