AlwaysJoggin

@neutralempty very predictable and your nihilistic thinking is nothing special it roots you offer judgments to only assumptions have you ever been addicted to gambling and tried to quit or wasn’t able to quit how do you know for sure it’s over?, i should exept my sentence! wow pain. have you verified that personally? for you to preach your superior wisdom? Have you met addicts have you met severly addicted gamblers that are now live long sober? do you know me? You know how long I’ve been dealing with this the extent and what addiction and being exposed to something like that is? No just socially awkward random nerd beta on forums don’t take yourself so seriously. Your opinion doesn’t matter and your doomed for thinking other wise maybe in your next life youll get upgraded.

@neutralempty may i ask, how old are you?

@neutralempty stop repeating what your dad told you, it’s ok everything will be ok be strong!.

@kras greed, brain disorder. I’m financially secure so it’s not that i need money , it’s so tricky but I never really decided to stop for good, I guess this time I’m convinced it will never be any good to keep on gambling thankfully it’s only been less than a year I feel this time I’m beating it

@neutralempty cool story

Danm alot you don’t cry much huh? I do it from time to time I’m very emotional and my emotions can get triggered easily specially at night is I’m deeply hurt or from thinking about my mom and dad i miss them and movies, where scenes of sacrifice for love take place i let it flow special if I’m alone lol there is a scene from animation called inside out where a character I forgot his name (if you saw the movie you know who) sacrifice himself so others make it to save the girl , that act of selflessness love is soo beautiful i cry.

@Nahm that! ?

This thing that is going on reality or life is it randomised in the moment or it chooses what to imagine what it wants and how does it know what it what’s out of anything it’s solo and when does is make up and think or just infinity possibles accruing? Idk if that makes sense cuz while does it not just imagine stuff that doesn’t have suffering why would it imagine to be something that is it’s most entire life in pain and fear is that error from the infinity? What will it gain from it? It just wants to experience it but why? Just do infinity of happiness isn’t that doable

@Nahm i don’t think he should seek it your friend rather probably understood that later, it comes to you! , like when you have no worries and at ease at the end of a day that’s happiness (at least for me subjectively) or when you competing or doing sports ect , your brain is making happiness hormones, i know the brain doesn’t really exist . it’s different types of emotions we want if we seek it, it looks like a homeless person doing meth.

Why does God want to suffer this much why is infinity want to experience this how is this love how? im so angry i stay agnry for a whole day and I can’t forgive for petty things I have all these childhood traumas that hunt me before I sleep sometimes but I have people that love me I can’t forgive easily because they hurt me even if they beg me to forgive them I can’t let go it’s soo hard and I’m suffering even tho I want to tell them I love them and I forgive them and that i was never mad at them in the first place because I understand but at the same time i fo the opposite and make them suffer too ????? I’m so sad

@PepperBlossoms ah i always act up most people are scared just want to get by with there robotic lifes ,I choose to stand up for people and my self in public one time i was getting extremely harassed and threatened by a drunk guy at the subway who also assaulted me, I’m confident and i can take care of my self luckily for me he chose wrong person to miss with but in the train cart when he was harassing me and everyone was just watching alot of people i looked at them and said what are you people doing you shouldn’t be silent when you see wrong and a fellow person who could use help like maybe they could have spoke up said something it would help there silence made me feel alone and less safe they all looked scared lol anyways I choose to be a strong leader and person and inspire for others to be the same thats why i told everyone who was watching me get harassed and just stood watching to be strong and not be afraid cuz I could tell some people where concerned with what’s happening maybe the world will be a better place idk probably will. So what do You want? You want to help someone who is getting bullied or watch him and feel his pain without doing anything? I just can’t i feel the pain and i see myself and i try . that’s love What ever it is chose to face fears and uncomfortable feelings you will grow from it

I suggest looking into Uruguay seems like a chill country and alot of nature, idk if you done alot of traveling or not but if you haven’t and you are 25 get ready for some cultural shock than may damage your ego and might make you want to go back to your parents where it’s safe and fuzzy and familiar, so travel around maybe see couple of countries experience and explore, and don’t look for place just for its cheap that’s bad idea Unless you really can’t afford too idk good luck

@PepperBlossoms thank you I am through it now I will try to forgive as soon as possible so I don’t build and grow grudges because it will be hard to let go later my ego is on low stage I understand that i was actually on higher stage before but I recently went down as im dealing with stuff in life

I’m soo sorry I hope you be stronggg

It’s been less than a year since I first started I tried to quit my times fail over and over and now I’m in the edge I hurt my self financially hope this my waking call and i leave this behind with 2020. I’m 23 and since I started gambling in around May this year i lost 10k maybe a bit more I don’t remember. the problem is I don’t want to work 9to5 job i hate it so i say i will start making money gambling lol?

@PurpleTree same i even use to gamble and not get addicted it happened when I started winning alot i went on a winning run and that made me convinced that I somehow learned something here but in reality i was just getting lucky and that was dooming for me taking me time and time again to lose to start realising the truth that table games are rigged and fixed specially blackjack you have 3 times more likely to lose that win yet they make you believe it’s 50/50.

@Nobody_Here yes sorry I actually meant Orange not yellow, got them confused lol. i am aware I’m stuck here atm also recovering from gambling addiction gonna take a while fir me to make any mental shifts.

@Mu_ i will try it thank you mu and everyone i read it all very helpfull now I have to do my part

I’m extremely tempted to gambling right I quit a while back and I’m suffering from extreme temptation but deep down I don’t want to do it but another part of me wants it.

I’m also suffering from “this” no interest in anything job related or any college program i scroll pass every college program and job in my country and I don’t like anything so what do i want? it’ll like what ever I’m not interested I’m interested in competition! only i view life as a competition I’m very open minded but (I can’t help how my brain sees the world) i like buying clothes and looking good because Its a competition i want to win in not looking bad i go workout and do boxing because if I don’t do these things i “lose” i don’t know what i lose but i feel like i lose! ,want to win in life, get money, get strong and never not being able to buy anything i need. I am gambling addict I’m trying to quit now but my life view also reason I’m addict and bad gambler every time i lose i go all out again and can’t think and then i lose i get hurt i quit. sounds like I’m stage yellow but I don’t believe so despite all that the person i am that only my self knoes in not stage yellow despite i love material. im non judging i help people I’m calm and i try my best to grow my love but still I’m all that too. Spiral dynamics is not linear I discovered from my self. You see it’s infinite there are infinite stages in between every stage so on It’s ok if you feel lost keep practicing meditation also practice to accept who you are and don’t judge yourself and let go i try to do that and it’s helping me because if I don’t. Its hard hard to have this conflict with yourself. It’s all good who cares you don’t look apon a purpose? social pressure maybe? Because ohh look you need a purpose because look everyone os doing something go do something it’s not that simple there is a reason you don’t like some things and like other things. How you grew up, your parents, your genetics, your country, your financial statues. Well dam that’s how eveybody is different some people don’t do purpose and view it how others do. Good luck all I’m trying to say is it’s ok you will eventually find your way

I had a roommate that i was a bit mean towards she was a lesbian and had a girlfriend and one day she walked in my room to smoke and talk and she outa nowhere asked for sex, it was shocking and confusing. I ended up saying no in an undirected manner as i was super stoned from weed and i was afraid my penis won’t get erect cuz i was smoking everyday and my penis would be limp from all the weed. <<<< I deeply regret this one i should have said yes and the only reason I couldn’t do it because i was afraid, my body was filled with fear that omg! what if my penis was too limp and she exposes me i had another roommate that would invite me to her room “to watch a movie” more than once and i use to say no and I would just jack off and sleep, i also regret this one but not as much the reason for me not accepting? I was afraid the dynamics between us would change since we live together at least that was the way i did thinking ? maybe it was just another excuse my brain convinced me of because of fear? Bit why was I afraid of sex?...

@Nahm thanks

@Tim Ho lol I know right, smh ✌????

@Nahm any practice or daily exercise for me to become aware of that which you said. offff I really feel and think too much about what people are feeling ok i have this exercise to do (but let me know what helped you) i will be conscious and aware (if I remember) when ever I’m interacting with people to let go of thinking about what they’re feelings and focus on me but you see it’s hard cuz my brain will translate situations and connect it to feelings and how i feel will be the derect reflection of how they feel which will be hard for my brain to avoid. But that’s when self control comes in maybe not feeling that way in the first place is possible but that is next level stuff that will take ages to master but a think that i can do is just controlling myself and not let the feelings take over amd make decisions against the feelings? But why are the feelings wrong? Why should I resist?...... I should just ....acccept I should from resisting i want to be free i am free i let go let go it’s ok don’t-let go there is nothing there to let go. Im fine I’m fine I’ve always been. Just been that’s it it’s beautiful